Do you think it’s human nature for father’s to care about their sons less than their daughter’s?

[Anonymous]

Yes that’s normal

No that’s not normal

[Anonymous]

Speaking as the besotted father of four, only one of which is a little girl, I can tell you that I love them equally with all my heart and - it is not an exaggeration to say - I would give my life to protect them (and their mom.) In terms of "caring" for them, they are absolutely equal.

Now in fairness, I will admit, that I do not raise them in quite the same way. In total truth, as my girlfriend - their mom, rolling her eyes, will testify in a court of law, as regards my little princess, I have her right where she wants me. That is less though a function of how much I love them then that they are very distinct personalities.

Our oldest - currently 9 - is a live wire. His life's motto seems to be - "Why walk around obstacles when you can just walk through them?" We are pretty sure that he was the first second grader ever to apply to join the Marine Corps and we are pretty sure he was on the team that took out bin Laden.

He is also ferociously protective of his younger brother and sister. When once his younger brother was crying, saying he was being picked on at school, older brother said, "Don't worry (name), I'll protect you." We were pretty sure he would, too - with a tank.

Younger brother is his older sibling's temperamental opposite. So much so that I've asked my girlfriend what the mailman was doing the week our second son was conceived. He is our little cuddler.

When I get home and the other two are flying around the house, he will climb into my lap, look at me very earnestly, and say, "Did you have a good day today, daddy? I was very busy today..." "Oh were you?," I reply, to be then regaled with the days doings at school. (He loves school and he loves his teacher.)

Our youngest, our daughter, is my little princess. That does not mean though that I am not as tough on her as I am the boys - Not!

Our conversations go something like this (or some variation on the theme):

Daughter/Princess: "Daddy, I want a pony."

Me: "You want a pony? What kind of pony? How about two ponies? We can put them in the backyard, the neighbors won't mind. Want to get the ponies this weekend? How about three ponies."

At which point my girlfriend rolls her eyes - she has to do that a lot with me - and says, "You're not getting her a pony!!"

Suffice to say I am currently covertly searching for the perfect pony to live in our suburban neighborhood backyard. As I say, the neighbors won't mind.

Here's the thing. From the moment they were put in my arms I remember thinking - the tears welling up - "Gosh, I don't even know you and yet I would throw myself in front of an oncoming train to protect you." It is the most unconditional love I have ever known.

Even with my oldest, a 14 year old son whom I just recently learned I had, the woman who is his mother introduced me to him on condition that I not tell him who I am. She raised him on her own - she did not tell me she was pregnant after we had what amounts to a one night stand - and does not want, for his sake, to upend his high school and college years.

Frankly, this hurts me more than I can say, but I have decided to abide by her request for his sake and I only hope I am doing the right thing. Even then, I don't "care" about him less. I have met him and am enormously proud of him and already love him with all my heart and would do anything for him - including keeping my distance so that he can have "normal" teen years.

Not sure how much more a father could care for his son than going against every instinct I have in the hopes he will benefit from it. It is paradoxical, but I hope it shows that I care for them equally.

[Jamie05rhs]

I think you can still be in your eldest son's life if you want to (if his mother allows it.). You don't have to tell him you're his father. Just acting like a father figure is enough. Just my opinion.

[Opinion Owner]

@Jamie05rhs Well, actually, I am involved. Just as a friend - and his mother is fine with it. In fact, it is partly why she tracked me down.

Still, he is my son and I wish I could be more involved with his life. Besides, you have to admit, teenaged boys are not really looking for 50-plus year old friends.

Thanks, though, for your compassionate suggestion. It is much appreciated. I love him and it is not easy to be on the outside of your son's life looking in.

[Jamie05rhs]

Whether he's specifically seeking older men in his life doesn't really matter. You just be there for him regardless. As a father, you are the leader.

And you are very welcome, sir!

