Do you believe men and women can stay just friends?

Question

Sillte · Accepted Answer

I feel like a lot of women WANT to think it is possible. And sure there might be a minority of male/female friendships in which people have truly no other motives.

But from my experience as a girl, I have to say that up until now almost all guy friends have made advances towards me at some point when I am single after a relationship. Hell, my current boyfriend used to be my best friend! I used to be the type of girl that said: "I like hanging around guys more than hanging around girls". I now know why: they are always supernice towards women. Maybe a offensive joke here and there. The only fights I have had in friendships were with girls; because they do not have a hidden motive to stay nice all the time. I have found guys to be a lot harsher to each other than towards me. That has made me think. Especially when a lot of them asked me out on dates the minute I was single.

When there is sexual attraction as well, I do not think there is space for a truly platonic friendship. Also, I think it is not decent to continue such a friendship once you are in a relationship with someone else. Therefore I try to keep my distance with guys nowadays whenever I am in a relationship.

btbc92 · Accepted Answer

Yes, you can even if your sexually attracted to each other. Its all about intentions and how you values your relationships with these people. I had friends who crushed on me, but respectfully agreed to stay as friends since we hold nothing in common romance/sexual wise. There were guys I can say was attractive to me. But that's all it is ATTRACTION. NOTHING ELSE. My goal with them were nothing sexual in nature. Just because your sexually attracted to a person, that doesn't mean you should end up in bed together. It's common sense. You will not be compatible with everybody. But selfish people tend to get angry that they can have you sexually. Instead of trying to be a friend before seeing if being a lover is possible, people hop into 'friendships' hoping to stir the boat of course elsewhere. Its fraud. Don't do it. That's how you get so-called 'friendzoned'. Be honest and respect those who you say you desire your friendships with. And if it's MEANT to be something more, it will happen at its own timing and pace.

lernulo · Accepted Answer

Yes, and yes if they know their place.
One of the things I say in those cases (sexually attracted by one position only) is that the friend rejected must understand his place and not trying further, he has the right to continue searching and must do it.
And to the loved one, that if likes the other part as friend must respect and understand the has the right to continue searching and may be help on a good way.
I had one friend like that I was in love with her, but she rejected me, so I asked her to help me, in fact she really did, I became more attractive and she presented me others friends, and got a girlfriend 3 months later so, I must say she was really good on it.

And yes, I listened histories about how she fucked with other boys, but she had to help me to get other girls so, we were even.

What I don't understand is that of we are friends, but if you are looking for... It doesn't matter to me, reject your chances to listen how good was the sex with the person who isn't you.
That is what should be avoided at all cost.

WhiteSteve · Accepted Answer

I think so. I’ve always had female friends in my life, throughout other relationships. In my mind, have I wondered about what hooking up with them would be like? Probably, in most cases, haha, but whatever, that doesn’t mean anything has to happen. I mean, life in general, you just simply don’t hook up with 99.9% of the people you meet. If one or both of you are in a relationship already, that makes it even easier. If your relationship sucks and has you thinking about the other person, that’s a “your relationship” issue, not an “attractive platonic friend” issue. Bottom line, people can’t be handcuffed. Relationships need to remain strong on their own merits, you can’t guard them like crazy and then say it’s solid. Whether someone will cheat or not, that has nothing to do with who their friends are and everything to do with their individual character.

SkipStop · Answer

It's kind of complicated. I had this female friend in high school. We hung out a few times. Went ice skating, festival, things like that. Nothing big. She was average looking to me and I did not have interest in her as anything more than just a friend. However, here's the weird part. When she got close to her other guy friend (even talked to me about him), I got kind of jealous. Don't know why. So I was not really sexually or even romantically attracted to her but I wanted to be her only guy friend. Damn, that makes me sound like a jerk.

BrittBratt2416 · Answer

ugh... once sexual attraction gets involved you stop being friends and up being crushes or un an unrequited love. Either one. One of my male co workers just told me a couple days ago that his female best friend lied to his ex and told her he cheated on her with her while they were together cause she's pissed that's he's already seeing someone else. She wanted them to give it shot... so it really makes me wonder.. sometimes I just don't think so. And a lot of men have secretly admitted that if given the chance, they would pursue something more with their female friends that they secretly find romantically and sexually attractive.

Anonymous · Answer

Of course! My best friend is a male and I have many other great male friends as well.

My best friend and I actually briefly dated in high school, though nothing serious at all, and I'm not sexually attracted to him anymore and we have both agreed that we're best as friends. We have been friends since childhood.

