Would you rather adopt children or have your own, and why?

Question

Conceiving your own children is probably preferable - the bonding can start at conception and from that time you share family history and relatives, they will inherit some of the looks and talents of their parents, which is nice … but also they may not.

Adopting a child can be the same but different. They inherit nothing physically but it’s amazing what they can pick up from you - habits, mannerisms, tastes etc.
　　　

Whichever way you choose to make your family you have the opportunity to have a positive and productive influence on a child. Living with you will influence the way they handle their own family and children one day. Your encouragement and support will guide them into their life’s work and interests?

broken_heart_at_48 · Accepted Answer

Plus you don't know what you're getting when adopting all the time. I mean you could get a child that has severe behavior problems it could be something that's in there DNA. Granted there's no guarantee with your own kid trust me I know my second to youngest was from a girl I used to mess with and my daughter had issues her whole life. But no sense in taking a bigger chance unless you have no other options or you just have a heart for helping troubled kids and I don't mean all adopted kids are going to have problems but I know most are needing adopted because of unfortunate circumstances that can be upsetting to a kid and cause them to act out. I mean my daughter never knew me and her mother to be together and she knew she was constantly in and out of prison and still would tell you if you asked that she was going to make me and my wife the only real mom she knew she was gonna make us divorce thinking I would go be with her mom. She did have any mental issues other than what her grandmother put in her head. She beat several behavioral hospitals because they couldn't handle her and when she turned 15 I told her that was it she wasn't going to any more hospitals she was either going to juvenile hall or she could live under a bridge because we didn't deserve this from her. And she was perfect from that day on until she moved out about a month after she turned 18. So the point is there weren't any issues that she didn't choose to have. She always said I was fair even to her therapist she always said I was fair that didn't matter she was gonna make me divorce my wife we raised her since she was 1.5 years old. So I can only imagine what a pissed off kid that doesn't have any blood relations with you could do. I had to have alarms on the bedroom doors to keep my other kids safe at night. And all I did was step up and be a dad she got everything she wanted except for her birth mom and was never abused at least not once she lived in my house except for the grandmothers mental abuse making my daughter feel guilty if she excepted me being married to my wife

Ayer93 · Accepted Answer

Honestly I used to feel that if I had kids they would only be biological. There's just some primitive desire in me that wants to continue my bloodline and that my kid has my genetics and that I would leave a legacy behind when I die. However, my girlfriend had an incident recently when she tried to donate her eggs. They told her that she has too low an egg count to donate and hee chances of having kids of her own was very low and getting lower. It was devastating to her and obviously I supported her emotionally as best as I could. It forced me to get used to the idea that if I did have kids that I would probably adopt. And I've actually gotten very used to the idea in my head. I'd still be instilling my values in my kids and I'd still leave a legacy behind. Just because a kid shares your genetics doesn't mean they'll think the same as you anyways. It's also a good thing to do for society. There are lots of kids that are orphaned and need a home and family. We have a problem of overpopulation already. Why not try to lessen the problem a little?

SueShe · Accepted Answer

I am a non believer of having my own children because that would mean that I need to be sexual and that thought alone is a horror scenario.

I am not planning to have any children but if I my life depended on this decision, then obviously, I would adopt rather than have my own children.

I am sure that there are 16 or 17 year old children that still need adoptive parents and not only newborn or toddlers.

There is enough unhappy children in this world without needing to have to produce more that in turn will also be unhappy. Give a home to those that don't have one rather than perhaps put your own in home because they are unwanted or for another trivial reason.

leahzrc · Accepted Answer

If I decide to have kids, I would adopt. I dont want to ruin my body just so I could have a kid with the same genetics as me. I don't care to pass on the family blood or anything. Also there are many kids who have been abandoned or have been in a bad situation and I don't think any person should have to go through life waiting for someone to accept them. Those kids need the most love because they didn't even get a chance at it. I would adopt a child who is older so maybe like 5 to 10 years old because they have been living alone for long enough and it hurts to feel like you dont matter

jgokgotit · Answer

Both. First I would have my own children for the sake of passing down my bloodline. I would prefer to have 1-2 biological children, boy and girl. After that, I want to adopt. No point in bringing more kids into the world until ALL children in existence have a family.

ElissaDido · Answer

I want my own children because I find the idea highly romantic.
Bearing a child from the man you love is pretty much the materialization of your love.I'd love to carry the seed of my soulmate and nurture the union of our seeds for 9 months until it creates life; A little human being that is a mixture of me and the love of my life.

VIVANT · Answer

ADOPT

1. So many kids need a home already.

2. There is ZERO that I am interested in, about getting pregnant. Being pregnant. Pushing a gigantic ball of slime out of a tiny hole with drs and nurses all up in my hoo ha. Never going to happen.

