Most efficient way to deal with a toxic person?

[LazerBean]

Toxic person: someone who creates drama and arguments frequently and for no reason, treats others poorly, uses others for their own gain, is manipulative, is conceited, and justifes their bad behavior whenever confronted. In your opinion, what is the most effective and mature way to deal with such people and their negative impacts on your own life?

Put up with them quietly

Confront them again and again, even though the outcome is always the same

Try to help them by being kind

Cut them out of your life

[NathanDavis]

most efficient way, you asked...

so I went with D... to put a full stop to it, cutting ties works the best... otherwise, there are very high chances of one becoming stuck with such toxic person, and we would be the ones wearing ourselves out for them, and then they might not even be able or just not want to appreciate any of it because well... they're toxic

whether is cutting them off right away, or after a couple of tries... I do think this is the most efficient way to deal with these things... just DON'T deal with them if you can actually afford that option, because it is also true that some times that's just not a clear option, or it is also the most difficult option to go with

[ChefPapiChulo]

True…

[strateguy632]

@ChefPapiChulo i am jealous you wrote true, but when i wrote true admins deleted my "nonsense" i wish they would stop nitpicking me. sigh.

[Sandeeppingping]

In my personal experience the only possible solution is for you to care about yourself first and foremost and leave that person out of your life, manipulative liars and when caught acts like they're the good ones? Seriously what kind of "friend" is that, that's an enemy, what's in it for you staying close to that person besides potential betrayal with you basically having to be cautious and fully aware 100% of the time

[LazerBean]

Very well put. In a particularly bad case where I got rid of someone from my life for being toxic but others continued to try to help, two of those people are now even years later still having to worry about being blackmailed.

[Sandeeppingping]

I mean that's the typical tragic story, bad things happens to the people that least deserve it, but that's on them (even if they're your friends, I don't mean to be rude) when you think about it, the other person's too smart and arrogant for them to act nice and naive, but you did the right thing, are you still involved in any of it? And I won't ask what they're blackmailed with but is there any way out of it?

[LazerBean]

I agree. For both guys she actually did follow through with her "blackmail" when the two guys finally had enough and. One guy she has bosses and college headmasters to try to get him in trouble. It's never mounted to anything, but like I said it's 4 years later and she's still contacting people wherever he goes to try to get him in trouble for it. She told the other guys boss about it (he was interning at a church) but his boss didn't care. But he knows that she's been trying continually to get the other guy in trouble so now that he's moved off and gotten a long-term job he still has to worry about her trying to stir up trouble there as well.

[Dana223]

Normally "Cut them out of your life", if you can. In cases when you can't (e g family member) then I would go fight for my right (unless they can be explained with kind words, which is not normally the definition of a toxic person. Because those who are willing to actually listen and not just talk trash and exaggerate, are not toxic in the first place). I would NEVER put up with such a person and hence put myself in a lower position.

[Dana223]

PS. because in my opinion by putting up with them would acknowledge their truth, which effectively feeds their ego and worsens the situation on the long run

[Sour-rose]

If it's family, it's a bit more tough. But if it's not family, I'd TRY to get them to see the errors of their ways. They can't change? Fuk it, i got better shi to do and people to see

[ohsheeT]

You can only put up with for a little bit of time look at everyone in the world we all have a story or something going on in life. If you look at people who always have drama. Or always judging people are talking crap about people or there opinions are the only right one. Or there ignorant about life itself

these are people who are always sticking there nose in other people business they're usually unhappy they're usually don't like themselves and they're in this world cause chaos

For me I found if I have none of the above in my life everything is better I'm happier I'm more free of stress and I can be myself I'm more free not angry or un happy

Just think where the world would be at this moment if people didn't have to deal with people like this

[CA4444]

It’s so simple if you want positivity in your life and be constructive you have to cut off negativity as much as possible, I was listening to an interview of a hugely successful CEO she was always laying off negative people with no other reason than for the well-being of the company, negative people are blood suckers and I’m not saying you have to cut them off for life but as long as they are negative

[bzcxx]

Cut them out of my life. No point keeping friendships that no longer serve me.
As iron sharpens iron, so one friend sharpens another. If he/she is not pushing me to be the very best version of myself, at least don’t pull me down and negatively influence me.
Most efficient way is to cut contact immediately - no bullshit and no time wasted.

[Alwayreckles93]

Girl I just cut them off. It can even be your own family members. Everyone deserve to be respected and welcome. No need to have to put up with such horrible behavior. Just cut them off.

[LazerBean]

Absolutely the truth

[BUTIMRIGHTTHO]

@LazerBean The easiest way is to cut them out. The best way to deal (key word deal) with toxic people is to treat them kind. Don't try to help them, just treat them kind. You're attempt to be conditionally kind will detach you from the toxicity of the matter. And you will truly feel like a good person and it is addictive.

[LazerBean]

I did that for years. And no, looking back on it, being kind to someone who eventually blackmailed several people who were trying to help her and alienated everyone else by saying that everyone in the county (literally) is an untrustworthy backstabber has given me absolutely zero pleasure throughout the years.