I actually typically tend to click best with guys, as they seem more laid back, there's not a competition like there tends to be with girls, and my goofy personality fits in with guys better. That isn't to say that I don't like having female friends because I have plenty of those as well, but I am closest to my male best friend and feel more relaxed around my guy friends.

MemeSupreme · Answer

Yeah I have a gay friend. Lmfao no they can. I am friends with guys and from what I know we just want to be friends and they know I'm dating someone already so I'm guessing that turns them off

Dongtai · Answer

Yes. But I think there has to be zero physical attraction on both ends. If I can’t see myself having sex with a woman there’s no way I’m dating her. On the other hand there’s no guarantee that just because I’m not attracted to said girl and only want to be her friend, that she’s not attracted to me and wants more than friendship

Midnight_Kiss · Answer

Not if they're attracted to one another or even if it's one sided but otherwise yes men and women and can be just friends my longest friend of 25 years is male and I have several other male friends of over a decade. Unfortunately I've lost a few over the years because they wanted to be more than friends, I think as a whole it really depends on the person (s) in question.

BobSansMal · Answer

Sure. Even if one (ok, or even both) has some sexual attraction towards the other, that doesn't diminish or necessarily interfere with the friendship.

BrookieCookie0422 · Answer

If they went through a break up then no.

I casually dated one guy and after a while we ended up going our separate ways because it just wasn’t working out due to school and work and schedule issues. We didn’t get to see each other as much as we would have liked.

We are still friends and talk on the phone occasionally to keep in touch.

If it’s causal yes, if it was serious or they had a bad falling out then no.

FirmlyAboveAverage · Answer

It depends. A lot of men chose their female friends based on the girls they find attractive, in which case no they won't want to just stay friends. However, for just purely platonic friendships I think it's possible

AnimeMan205 · Answer

Of course! As long as Self-Control is present. Me and a Co-worker were like that, and... Of course, She's beautiful! But She's a Lesbian, and already involved... So I stay back, and She stays back! (We call each other Siblings, and are Perfectly comfortable with hugs!)

adolescentswede · Answer

Yes though i think we got two differing views on friendship.
I consider friends. 1. anyone who it is more convinient to be friendly to then hostile.
2. Anyone which whom you derive pleasure from, can be but do not have to be sexual.
3. Anyone whom improve you moral character.

AynonOMouse · Answer

Not if they are sexually attracted to each other, or even if just one is because they will try to ruin the other person's relationships with intentionally bad advice during difficult times.
If they aren't interested because of something that would prevent them from wanting a relationship with the other person then they probably could be friends.

Anonymous · Answer

I have 2 guy friends who have said they have feelings for me but they still wanted to stay friends when I said I don't feel the same way and we are very good friends who always help each other. Platonic friends. We never flirt or feel awkward around each other. Then again they're pretty mature as people, many men aren't.

themomo84 · Answer

I wouldn't say sexually attracted. One of my best friends is a guy and he's cute, but we're friends and vice versa. Acknowledging someone's attractiveness doesn't mean they're any less of a friend unless u want more. So yes, men and women can be friends.

Skyrose12 · Answer

Yes I have a guy best friends that’s really attractive but just because he is doesn’t mean we click or have that spark. He’s just my best friend and it will stay that way

Fuentes · Answer

Yup you don't have to act on it, i got a girl whose a friend whose "BI" claims she's likes gorls way more and has a lez fiance but like i know she wants to fuck me and i woudnt pass it up but like nah she my friend lol her Fiance don't even like me because she knows her girl like me and she's hella worried about me hahaha

Anonymous · Answer

Yup my best friend is a woman and I am super attracted to her and I’m like 90% sure she is attracted to me as well but we both know that we would fight all the time in a relationship so we never pursue anything, that being said I wouldn’t be surprised if we end up banging one time while we are drunk but I guess we will cross that bridge when we get to it

nothinq · Answer

I have a group of guy mates (6) I've known since i was 12 and only one caught feelings for me.. girls and guys CAN just be friends i view them as brothers and imagining doing anything romantic with any of them makes me feel sick

LesterJester · Answer

To the original question and the update, yes and yes. I've had more female friends over the years than male and all have been non-sexual, even ones where they or I felt some attraction. It all depends on the situation I suppose.

GuidoThePizzaMaker · Answer

I have a few lady friends who i love so dearly They are amazing women. We have remained friends for 5+ years now. I think so.

Passinggas · Answer

Yes, I have one ex that we had about a month fling and she wanted more and moved on. But I like her and one day she surprised me at the airport, came over from her gate and laid a bear hug (tight) and a kiss on me. I think it was friendly.

serious · Answer

Yes, they can stay friends. It's very much possible. For your update: In that case, then it is going to be a lot harder but if they are not attracted to one another then it is possible.