BeautifulMind59 · Answer

Despite the biological fact that most animals want to put their resources into propagating their own genes rather than someone else's, in order to satisfy my nurturing instincts, I would rather adopt because of all of this Autism that's on the rise. Having a healthy kid these days is a real gamble. 1 in 59 has Autism. That's a lot!

morganma · Answer

Having your own children would always be first choice but sometimes things happen were some couples can't conceive or have children, so adopting would be the way for them everyone had their own thoughts and feelings hell I've considered both with me being on the plus side of things

ILoveAnime · Answer

I want to adopt. I'm downright terrified of the idea of pregnancy and probably wouldn't react well to the news. I probably would abort. I also don't really like babies or toddlers. Maybe for like 15 minutes and then I'm ready to rip my hair out. After, even if I'm good with kids that doesn't mean I really like them. And then there are so many children that need love and a home.

bubbles328 · Answer

I have my own and I carried them and see me in them. Now I have my own I would adopt just to give a child a good life but I don't have space at the moment. I'd also adopt an older one as babies aren't my thing and the older ones find it harder to get adopted.

Wemix · Answer

I'd rather have my own. A mix of the love of my life and myself slowly forming inside of me then coming into this world and growing under my eyes with our traits and their own getting more and more distinct is very comforting to me...
I don't think I'm someone who would be able to bond with an adopted child.

SjE78 · Answer

I would happily have both...
have 3 already, am open to more... and if i got the chance to adopt then I believe that it would be the right thing to do, give a child/children the chance to have a family and a place to call home... with parents who will love them like their own

fdietzman · Answer

Have my own. The bond is truly amazing and is such a wonderful sight to see. You know more about your own than you would if you adopt a child. But, even though me and my husband have twin girls, we do plan on adopting to help a child out to a great, loving family.

LEETSBEREAL · Answer

Yh I don't see the need to have any kids when so many need a home. The older ones get left behind I 'm happy to take an older one. Even when I was growing up I wanted to adopt set up a court room and every thing. I won custody of course although I know it won't be that easy in real life.

ShadowofRegret · Answer

I would have to say biological, not saying I couldn't have adopted children, but there is something that kind of special about having a biological child that shares both, your and your beloved's genetic traits that just seems very intimate.

Also, your post is very elegantly written.

just_a_potato · Answer

I want my own children for two reasons:
I wanna go through the journey of pregnancy like all my family has, I also like thinking a part of me will live on

On that note I heard of so many stories in which adopted kids went off to find their "real" parents and forget about the people who raised them in the first place.

Redeemer26 · Answer

Both cause I was practically adopted by my dad and even though he never showed it properly he loves me and I feel that every kid adopted or not should be loved just the same and it honestly makes me mad when someone just gives up a child out of fear.

cooldude64 · Answer

Prefer to adopt as i have schizophrenia in my genetics, which has been inherited by my father, brother and also me. So its a strong genetic hereditary gene. So in order to stop that trait coming up adoption seems most logical.

Jsmithy7427 · Answer

Adopt, if they do well I can say “I raised that kid”, if they do badly I can say “well it’s not really MY kid.”

bamesjond0069 · Answer

Adoption is not the equivalent or an alternative to having biological kids. They are two completely different things. I want my own biological kids. I don't believe in adoption. If there was a family member kid needed caring for id gladly take them in but its not going to count towards the amount of kids i want to have.

SeaSprayBreeze · Answer

Adopt, if I had to do one of the options. Otherwise neither.
- I don't have much, if any desire to have my own child.
- There are already heaps of people in the world.
- The child is just going to end up dying eventually, and will most likely go to hell. What's the point in that. You aren't doing the life you bring into the world any favours by birthing it.

askanythingbidude · Answer

I have to say adopt. My genetics are messed up. I. e ibs, depression, anxiety, factor 5 which I will pass on to my kids it's a blood clotting disorder and so many other wouldn't want my kids to go through what I'm going through

AlienParasite · Answer

I like the idea of adoption, but I also like the idea of biological kids. Depending on what age I'm able to have a kid at my care I would choose one over the other, beign preferable to have my own biological kid and experience pregnancy.

Anoniemus · Answer

Adopt. I'm not having children and I really hope he's sterile because it's not happening either way. There are too many stupid people having children now and there are many children that are unwanted which need to be cared for.

ecfresh · Answer

Have my own because the rest of my family had their own going back multiple generations and I want all those experiences as well as wanting to teach them about their ancestors

Sonorous · Answer

I'd rather adopt. There are enough babies being made already.