[caring__1]

It's more likely that parents tend to have higher expectations of their same sex child. It's not about caring. There are many men who don't know what to do with girls, yet they share their interests with their sons. Men sometimes fear their actions might hurt their daughters, so they tend to be more cautious with them. Understand, this is not an all fathers type of thing. There are many types of fathers, and just as many ways to treat their children. Some fathers don't like any children (children are to be seen and not heard). How fathers treat their children differs so much that there's no way we can conclude human nature controls it.

[laraWM]

I don't think it's true generally speaking. I mean you may found some fathers like that but I think it is not common

[Sam_The_Savage]

What are you doing now?

[hellionthesagereborn]

They love their sons as much as their daughters, the difference is in how they show that love. A son will be a man, he has responsibilities and expectations that a daughter will never have (whether or not women are willing to admit this). As such he has to be trained to deal with the world and all the future responsibility he will have and that means a father has to be less leniant, more "aggressive" with his approach then with a daughter. Their is a reason why we talk about manhood as if it was distinctly different then simply being born male, its because it is. Women are born men are made, that is not a difference in how much a father cares but in understanding a difference in expectations (girls are freer then men again, no matter how much women may argue otherwise (they can only do so because they don't understand what being a man is)).

[Susjsm]

God you are so dumb and backwards. People like you shouldn't be allowed to have children. Gross.

[hellionthesagereborn]

@Susjsm No, you just haven't seen the real world yet. You've never struggled, you've never had to deal with true suffering so your bissfully unaware of what is required of a man. That is the biggest tragedy of the modern era, boys will never become men and society will crumble as a result. Males are protectors, their is a reason why we have significantly denser bones, 25% thicker skin, 60% greater upper body strength, 50% lower body strength, why we get PTSD at significantly lower rates then women despite being far more likely to experience sever trauma, higher thresholds for pain, etc. We have a function and you have been so pampered and coddled that your going to be a manchild for your entire life and not realize that is exactly why your miserable, because you where never allowed to become who you where meant to be. Thats why your angry at what I said, you know its true but your to afraid to admit it instead opting for the easier path of childhood over the harder (but more rewarding) path of manhood.

[hellionthesagereborn]

@Susjsm Yes, you've never suffered so you have never figured out what is real suffering and what isn't, you have no perspective and you have no purpose and you don't know what your capable of so you live in a perpetual state of misery which is why your first at was to try and insult a complete stranger for suggesting that their is a difference between men and women.

As for your pathetic attempt at an insult (cuck? Really? Nothing I stated would make me that but your behavior implies you are a bit of a simp), well its just that, pathetic. Acknowledging reality is not being a cuck, being a cuck is going along with feminism that states men and women are the same when they are not, its going along with this idea that we should treat boys like women.

Men are biologically built to protect, this is not a question or opinion but a statement of fact, its undeniable. We are also built to be leaders and you cannot do either of those if you get pampered and never have your mettle tested. Thats why your never going to be a man, you have been pampered (again, its why your acting like a woman, being overly emotional and throwing around insults when you don't get your way) and you have never been tested. You will never have a purpose or place in the world so your just going to be bitter and angry (just like feminists, just like women who refuse to accept their femininity) and use entertainment to try and fill the void (whether that be sex or video games, either way your going to fill that void with things that don't help you).

[hellionthesagereborn]

@Susjsm As for women doing better in every catagory, its not because I treat them better, at no point did I advocate for that and if you would stop acting effeminate you would realize that. I stated we treat men and women differently because we have different roles and different functions which again, is a biological reality no amount of whining and bitching from you is going to alter that fact.

The reason why women are fairing better then men and men are suffering in all catagories is BECAUSE men are acting like women, they are simping and cucking themselves (to use your terminology) to women. Men are protectors and leaders and that means while you care for women and you protect them and you heed their advice, your still the leader and ultimately you need to be the one to make the decisions because your the one taking the risk, men don't do that now because they have forgoten how to be men. So instead they let women lead them around because being a man is hard and as a result they end up like you, miserable little simps who are to terrified to acknowledge reality so they throw temper tantrums like a child every time some one points out those realities.

