Boyfriend is a creep on Facebook?

[Anonymous]

My boyfriend likes so many girls photos on Facebook. Pictures of them just smiling which isn't bad at all. But then he also likes the pictures that they put up in little suspenders and a bra or a pic of them posing sexy in bikinis. Like he likes around 3-5 girls photos a day. It just always comes up on my newsfeed. And he likes photos of girls that they added months ago which looks like he went and creeped all their profile pictures. He liked 10 pictures in a row of this girls profile pictures. I don't know why this bothers me. It just makes me question if he's messaging them after. I like the occasional guys photo, but not like that many. Just find it annoying to go on Facebook now. And I don't want to talk to him about it. But is this like normal for boyfriends?

[Anonymous]

I don't know about whether it's normal or not, but the way I see it, is that he's just appreciating pretty girls. I have been with my girlfriend for a while, and I still occasionally check out the /s/ boards or GW, just out of curiosity. But there's no real lust behind what I do. I'm not even jerking off to these pictures. I'm just casually browsing. If someone is pretty, I give them a 1up. That's about the end of it.

Occasionally I check out these pictures of girls on Facebook when they're linked to me, and I might check out an album or two, and same deal. If they're pretty, I give them a 1up. Again no lust. No jerking off or anything, I'm just appreciating a girl's attractiveness. I am not a cheat, and my girlfriend knows I look at this stuff from time to time, she gets it. Which I'm glad. Because I totally get why someone might get jealous. Still, if she did the same thing I'd trust it would be innocent enough.

I think what I'm getting at is, I think all he's doing is admiring or appreciating what he thinks is pretty. If he starts hitting on these girls, or jerking off to them, then you might have a problem.

If you ever want to talk to him about it (and I know you said that right now, you don't) I would advise just finding a time to sit him down and talk about it, or maybe talk about it as he's doing it. In person would probably be ideal.

When you talk about it, say it with concern, but don't bury your feelings too much. Let him know if it angers you, but keep it calm, so you don't turn it into a screaming match. Adrenaline can literally make conversations impossible, because studies show adrenaline can blind someone to the reason to listen. Neither of you want to say something you regret.

But anyway, when you talk to him, try showing you're concerned as well, and ask him why he does this, and what it means to him. Tell him he doesn't need to be defensive, because you're really just trying to understand. If you go about it this way, you may even be able get some reassurance on this.

So that's my thoughts on this, including some ideas on how to handle it, if you ever decide to do it. In the meantime, I hope my thoughts on it were something resembling insightful. Best of luck on this.

[Asker]

I just feel uncomfortable about the slutty pictures. And I have guy friends liking my pictures I get that and whatever its in a friend way. But one guy has like every picture I have ever put up and he was the same guy that would always message me and be creepy and ask me to come to his place and stuff. So I also know it from a girls side.

[Opinion Owner]

Well see now that's different. That's a guy who's not your boyfriend being a creep. Is your boyfriend messaging these girls the same way?

I also know this about the "slutty" pictures. The majority of the time, the person posting them is posting them for attention. Now, I'm not saying they're posting it to get hit on, or get all variety of creepers to come out of the woodwork, saying god knows what, but they ARE doing it for some kind of attention. Usually based on some kind of low self esteem.

[madhatters4]

I do not do this. I doubt most men do this. You should probably communicate your feelings with him. In a productive, calm, not angry way you should tell him that you don't understand what he's doing and why he's doing it. It would be one thing if they were new pictures posted btu the fact that he is liking pictures that are months old it is clear that he is cycling through pics and it is strange. You should just communicate with him how you feel and try to figure out what he's doing

[Anonymous]

Guys are always lusting for other females and wishing that they could be single and mate with said females. Girlfriends are kind of resented when they are in this mood. Usually, they come around when they're not feeling the need to spread their seed and feel happy about the relationship again. No matter what you say, he's going to become defensive, which, for men, usually means he'll get angry and blame you for feeling the wrong way. If he's cheating, you'll figure it out soon enough.

[madhatters4]

"guys are always"...that's where I stop reading since it shouldn't be so generalized. Some guys and some girls are always lusting for others

[Opinion Owner]

Expecting a guy to be a female with male body parts is unrealistic and where many females become disappointed.

[Theguyoverthere]

I notice similar behavior when I am with other guys. Typical stuff like a girl walking somewhere and they get all ridiculously horny about it. It makes me wonder just how crappy their married sex life really is. I recall one guy I was talking to at lunch and he was an old creeper saying "This is a good place to pick up chicks" yet he has a girlfriend...

Some guys just don't mature. That's all there really is to it.

[PhilaPenn]

So you are Facebook stalking your boyfriend? That's kind of creepy in and of itself.

[Asker]

looking at my newsfeed is stalking? kk

[Gone_But_Not_Lost]

I disagree. Just reading the newsfeed is not stalking.

[PhilaPenn]

This is why I don't believe in being FB friends with someone you are dating. Nothing good can come of it, and it encourages neurotic behavior. You probably weren't setting out to stalk or trip out or anything, but something as innocent as liking a picture has cause a whole flood of questions

[Asker]

It wouldn't be a problem if he wasn't doing anything weird on it. "liking a picture"- no that would not be a problem at all. Excessive liking of girls pictures = problem

[PhilaPenn]

So basically, he's not allowed to find women other than you attractive? It's liking a picture. Who cares if he likes 1000 pics. As long as he's not crossing the line, as in leaving sleazy comments on the pics etc you are making a mountain out of a molehill. This is classic female insecurity turning into neurotic behavior, which usually turns into sabotaging the relationship. Pick your battles, because this is the kind of behavior guys really get tired of over time.

[Asker]

Did I say I was nagging about it to him... no? I'm asking if other guys do this. If the situation was turned around he would have a problem. He got mad when my phone back ground was ryan gosling lol. I'm not sabotaging the relationship- don't be so quick to judge.

[PhilaPenn]

Take my advice or don't. That's up to you. I think that he should be able to like as many pictures of pretty women as he wants. As longs as he's not actually flirting with them or sleeping with them, there's nothing wrong. You should be able to have a Ryan Gosling background on your phone too. That's weird that he got pissed over that. The fact that you're thinking this much about him liking some random pics is a precursor of nagging. It's only a matter of time lol.

[Asker]

ya your right. there are bigger issues than this in the relationship. I just thought it was kind of creepy behavior .

[at_first_sight]

it does sound a little like you think he's not supposed to find other women attractive. If that's hwo it is,then that is pretty stupid.

[Calixx]

I think it’s normal to find others attractive. But, this behavior is a little disrespectful. I wouldn’t be doing this when I have a partner.