Hi all, I'm sorry in advance for a long post. I'm sharing the house with 3 people ( I don't know them n they're from same country). When they first moved in I made it clear keep voice down after 3 A. M, here we don't share anything. However they keep on eating my food, bringing strangers to the house without notice in advance, partying untill 3-4. Our apartment just lost some stuffs a week ago. Last night they partied again without notice, one of their new friend just entered my room without knocking n when I asked who's there he just runs away laughing with his friends (I have my lights off). I caught him red handed n asking for an apology. Suprisingly he was like what's the fuck is wrong with me? I literally have a verbal fight with him n his cocky attitude just drives me so mad. One of my Flatmate even try to enter other people room when they're not home in front of my eyes. What if they try to enter my room when I'm not home aswell? I feel very unsafe in my own house. I think I have culture shock, I thought if you respect others they will respect you back but no it's not. I've lived with German, Spanish, Chinese, lots of people but never had any problems, they all very respected personal space n rules. PLEASE GIVE ME SOME ADVICES HOW TO DEAL WITH THEM. P. S: I can't move out yet because I live in Madrid n I'm currently changing my residency card so the government will send legal notice to aprt. THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR READING MY POST. ANYTHING IS APPRECIATED
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UPDATE: Hi everyone, after reading everyone suggestions, I called my landlord, put my food in my room, lock the door everytime, talk to them, tell the most problematic person to move out, I tried what you guys suggested n it works. The most problematic one will move out this weekend. Thank you so much for helping me out n tell me what should to do on solving problems in life. I really appreciate all the time you spent on helping me.
I live in Madrid, and I understand your situation, but even on these cases you can change your room. I would like to talk on private if you let me do like that. If not, the only thing you must know is that to change your room is the only thing you can do because the situation of your room isn't clear, to begin with, why if he invaded your territory asked for an apology? May be it wasn't your room at all. Let me say this... Are you sure the owner of the room is really you? May be the person who rented you your room wasn't allowed to do it.
I signed contract directly with the owner of the house, it’s not like he rent from someone and sublease to other, he bought that house and rent the room to different people. I signed the contract and stayed there 4 months before they moved in and all of us signed contract with him, so there is no way Im not sure about my own room. The one entered my room is new friend from one of the flatmate and I dont even know who they invited , not a single notice and they are drunk as fuck. I literally can call police over for property invasion and he’s drunk. I wish they just move the fuck out as soon as their contract end. Hey thanks you so much for your advice and your English is very good by the way, I remember my Spanish friends dont really speak good Spanish girls.
Then let them clear that next time they do something like that you will call the police, and if the police doesn't make nothing good, you will enter to their rooms as they do with yours. A good Keychain may be a good solution to it. And why they don't respect you, it's because after it you haven't done anything, so they guessed that they could.
In student housing you could contact the RA, but if you're not in student housing the only option is move out tbh. That's not normal behavior, your roommates sound like entitled fuck heads.
If that was me in that situation I'd be fucking with them. I'd put laxatives in food I know I wouldn't eat and leave it in the fridge for someone else to eat.
Hahah that's very good , I wish I can do it too but they're like 23-24 years old, the only thing I can do is to talk to the landlord n ignore them. I'm tired of trying hard. Thanks for your sharing, that method makes me feel very satisfying though 😃
If you try to deal with toxic people, you can be a toxic person. This will harm you. You will not deal with them. Someone else has to deal with them. You can tell the situation to one of them. Maybe their family, police, the owner of the house, real estate agent, neighbors...
I contacted my landlord and he came over with a security guy from his company I asked him to talk to them because I have enough. Thank you for your advice, it’s actually what Im doing right now.
Put a lock on your door, buy a mini fridge and keep all your stuff in your room. Call in noise complaints about their late night parties (sorry, I'm American. I don't know if the police respond to those such things there lol). And keep mace in your room for late night "visitors". They'll get the message soon enough
Im gathering most of the stuff that I can put in my room and lock my door even when Im at house now. Thanks for your advice, I have shared house a lot and i have never once though I need to put everything in my room and feel so insecure in my own house.
My home will start to feel more like "home " after 3 months without party, without people talking my stuffs, without lots of strange at night. I appreciate your help 👍
Blocking them is a good step, also not allowing anonymous to post on your questions help too.
In real life there isn't much you can do aside from ignore them, unless it becomes harassment, then you have every right to file a report at your local police station.
I really just want a peaceful life n I don't want to make thing so serious but I guess ignoring them might work , I'm tired of trying do hard n people take me n my stuff for granted. Thanks so much for your sharing.
First I wouldn't put anymore food in the house only buy what your going to eat right then. Second if you've got a cell phone low key call the police and tell them anonymous call about a party desturbing the piece the law starts coming around they will stop wanting to party there
Sounds like a fucked up situation i do like the lock on the door and mini fridge idea Dork Vader had knowing myself i probably would've beat the shit out of each one individually but that may not be an option for you so you can either learn to ignore them or beat them at their own game and make them feel very uncomfortable after all it is your house
Thanks so much for your sharing, I do gather my stuff to my room this morning n lock my door when I back home. I'll learn to ignore and don't give a fuck about them as much as I can.
Wait it out until you can move out, then go into their room when they're not there and set some shit on fire... Or throw it in the trash, in a big garbage bag. Fuck those assholes.
Hahah that sounds very satisfying to me 😁😁, I wish I can do that too like put trash in their room but I know how crazy they are, they even threaten to call police on my landlord. Thank you for your suggestion.
I had a lot of toxic people at my previous workplace.. all of them used to talk shit behind one another. I would suggest you just ignore them as people have suggested
OMG it’s true , they really talked about people back just 2 days after they moved in like that girl was so fake etc but then they would call that people out to party with, I was like WTF. I sure will stay away and ignore them, why do I even think that I can deal with them from the beginning. Thank you so much for your sharing.
Depends how petty you get. Start buying enough food for one night for yourself. Put a deadbolt on your bedroom door and tell him if you find your stuff missing again you're pressing charges.
Thanks for your advice, the guy actually didn't eat my food n drinking without but those 2 girls did. I'll make sure ask them to pay next time I caught my food missing.
Yes, that was my stupid mistake, because I have never actually gotten into the situation when people enter my room without knocking or asking, my parents n people I used to share house with literally knocking the door n wait so I was so stupid thinking I don't really need to lock my door when I'm inside my room. I'm locking it now even when I'm inside
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