[Susjsm]

Ah so little boys feeling bad at school is their fault got it. You are the cuck boy here. Your opinion is FACTUALLY WRONG. You dumbo should inform yourself for one. You didn't even understand what I wrote it's super pathetic. Omg. You are supporting the current way of parenting boys. Which is what's wrong. You are wrong. I can't argue with you, you are unfortunately simply too dumb and will never understand. Feminists don't want people to treat boys like girls they say EXACTLY WHAT YOJ ARE SAYING YOU IDIOT. WHICH IS WHATS WRONG.

by the way you would be scared of me in real life my little idiot.

[hellionthesagereborn]

@Susjsm Never once said any of that, again, your arguing like a woman emotional appeals and insults. I stated that men allowing women to dominate them and make the rules has always been the problem. When the leader, the one in charge lets their subordinates make the rules every thing falls apart. You wouldn't want a manager that was a push over, you wouldn't want a president that was a push over, yet people like you are the reason why society is falling apart because your to terrified of responsibility and want every one else to be responsible for you, you look to women to be responsible and take charge so you can sit on your ass doing jack shit because its easier then maning up and doing what you know you need to. Your weak and you know it, thats why your throwing temper tantrums, thats why you blame the world for your problems because your too weak to try and fix the problems you see so you just demand society to do it for you. This is why you will always fail and why our society is failing.

[Susjsm]

So you have zero arguments just some random bullshit. Where are you getting this shit from what should I reply to this? Wtf are you thinking?

[hellionthesagereborn]

@Susjsm Well, I have science and reality, so thats not a lack of argument, you bitching and whining demanding to be treated like a woman is not an argument. I mean if that is what you want go for it, I'm not going to stop you, but its clearly not working because anyone can see your as miserable as you can be (by all the bitching, whining, and woe is me bullshit). Your either taking control of your life or your a victim of it, you have chosen to be a victim and that is why our society is going to shit, no one with the balls to take control of the situation always waiting for mommy or daddy to do it.

[Aakash_Hangargi]

I won't say they would care less or more.

If you think in terms of handling and parenting children mom had the responsibility to di spline the girl child so she's strict with girl child bc she knows in and out at what age girls behave in certain ways.

So there is no escape from mother while with father his definetly unaware of some facts and can be more linient.


And vice versa a wildness of a guy child can be controlled more by father so his gona be strict and show the developing ways what boys have to take to be respected in society so his gonna toughen for him and show some tough love while mother's can be more nicer to boy child bc she wouldn't have more of that burden to discipline him.

So it's divide and rule strategy

[HiveBee]

Society puts extra baggage on boys. Parents treat boys as if they are going to face a cruel and brutal world and they act in such a way as to prepare the boy for that world.

Parents treat their daughters as if they are princesses or Angel's, or future sluts and whores teenage moms lol. And so they treat the girl however they believe girls to be.

I think this is very wrong and bad and cruel and disgusting for both sexes.

[Anonymous]

Tbh I think that’s a learned behavior to do that. My brother has kids and he always says that if his daughter came first then she’d be the only child 😂😂


I think girls do require a little more effort most of the time.


However, all my early life I’ve been told that as a guy I’m too aggressive or insensitive and I need to focus more on women and what they want. I became so focused on being romantic, sensitive, and nurturing. This was really disingenuous of me I’ve since learned a different way of acting that is more true to me. I don’t have kids but if I did during that time then I would definitely have devoted more attention to the girl just because she’s a girl and that’s what guys do.

[Susjsm]

Wow that's gross. Your brother should have the children taken away.

[Opinion Owner]

Nope, he’s a good father. He was just making a joke to say how drastically different it is to raise a girl rather than a boy. He never expected what it’d be like to raise a girl lol

[Susjsm]

It's really not different. It really highlights how awful as a parent he is if he thinks it's any different. Which it isn't.

[Opinion Owner]

You’re out of line. You don’t know anything about me or my brother. My brother is a good father and his kids love him. He was just using hyperbole and honestly he isn’t the first person to say that and he sure won’t be the last.

[michael1469]

Men generally care about oppisite sex.

