My girlfriend doesn't have any hobbies?

[Anonymous]

Hi guys and gals,

I have a question that I really need help with,

My girlfriend.

The situation.

I am a student web programmer, I spend a lot of time on assignments and study, my girl friend doesn't have any hobbies

she does however pride herself on her housework (We have a very clean home!).

The problem is I am very busy (my chillout time is sometimes after 9pm, i.e watch a movie together).

She seems to rely on me to keep her entertained and often insists

that we watch a movie or mention's that she is bored and there is nothing to do.

Help what do I do?

Thanks

[Anonymous]

Does she have a job? Does she have family or friends? Maybe she doesn't have to have a hobby but just a love to hang out with friends and family doing stuff. Like I didn't really have a hobby, I liked taking walks and going on bike rides and listening to music. Stuff like that. Also I liked hanging out with friends so me and my friends would take trips, go canoeing, go to the bars or out to eat and see a movie with friends. She must have a life outside of your relationship. Unless she was like me now, where I followed my husband to Europe and left my life behind. Now I'm trying to figure out a job, and what I want to do with my life but I have no friends and no one speaks English here. Anyways, The best thing to do with her is probably just to take a huge interest in whatever she is interested in a little and continue to encourage her to pursue those interests that makes her happy and be supportive and keep telling her you will be supportive of her (not that you aren't doing that already). Well ask her about her day, about what she did that made her happy that day and keep doing that for a few months and then write down stuff and suggest to her to pursue something similar to what she said she really liked that made her happy that day. Like maybe she took a walk, so you can suggest she take friends out hiking more if she likes walks and nature, or if she likes a certain song, you can suggest a great local concert near by that she might want to go with friends, then she can talk to you about other stuff besides how boring her life is and how you must entertain her.

Just suggesting. Good luck

[Asker]

She is a stay at home mum (5/yo) he is well behaved and very intelligent.

This behavior starts after he goes to bed, She has a few friends but doesn't spend much time in contact with them. I feel like I'm at a loss with this, its really distracting, a few minutes ago she seemed rather pi**ed at me because she is bored... I think this is some kind of psychological game seriously

[Opinion Owner]

Is she really excited about her son? maybe she would talk to you about how her son did this or that, and maybe if she really likes kids she could like work at a day care (which I do) or at the elementary school as a TA or something. If she wants, she can have the kid go to school (pre-school?) and go to work at the same time! (that means no child care costs if the kid has free public school). And then on her days off she can go read a book or something (does she like reading?)

[Asker]

Oh and no, I don't think she has much of a life outside of our relationship. She just doesn't seem to have any interests, no interest to hang out with friends. One of my previous relationships ended for this very reason.

[Asker]

Yes she loves her son very much, since we all live in the same house together so I know how well he is doing at school. No interest in working/training in a job in childcare (I tried this discussion today) and no, she is not fond of reading

[Opinion Owner]

Put the kid in school and encourage her to join a club of some sort. Like me, I like religion so I joined a religious club at church, and then I started quilting to I joined a quilting club. Also yeah, if YOU really need some time away from her, why don't you just have a guys night and go to a friends house to play poker just to get a breather from her constant downer attitude, and if she complains, tell her she can go out some nights too while you take care of the kid.

[Asker]

He is at school 9-3 Monday to friday.

Yeah a night away might be nice,

I think she would just sit at home and be bored.

Damn I wish I could just buy her an Xbox or something xD

[Opinion Owner]

What is she doing while he is at school? Shouldn't she be doing a hobby or something she likes? well anyways, does she play xbox? I never play xbox but I do play mario brothers on the wii, that's kind of fun. Women like relationships though, and she'd probably want you to play with her too (which is how I do it with my husband). Other than that, does she have any problems with weight loss/gain? Maybe she wants to join a fitness gym while the little guy is at school. Just suggesting.

[Asker]

-She does the housework (by 10am she is finished, she keeps on top of that!)

-The rest of her day is spent watching daytime TV (from 10am to 2pm)

-Exactly

-Doesn't play video games

-She is physically fit

-Not interested in joining a gym

As you can see I am having a hard time trying to help her out

[Opinion Owner]

buy her some cool easy to read book sand see if she would get into anything. Like I went to the thrift store and just bought a book on yoga, make up, photography, religion, how to decorate the house etc. Once she is interested, just encourage her to pursue. All you can really do is help her find what she likes. What did you really like about her when you first met her? She's probably not THAT boring. lol

[Quadrophonic84]

Yeah, I lived with a girl that basically did nothing but watch TV. Not even housework...so you should be gratefu for that. But anyway, you should tell her that your schoolwork is really important to you because you've had these goals for a long time and you want to achieve them. Tell her you have time for her but that you need a lot of time every day to do your work uninterrupted and that she should look into doing things that she finds interesting. People start new hobbies all the time at every stage of life. Maybe she could get a cheap digital camera and take a photography course at the local community college. Maybe she could get into reading more. If she's reasonably intelligent, there are hundreds if not thousands of things she could do.

[Asker]

Hi thanks for your post!

When I ask her questions like "what do you find interesting?" I get really dull answers

from what I have gathered over numerous attempts to help is that she would like to be a bar tender.

So I suggested looking at bar courses, which she has found information about, but hasn't yet applied to start the course, now when I ask her about it she doesn't seem that interested.

Hmmm

[Quadrophonic84]

She sounds pretty lazy man. Not trying to get down on her or anything, but people like that can bring you down with them over time. Think about it - she's getting what she wants by getting your attention through this - you're figuring out for her what she should do. Same kind of thing I used to do with gfs.

[Jager66]

sure she does, her hobby is fretting about you