My girlfriend keeps talking about her ex?

[Gabe9000]

right now I'm in a new relationship that I am very happy with. everything is in order and she and I are getting along just fine. but to every good thing, there's always something not so good. I noticed over time she would always talk about this one guy (shes had other exes but its always this one). I know she means well because he is her best friends brother and it would be hard not to talk bout him. but I don't really know how I'm supposed to feel with this, whenever she would say a story bout him or something I have no idea how to respond to it other than "yeah" or "OK." I'm trying to be a "new me" because I ruined my last relationship fussing over the gf's exes and the little things. she knows she's not really supposed to talk about exes with me since I'm the current boyfriend but trying to be nice I said it was OK so I can't blame her for telling me stories. anyway I know there's supposed to be a question in this but I don't really know what to ask. I'm just feeling very confused so if anyone knows how I can comfort myself about this that would b great.

[buckinghorse]

Ugh, I know how you feel. My fiancée loves me very much, but during our dating stage of our relationship, we broke up for a while and she went out with this other guy because we didn't think we'd ever get back together. She told me she never liked him she just wanted to get over me, but she's always mentioning him when something "reminds" her of him. It really drives me INSANE. I've promised her I'd stop this because I know how much she loves me and I know it bothers her when I'm always so jealous, but it's very hard. Sometimes you just have to remind yourself that she's with you, and if she really wanted to be with her ex - she would be there or at least trying to be. If she's with you, I'm sure she only wants you and you just need to be patient when she's talking about him. Maybe try to change the subject, it usually works for me :)

[Gabe9000]

thanks dude, its just hard trying to be cool about it because I really like this girl and I don't want to ruin this relationship like last time. ill try the whole reassuring myself that she's with me and trying to change the subject whenever I can.

[buckinghorse]

Yeah, I know how it feels to have to try and be cool about it. I've almost ruined our relationship with this issue, but since we're engaged she's a lot less quick to break up. A little jealousy is OK, just don't let it get out of hand - it'll end up hurting you worse than her

[nybss]

Two things:

You need to be able to tell the difference between her talking about a story or situation where the ex happened to be there, or just a story about the ex. The first you should not sweat at all and the second you should ask that she only talks about it if she needs to, ie, she is still getting over something hurtful said etc.

She needs to understand that if she just goes on and on about her ex boyfriends, she might need some time to decide what she wants to actually do.

[12elizabeth]

she needs to drop it, if she likes you she needs to know not to talk about her ex if she's already been in relationships before being with you she should know not to being talking about her other previous boyfriends. I'm srry, usually it means that she hasn't moved on, maybe you should just ignore what she says about her exes and pretend nothings going on.

[Gabe9000]

thats what I'm doing actually, I'm just pretending that its all good and that it doesn't affect me. I'm trying to b a good boyfriend and trust her that she won't cheat or anything. she even told me that she hates those types of people so why would she end up like something she hates? so I'm feeling confident about that part.

[12elizabeth]

right, she's treating you more like a friend and not her bf.

[Gabe9000]

idk, but I do know that this guy will never be out of the picture because she will always go to her friends house and he will always be there. hell, just today she made friends with a random guy today that she said looks like her ex. I don't really know what goes on in her head because she's unpredictable in a good way. but I hope things will fly smoothly eventually

[Anonymous]

You should talk to her and explain how much it's affecting you. If she cares about your relationship she will stop. If you don't think that helps then next time she brings him up you bring your exes up too. Shell notice and shell get bother as much as you do if she loves you.

[tomakievil]

I talk about my ex all the time, but my last 5 years were with him. So if I talk about anything in the past he was probably there with me.

[udolipixie]

she knows she's not really supposed to talk about exes with me since I'm the current boyfriend

sorry that's only a rule for the insecure

She's with you not him.

[c_deyoung]

tell her to stop talking about her ex boyfriend and that you want her to focus on you two. if she doesn't then she obviously doesn't care about you as much as she should.

[Anonymous]

My girlfriend talks about her ex boyfriends all the time but u can learn from it because she is telling you what her ex did so u can not do the same as her ex just listen and I am sure she will tell u what happened with her and her ex and don't do the things she said what happened with her and her ex girls love to talk let them and learn