Why does my boyfriend keep creeping on other girls' facebook pages?

Question

I am posting this here, for I am too embarrassed to admit to my friends that facebook has become a factor in my relationship.

My boyfriend and I have been dating for almost 2 yrs, and though no indiscretions, things do get rocky at times.

We are open with each other, and therefore, when I ask about the new "friends" whom pop up on his wall, he admits to requesting them...typically attractive females (though I am too) in little clothing.

I just hate the image of him searching these gals online (most of whom he has not seen for years) while I do not do the same to him...in fact, I normally ignore requests from the opp sex...

Is his facebook 'friendship' interest in hot chicks just a harmless act which I am over thinking, or should I be concerned that he is looking elsewhere?

onemoreplease · Accepted Answer

You know, the impact that Facebook has on romantic relationships is downplayed way too much, in my opinion. You said so yourself that you'd rather not even admit that you're bothered by something your boyfriend does on FB, and I feel the same way when I see something on there that upsets me. Most of the time I just won't bring it up because I'm afraid it will make me look silly.

But the thing is, it's not much different than if you were walking down the street with your boyfriend and he kept running up to attractive girls in skimpy clothing, basically whimpering for their attention, even though he barely knows them.

To you and me, that looks like blatant disrespect and it can even be infuriating. And even worse, it makes you wonder if he's actually that kind of guy- the kind of guy who will hit on other girls in front of his girlfriend. Despite the fact that FB "isn't real," it can bring up some very real concerns.

For what it's worth, my guy friends have told me that sometimes they do that sort of thing (adding a girl from high school they never actually spoke to just because she's hot now) because they would never approach her if they saw her in real life. It's like they can use Facebook to be the guy they imagine themselves to be- with a confident swagger and tons of hot girl friends. It's kind of pathetic and it may or may not make you feel better about your situation, but it does make a little sense.

Ultimately, this is just like everything else that goes on in relationships: only you can decide if that's something you can live with (even if you don't like it) or if you need to draw the line because it's really bringing you down.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

I am actually in a similar situation.  Only I looked in my boyfriend's history and saw he was creeping on other girls pages he doesn't even know. Might I add these girls were mostly clad in bikinis.  I can't tell you how much this hurt my feelings, because not only did he look at them once, but went back.  There were at least 6-8 girls.  I have been telling him that I don't think he would physically cheat, but I don't trust him on Facebook. He blew it off of course, yet I find that on his laptop.  I tried to look at it as, yes guys are going to check other girls out, I am not denying that, but I guess it's worse with Facebook because there is potential that he could be messaging them behind my back. Whereas if guys just check other girls out in public, it's not a big deal cause nothing will probably come out of that.  I wish I could tell you what to do, but I don't even know what I am going to do myself.  I think Facebook has come between many relationships.  He and I have been together 3 years too.  I hope we both can figure something out.

MidSummerNightDream · Accepted Answer

I would cut him some slack and look at it in perspective. Perhaps you don't actively seek out people of the opposite sex, but can you honestly say that you've never looked through the photo albums of some of your male friends? The simple matter of fact is that even if you are his girlfriend, he is still going to be attracted to other women! Maybe you don't check out guys in front of him, or act to obvious about it, but can you say that you haven't found another man attractive since you've been dating? If it bothers you, you should talk to him about it. Tell him it embarasses and that you wish he would be more discreet in his flirting or checking other girls out. Maybe even ask him not to seek out other girls, and that he should only add him if they add him first. However, it is unfair of you to expect him to have tunnel vision and to never look at another girl never again. Especially when you're not expected to follow the same rules. Remember, looking at some one else doesn't mean that he likes you any less!

ThickRick · Accepted Answer

Did you vote on this question? I thought it's totally relevant to your situation as well, you might have some awesome input. Check it out! I'm about to add a response as well.

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My advice is don't let Facebook tear your relationship apart. He likes pretty girls, so what? That's like a guy watching p*rn. He's not in love with them, it's just for leisure. At the end of the night he loves YOU.

xoxokaya · Answer

I'm having the exact same problem with my partner and I've been trying to turn a blind eye to it. Truth is I AM SICK OF IT.

What really annoys me is that the girls he stalks are girls he doesn't even know and it's always the same few. Like he's hoping for a pick up or something. He doesn't know this but I feel sick when he does stuff like that. Worst part is we were planing on getting married, how can we get married when he's like that?

I know I should trust more and I probably should talk about it to him, but what's the point when I know he's just gonna delete his history, lie and tell me he didn't do it or "I don't know they added me" and make me look like a crazy bitch.

Please tell me someone knows how to deal with this. I can't deal with this any longer

Anonymous · Answer

This message will not comfort, I am sorry. But it's more of a warning coming from personal experience. Same thing happened to me. Not so much the adding to the friends list, but with girls we both knew, and some only he did, even some he wanted to get with in the past and whor efused him. Turns out, not only did he 'look', he actually was jerking off to those pictures. I'm not saying your boyfriend is doing the same, just pay attention,.

firstlast · Answer

Happens all the time.

AlbinoBunny · Answer

Why can he add people he knows? lol

greenman22 · Answer

Hes a creep

Anonymous · Answer

Does he know them?

Why does my boyfriend keep creeping on other girls' facebook pages?

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