Dongtai · Answer

Well with this midget epidemic and people pretending to be toddlers, I think I’ll go the traditional route. Use adoption as my plan b 😂

Hannah_98 · Answer

Adopt. Why bring more kids into this world when there are plenty already searching?  Plus, I don’t want to go through a pregnancy and giving birth. No thank you.

madgoat · Answer

Although a nurturing instinct exists can benefit both adoptive children and biological, most animals want to put their resources into propagating their own genes rather than someone else's.

EmbraceThePain · Answer

I’d rather have my own, but if life happens to prevent me from somehow having my own for whatever reason then I’m very open to adoption.

soccergurlxoxo1 · Answer

i’ve always loved the idea of adopting a child, but i honestly think i rather have my own.

i wanna be able to experience the journey of pregnancy and form a bond. they’ll be my own flesh and blood.

Darcia · Answer

I would like to do both. I want to have children and adopt. I would like to adopt babies opposed to grown children.

S3npai_Woifi · Answer

Adopt because in my genes there's a lot of things like cancer and shit and I don't want my kid to get that, and also because an orphan can't blame you for putting you in this piece of shit world

ghostqueen · Answer

I've got too many health issues I'd be devastated to pass on to another person so adoption would be the only option.

PondyPand · Answer

Well I conceived on my birth control and honestly want nothing more to do with kids but if I had to I'd adopt.

EmmaMary · Answer

Well as I'm just about to give birth at the end of this month, I think that probably answers your question.

HikerDude · Answer

I want my own children. I admire those who adopt, but I really want to carry on my bloodlines no matter what.

PetrovaFire92 · Answer

I wanna have my own baby 🤗♥️ just cause I want a child of my own, that came from me. Blood of my blood.

zagor · Answer

I would only adopt if it was something like a the child of a close friend or relative who died in a crash or something.

ThatGuy133 · Answer

I'd adopt. There are tons of kids out there that need a good home.

sp33d · Answer

Have my own for when they screw up I always have the excuse that they're my children and they're going to be at most as good as I was. There's no copping out with adopted kids.

Justneedtokno · Answer

I would like to have my own child. I have nothing against adoption and maybe my third child would be there or if I didn’t have the option. To have the child on my own

perislav85 · Answer

I would like my own biological child. Only if I, hypothetically, couldn't be a biological parent or my girlfriend couldn't, I'll be, with no doubt, adopted child or children.

soleil2666 · Answer

Adopting children does encourage irresponsible people to have them. I'm not against, just saying I'd prefer my own little self pottering around in all of the cuteness I know that can be.

R_ūshī · Answer

None but I prefer adoption, for many reasons that I'm too lazy to type rn.😂

sboy0818 · Answer

I do not have a wife, but, if I did I'd like to have our own. Adopting wouldn't be bad either, love the kid the same. Hope you are doing well Yuki

Drumlin2001 · Answer

Just had one, 5 weeks old, we're talking bout having another one in time. I've always been tempted to adopt, but would need to work for whole family

R_Cakes91 · Answer

I want to adopt because we have enough humans on the planet now. We don’t need anymore people

Sweetnessxoxo · Answer

I never thought about this. But i think i would love both regardless

clampfan101 · Answer

Biological is my primary want, but adoption in addition sounds fine. Adoption only isn’t out of the question, but would be terribly disappointing. (Although much much better than none.)

BlckGrl · Answer

I rather have my own but who knows maybe one day. I also want to be a surrogate.

Avicenna · Answer

I'd rather have my own biological children. I can reproduce, so why adopt?

Phoenix98 · Answer

I'd rather have my own, you know that's my bloodline my family name, my family, my legacy.

FriendlyEnigma · Answer

I would personally rather adopt, I've always wanted to be a dad, i just dont think marriage is for me

Physics-Man · Answer

I'd prefer they be biological, but I'd have no problem adopting.

OfDeath · Answer

I'd rather have my own but would be happy if I could adopt too

shadowlhyn · Answer

My own child.. to experience giving birth and having your child is an amazing gift from God that you will remember until your kids are growing up and having their age as me..

esotericstory · Answer

Adopting is simply not an option. Id like to see adoptions in my country heavily reduced because its a big element in anti-natalist ideology, which I oppose fundamentally.

humanearth · Answer

I had nine kids. I am a baby making machine. I am the Machine

Bandit74 · Answer

I prefer no kids, but I would rather have biological kids over adopting.

Supermosh1990 · Answer

I much rather have my own. Unless the woman that becomes my soulmate can’t give birth

Blue_Rain · Answer

I'd rather have my own but if I can't , adoption it is then

one1wild00 · Answer

I've always been driven to have biological children.

Would you rather adopt children or have your own, and why?

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