[BUTIMRIGHTTHO]

I see. I probably would feel the same way but let me clear up what I mean. I had a typo in my comment. Once again, unconditional kindness not conditional kindness. Conditional kindness leads to what you just spoke of; zero pleasure because you are letting the mean person control your reactions. Basic law of cause and effect. Unconditional kindness is weightless. Unconditional kindness makes one proud infinitely because it is not based on what anyone else does but ourselves. If you find no pleasure in it, it is because you either don't love the idea or have conditional kindness dependent on another.

Also, it's best not to try to help others who are lost unless they want it and even then they have to prove it with their actions. Also, "key word deal" meaning if you have to deal with them. If you don't have to deal them the best thing is to cut them out of your life. Which is what u said. It is insane to deal with a person who you don't have to and who will most likely never change. Don't try to help people who don't ask for it and if they ask for it, test their actions. One can say yes I am ready intellectually but that doesn't mean they are ready emotionally. When one tries to change themselves they realize this over and over.

@Imsmurter1 His advice, "make their life as difficult as you can" You would not agree with, correct? @LazerBean I doubt you would and so you must understand that he is literally on the same side as you. Conditional givers and takers. Being kind is not (yes not) the good thing to do. That isn't why you should do it. You do it because it protects you from the condition. That is the wisdom in it. To be who you want to be regardless of conditions. It is totally freedom. And in doing so one lives in God. Enthused.
I clearly need to work on cutting off the fluff from my comments. Too repetitive.

[LazerBean]

Doeing things for the sole purpose of making yourself feel good is stupid and juvenile.

Making someone's life as miserable as possible is not the same thing as removing them from your life.

If you are going to use basic cause and effect as an argument, then rewarding someone's bad behavior with kindness is going to reinforce more bad behavior. Like giving a dog a treat whenever they pee on your carpet. No good.

If you're going to get biblical, the Bible says not to associate with any person who claims to be a Christian but is immoral person, or covetous, or an idolater, or a reviler, or a drunkard, or a swindler. It says don't even sit next to a person like that. So that's a pretty direct command to cut off all toxic people who claim to be Christians, which doesn't sound very kind.

[Exterminatore]

This is a topic near and dear to my heart. I believe what you are describing is a narcissist.


Society is full of these people now which I find abhorrent and disgusting.



These people only respect strength. If putting them in their place in a dominating way is not an option cutting them out of your life and leaving them in their own little demented world is the only effective option.

[Blackcupcake]

ignore them… silence is powerful. the more you react, the more you feed the “satisfaction” they get from their toxic behaviour. so just ignore and they’ll learn that, it won’t have an effect.

[ZenJen444]

I've dealt with someone like that she lives in my neighborhood. She started out as nice so I gave her my number. But once that happened omg found out how toxic she was. I've limit conversation with her and distance myself. I dont call or text her she reached out to me. I respond with 3 text after that I go back to no contact

[ZenJen444]

I picked cut them out. I give enough room so that I don't have drama where I lay yet don't bother with her

[Onashir]

What did she do?

[ZenJen444]

She's just a negative person, doesn't think before she speaks and insensitive

[Onashir]

How old is she? is she Insecure about her looks

[ZenJen444]

She's much older. It's funny you ask because that's the first thing I thought about.

[Onashir]

You never met in person!
So she is old and not so attractive!

[ZenJen444]

She's that old I'd say she's about maybe 43. Her appearance isn't very bad. She just seems bitter and I don't know I just rather not deal with her

[Rockstarrrrr]

If it's someone you know, cut them out... If it's someone you see ignore them or you can have fun and beat them in their own game

[Alex8736]

Cut all ties. Block their number, social media etc. People like that never change and history always repeats itself

[LavLavLuv]

Depends on how toxic they are to me, sometimes i do B for fun and then when i’m done with them i do D

[JaxiCats]

Omg my grandma has been described that’s bullshit

[LazerBean]

Oh dang 😅

[elizamichale1]

I think being kind with them can be helpful eventually but gosh the patience it will take

[misfittoy]

cut them out they do not change

[Onashir]

Depending if she is a dime you put up with to get in her pants then maybe you can show her how to be hot and nice

[WhitneySnow]

Block them and avoid them irl

[AddylynnNightingale]

Cut. Out. Swat it away like it's a wasp.

[MiamiMadness]

Definitely Definitely D

[Jennz6]

Help if you can?

[LazerBean]

How long do you continue to do that when they continue to insist that everyone else is at fault rather than them?

[Jennz6]

Good question, I DK

[Dana223]

I'd tell them that it is THEIR fault if you think you. Regardless they think it otherwise, I would insist on my opinion and tell them that there's nothing more you can do. Draw your line, where is the "border".

[Deserter]

I don't know, how do you deal with yourself?

[LazerBean]

Oopsie the daddy comment must have hit too close to home

[Deserter]

My father is in the army, far from home, I miss my papa