
How many of you want babies?


My girlfriend and I have lived together 12 years and I am the proud besotted father of three little Munchkins. The greatest gifts a woman could give to a man. I could not imagine my life without her or them. The make my happiest day happier, and they make the hard days so much worth the stress.
It can be exasperating at times. It can be worrying at times. It can be hilariously funny. The one thing it has never been is boring.
Our oldest - currently 10 - is a live wire. His life's motto seems to be - "Why walk around obstacles when you can just walk through them?" We are pretty sure that he was the first second grader ever to apply to join the Marine Corps and we are pretty sure he was on the team that took out bin Laden.
He is also ferociously protective of his younger brother and sister. When once his younger brother was crying, saying he was being picked on at school, older brother said, "Don't worry (name), I'll protect you." We were pretty sure he would, too - with a tank.
Younger brother is his older sibling's temperamental opposite. So much so that I've asked my girlfriend what the mailman was doing the week our second son was conceived. He is our little cuddler.
When I get home and the other two are flying around the house, he will climb into my lap, look at me very earnestly, and say, "Did you have a good day today, daddy? I was very busy today..." "Oh were you?," I reply, to be then regaled with the days doings at school. (He loves school and he loves his teacher.)
Our youngest, our daughter, is my little princess. That does not mean though that I am not as tough on her as I am the boys - Not!
Our conversations go something like this (or some variation on the theme):
Daughter/Princess: "Daddy, I want a pony."
Me: "You want a pony? What kind of pony? How about two ponies? We can put them in the backyard, the neighbors won't mind. Want to get the ponies this weekend? How about three ponies."
At which point my girlfriend rolls her eyes - she has to do that a lot with me - and says, "You're not getting her a pony!!"
Suffice to say I am currently covertly searching for the perfect pony to live in our suburban neighborhood backyard. As I say, the neighbors won't mind.
Here's the thing. From the moment they were put in my arms I remember thinking - the tears welling up - "Gosh, I don't even know you and yet I would throw myself in front of an oncoming train to protect you." It is the most unconditional love I have ever known.
Suffice to say, if my girlfriend told me tomorrow that she was pregnant, you would not be able to wipe the smile off my face. (Given how lax we tend to be about birth control, it is a wonder we don't have ten children anyhow.) I would be walking on a cloud.
So put me down for "I already have children and would like to have more..." Of course, at our ages we probably have run out the string on that, but as I say, if my girlfriend told me tomorrow that she was pregnant - and it is not like I am not trying (that was a joke) - you would see the happiest man alive.
Hey, life is full of challenges. You can only do the best you can do and if we raise them right, we will be able to at least reduce the worst.
Besides, even now I look at them and I am so proud. Tellin ya pal, they - and their mom - are the best things that have ever happened to me. This I say as a guy who has worked in politics, met Presidents, have been published and have traveled to 38 countries.
To be sure I am proud of all that. However, there is nothing quite like that feeling when I have been out - I normally work from home these days - and come home to those little people. Best feeling in the universe and I cannot even begin to describe it.
So I'll take that apology and pocket it. No doubt there are days when I will need it. However, I would not trade those kids for a million apologies. Good days and bad.
Well, not everyone may be cut out for it. Frankly, I was not sure that I was, to tell you the truth - and our first TWO pregnancies were unplanned.
However, sometimes if you ask more of yourself you can surprise yourself. Moreover, as cliche as it sounds, when they put that little person in your arms you suddenly find yourself thinking that there is nothing you would not do and you push yourself harder.
Of course, to each his own and each finds happiness in their own way. However, this I tell you, there is no words to express that feeling you get from giving such unconditional love. That moment when you realize - it ain't all about me.
No, there was a point in my life when I was not a fan. However, long story short, I had passed that point by the time I got a girl pregnant and - even though it had not been planned - I was nervous but happy. (That girl was not my current s/o. It was another girl and she miscarried.)
Believe me, I could give you a much longer story, but I will spare you. Suffice to say, I am not suggesting that you have children if you don't want them. That is not my place.
All I would tell you is that something happens to a man when they put that little life in your arms and you know that all that little person has is you. Don't get me wrong, as I wrote above, there are not moments when I would not cheerfully tear my hair out.
However, there is just something so special, so intense, so loving that those moments pass and seem insignificant.
@nightdrot not to be rude or anything, but how old is your wife? when did she have your babies? i am just getting paranoid with everyone saying women's fertility ends at 30. you seem to have the perfect life. i too want 3 babies.
@nightdrot sorry, i meant to say girlfriend, not wife.
@DianaWest That's okay. My girlfriend was actually 34 when she had our first. We were a bit concerned, but her doctor kept her on a healthy diet and my girlfriend is, in any case, quite fit.
Sincerest wishes to you. We admittedly were lucky, but believe it or not, on average, women can have children as late as their early 50s. This assuming of course that you are healthy and fit.
Hope that helps.
@nightdrot thanks. it certainly does!
Nope.
I can't think of all the reasons, but ultimately, I don't think I'd be happy if I had one.
I already have one year old and the second baby’s on the way. Before I used to have a serious phobia from getting pregnant or having a baby, but once it got in my belly I faced the reality and accepted it and I know it’s the best thing I could ask for in my life.
a small part of me does but i also feel like i'd be such a shit mother and dont want to pass down my bad genes bc depression and bipolar runs in my family
Opinion
13Opinion
of course. they are such adorable little angels. every time i see a baby in public they just make me smile. they are sooooo sweet and chubby. the way they waddle on their tiny chubby legs like little penguins. love them. i want 3-4 babies (2 girls and 2 boys).
I don't want any more babies. Kids are stressful man...
Babies are great, too bad they grow up into teenagers! :)
I wouldn't have had it any other way, but I have a friend who's happy without, and I can't say I blame him.
Yes, I want children. I want to be a father and husband, ultimately raise a family.
I'd like to have more kids. I like having a big family.
I want babies because I feel like that is one of the things that completes a family for me.
The decision to have a baby wasn't mine to make. Circumstances didn't favor me. I can't bare children
Yes, maybe, someday. It's not on my priorities, though. Only if I find a partner I want to marry and build a family with.
Sorta maybe but it doesn't really worry me
I only want someone to inherit my stuff and continue the bloodline
Very stressful. I already have so much stress in my life. can't handle some crying toddler waking me up at night screaming. Thats a nightmare
None for me, for a list of reasons too long to count
a baby can't work. it's useless to me
i need that check every week
@DianaWest how's it gonna help if it's in the sweatshop?
Have 4 and soon will have 5
About 30, spread over 3-5 wives.
I do I want 2 girls and 2 boys
no never i would be happy with what i get and if it is 7 boys or 1 girl i would be happy
Naw i got 2 dozen mouths to feed already.
I’ll take two babies two male and one Daighter
I want 2 kids by the time I am 35.
Fuck no
I already have 4
No interest in supporting a woman or her kids
@DianaWest Let's just agree to disagree. I don't need any children, so if I gave her kids they would be hers. Guys always get fucked in family court and divorce. I only have one life to live and I don't want to waste it supporting someone else and her children
50/50 as expected
4 babies
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