I have a daughter, i was only allowed what the court ordered cause her mom was a bitch. I never missed my visitation. Having to struggle to see your child is painful.

I had an employee w a daughter whos dad was a piece of shit. I have been to plays at her school, rodeos, little shopping trips, etc etc... just to give her what its like to have a male role model. And yes, it fills the void of me not being able to see my daughter at the same age when ever i wanted. If that little girl needs anything, i stop what i am doing to tend to her. My reward? A smile, a laugh, a hug and a memory. Well worth the effort. I pray she is not emotionally scared from her dad basically abandoning her.

And i say all this, cause i just saw the kidlet with her mother at a car show yesterday.

[CallmeTheKnight]

Father's care for their children equally. He may be more watchful/protective over his daughter, because that's his little princess. That doesn't mean he doesn't love or watch his son as much.

Chances are he'll even know what superhero they want to be or what powers they want to have.

[NyceGuyFinishingLast]

I have both daughters and a son and I don't care any less about either one. I love and care about them the same. If a father is showing more love and care for one child based on gender then that is an issue with the dad. This is not normal behavior. But, a dad may feel the need to protect his daughter more than his son as the son might be viewed as able to protect themselves. But a dad should not care more for one child than another.

[jshm2]

It's more complex than that.

The old fashioned view is that women are "weak" therefore need more care and attention from males. Hence most old fashioned fathers will give more attention to their daughters than sons.

But family dynamics can be more complex than that.

[Aiko_E_Lara]

Actually there is that psychological thing that society have that they care more about women than men. So that also applies to the parent's children subconsciously. If i show you the social experiment about male and female and even an old man marrying a female kid vs an old woman marrying a male kid, it's just like that and you can see the sympathy gap is so big

[Aiko_E_Lara]

Well that's a normal thing, i'm still saying that they have to at least try to treat men and women equally

[cjmtherfcker]

I think their may be some conflation on the concepts of caring and protective. I think a good father is going to be far more protective of the daughter than the son. Which may be perceived as a positive or negative favoritism depending on who is judging.

[serious]

No it is not human to do so but by nature a father is likely to be more protective for his daughter as compared to his son. His protectiveness for his daughter will increase more if his daughter is nice, sweet, kind, soft hearted woman.

[kkirk4442]

Guys don't care less about their sons, but they are more protective of their daughters.

[Jamie05rhs]

I don't think they care about their sons less. They're just more protective over their daughters (as they should be).

[Susjsm]

Yes as they should be. I mean why should anyone care that boys kill themselves 5 times as often. Clearly the girls are the ones who need so much protection. Aww poor girly

[Anonymous]

No, it's not normal for fathers to care about their sons less than their daughters, but it's normal for them to treat and love sons and daughters in somewhat different ways. Sons need different kinds of lessons than daughters do.

[Hispanic-Cool-Guy]

I think so. Caring too much for boys makes them weak and docile. Let boys grow up rough and rugged.

[Susjsm]

You are so incredibly dumb it hurts. Please never get kids.

[Jamie05rhs]

He's right, though. I have a friend who was spoiled by his mom and he's a complete wreck.

[Hispanic-Cool-Guy]

@Susjsm: I can guarantee you, you soft as cotton. A 21 year old man with the mind of a 12 year old boy.

[Susjsm]

You are litterally a little cuck with some kind of complex. You look like a baby in your profile pic. Are you for real? Is that satire?

[Susjsm]

@Jamie05rhs spoiled like how? Sounds like major bullshit.

[Jamie05rhs]

Looks like someone has two accounts lol.

[Iron_Man]

The daughter is the Athletic princess the son is an athlete there’s no less caring about anyone

[JamieLoves]

None of what you say is normal. Dads love their children equally

[far2gud4u]

My dad preferred my bro sooooooo

[Dontaaa]

Hell no, that's not normal.

[HHHHIHHHHHIHHHH]

Noni think in genetal its the other wsy around

[wickhamhayls]

no, in your arab world, it is.

[Susjsm]

@Jamie05rhs what are you even talking about?

[fonduegirl]

They express it less