MissDawn7961 · Answer

they sure can but only if they are mature enough to do so ! Thanks

Thatsamazing · Answer

Yes but only if the male is in no way physically attracted to the female at all. If he is physically attracted to her, deep down he will always want to fuck her, and would, if circumstances were different.

And that isn't platonic friendship.

wankiam · Answer

its possible but there will always be sexual tension there

Haelaeix123 · Answer

Yes they can, just takes the right people in the right mindset

lifetime4u · Answer

Yes its possible not everyone is going to have the power to say I love you or I like you to their friend so it's possible.

Whocouldibe · Answer

Yes. Humans have connections with each other many not sexual in nature. This happens all the time it’s really common.

matchrestore · Answer

Absolutely. Some of my best friends are women and I have no romantic/sexual feelings for them at all.

Hurlyburly · Answer

Yes, of course. I like to believe that we evolved far enough as a species that both genders can interact with eachother without having sex in mind.

BadApple1 · Answer

Yes I do... but I am not saying sometimes friends might get intimate. That doesn’t have to change the friendship

PeacefulRainDrop · Answer

Yes I have plenty of guy friends I am just friends with.. friends with benefits do not work it ruins friendships in my experience!

Lliam · Answer

Yes, unless one is sexually attracted to the other, then, no. If both are sexually attracted to each other, then, yes.

Liam_Hayden · Answer

Most of the time if there is an attraction for one or both, no. The reason is that, if it is one, he or she will usually get frustrated at some point. If it is both, they will usually end up hooking up and destroying their current relationships.

Alice2398 · Answer

Sure if they are open and honest and dont let sexual tension get between them and laugh it off instead

upen007 · Answer

When i was 15 and she was 11. Every time she said that we are just friends. But on my birthday, she said she loves me.

donniepineda · Answer

Yes. Unless if they were in a relationship before and one of them cheated or too immature to be in a relationship.

elissa23Trans · Answer

Sure, why not? If I like a person I will gladly be friends whatever their gender is.

TacocaT6969 · Answer

Yes. 99% of my friends are guys. Been friends with some of them since kindergarten.

morimeme1 · Answer

Yep but not if there is sexual tension between them.

nhocloverock · Answer

Yes and no. They cannot if they are sexually attracted to each other.

amaranthblossom · Answer

I have lots of guy friends who aren't interested like that

Secret6620 · Answer

Absolutely. I have lots of guys friends. As long as boundaries are set it should run smooth. 🌺🌸

Miss_Savanna_Dry · Answer

Yes as long as there's no feelings or any sexual attraction between the two.

Lauren-green · Answer

Yes of course they can. I've stayed friends with guys who have wanted to be more than just friends

PrettyRegular · Answer

Of course. Just being opposite gender doesn't mean they will love each other.

MissKittyz · Answer

Could happen but it is extremely rare. Never worked with me so I don't know.

Jemini_Crocket · Answer

Very possible. You just have to set up some boundaries.

Any1iguess · Answer

They can but it is really rare. If your not gay or older then its very rare To just be friends

Harmseygrace · Answer

Yup. My best friend and I are defenitly just friends.

gorman24 · Answer

Yes it is friends with benefits. Problem only occurs once one gets a partner and then ties have to be cut unless you are into open relationships.

Giggletr0n · Answer

Yeah of course they can. A few sexualised comments will arise every now and that's just part of being human

Twalli · Answer

I am sexually attracted to a friend. We will remain as friends as long as I am dating my girlfriend. If I break up with her I may try to move to the next level.

-Asca- · Answer

Yes and yes. There's absolutely no reason why it should not be possible and I know countless examples including myself. The though than men and women can't stay just friends is ridiculous.

Xoirwinkan · Answer

I'd say... nnyeah. Probably not, given sexual attraction. I mean, even if they can, there will always be that tiny voice in his head screaming "FUCK HER UNTIL SHE SCREAMS DADDY!"

Piteka5 · Answer

Yes, my best friend is a girl. As for the update, yes I've seen that happen and has happened to me once. What I think is hard is to stay friends after you had a relationship

Anonymous · Answer

Yeah, my best friend is a girl that I’ve known since preschool, we’ve crushed on each other before but we’re beyond that and even make jokes about it and have pretty stable friendship

OwenArtist · Answer

Yes 100%, you just have to be that kinda guy, 75% of my friends are females, although my best friends are guys

Scarecrow13 · Answer

Yes they can be just friends. If they are sexually attracted they can act like friends but secretly want more.

thewitchbellatrix · Answer

Actually they can be just friends. But its something we dont see often. Because in these case they always atttacted to each other

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