We were supposed to hang out at the mall today and had planned ahead, my mom was going to pick them up then drop us off at the mall but I needed their address and kept asking for it but they kept making excuses saying they need to check their mail to see their address. Which would be fine but they never sent their address which seems dumb to me cause if they wanted to really hang out with me I feel like they wouldn’t have forgot.
I feel really hurt cause I consider this person my bestfriend but ig. I’ve been catching weird feelings for a while, they almost always bring my intelligence/looks down by calling me dumb or insulting my appearance in one way or another. They usually do this in a joking way but a lot of the time their jokes go too far and can actually just hurt. Usually when I talk to this person they just haven’t been making me feel great lately.
If you reached that point in your relationship when you would call her your best friend instead of just a friend, I am sure that she definitely proved herself to you by know that you can trust her and that she deserves to be your best friend. And no little incident would break that. What you described there could be explained by lots of things, from as little as she just didn't want to go out with you at the time, because she just wasn't in the mood but didn't want to tell you right away that, but there might as well could have been a much bigger problem that she will tell you another time. I've bailed on my friend multiple times from going out for very small and insignificant reasons, but that doesn't mean we are not friends anymore. A best friend is not just someone you hang out with, it is someone who trusts you and who you can trust, wit EVERYTHING. Honestly, I don't even know what my best friend would have to do to make me think he should no longer be my friend...
On another hand, especially at your age, if one of you just said one day at school "hey, let's be best friends" than the story it's completely different. Best friends are made through hard times. Just like friends. If trust and honesty don't exist in your relationship, than you are just acquaintances. You are just class mates or just 2 girls who know each other and hang out sometimes. And in this case, I don't see any reason for you to care if she bails on you or not... If you want to be friends, just accept this as a thing that happened and move on.
And also, if you are best friends for real, I don't think you should even have to ask this here. You should just confront her and see what happened. A best friend would tell you that your place where you wanted to go was stupid and she didn't really find another excuse not to go, without hurting your feelings. Or she would just tell you the real thing that happened, which could be better or worse, but would be as close to the truth as possible. A good friend would find a way to nicely lie about that and explain the situation in a way that would make sense. A non friend would just say "I forgot" or "I thought I sent you that address. I don't know what happened. I was there waiting for you." (A good friend would have called at the time to give you an update, if this was the case), or she would just try to avoid the question (but not necessarily taking about something else).
I have a feeling that there are a lot of exceptions to what I just said, but I don't know how to fit them in... For example if something really embarrassing or worse, if something tragic had happened, she might not want to talk about that subject for days or even weeks. Hope I helped. Anyways, just talk to her.
I've known a guy for 8 years, because of school, and while we talked, I never saw him as a friend per se. And shit went down and I had a very big fight with him after he started spreading fake rumors about me in the school to make fun of me and to make sure no girl in school would ever want to look at me again (and he succeeded in that)...
I know this is not what you meant, but I just wanted to say that time together is not what defines a friendship. Trust is. And that is earned through time, yes, but I can learn if I can trust a guy in a matter of days, or even hours, in some cases...
So, as a conclusion, if you are at least real friends right now, or even more, best friends, this incident shouldn't break that. Things worse can happen and you will have to learn to live through them. She might steal your boyfriend one day and you will fight over that, like fight fight, not just argue. But I bet you will still come around to one another and remain friends.
That isn’t the problem I have; it’s mostly her being rude to me. I have to constantly tell her to not talk to me a certain way cause sometimes she’ll just be borderline rude.
That’s why I’m getting tired of it and I don’t even feel like I can talk about anything serious with her cause she’d probably try to use it against me later to make fun of me if that makes sense.
I guess she’s always kind of been like this but I just didn’t notice before.
I salute my best friends with "fuck you" and we call each other dickheads and dumb fucks... does this mean we shouldn't be friends anymore? Hell no.
It's ok if you don't like that, if you don't want to be friends with her that's alright. But yeah, since you can't talk anything serious with her because you fear that she will use it against you, then you are not friends, untill proven that she will not do that.
You shouldn't be friends with someone you don't like. The whole conversation before this was because I thought you wanted to be friends with her...
I never said I didn’t want to be friends with them, I just said I didn’t like how they were treating me. I don’t think you understand because you’re a boy, it’s ok though
A real friend will build you up, not tear you down.
My best friend has been my best friend for 30 years. He's my son's godfather and I love him like a brother. I know I can trust him with my life or if anything happens to me and my wife I can trust him to raise my son.
A real friend will tell you negative things about yourself but in a way that builds you up. My best mate has done that - and vice versa - for our whole friendship. I introduced him to his wife, he helped me see I was with the wrong person at one point and he's helped me out in my marriage.
But when I was 15 my "best friend" was a deadbeat. I just didn't realise.
I’m sorry, sometimes, we think someone may be a friend but may not really be a good friend 🥺 I hope you take this time to reflect what does friendship means for you, what is a good friend vs bad friend, and what is being respectful. I think it does hurt. But it may be a blessing in disguise to not put much effort into someone like that in our life. She hurts you in many ways and that’s not okay. I hope you make new friends who would be the kind of friends you want and treat you right~ 🌸
I had the opposite experience. Many people called me their “best friend” over the past years (although I only considered them a close friend) but they always end up leaving or ain’t a good friend at the end. It’s disappointing, but I keep moving forward because real friends would stay, put effort, talk it out, or treat you right like how you would wanted.
drop them, trust me. This person is obviously jealous or an asshole cuz they feel the need to call you those names. I had a friend like that in high school but it completely ruined my hopes in any friends and also self esteem. She’s already helping u by not hanging out with you so now you just need to stop hanging out with her. You could also tell her that when she insults you, it hurts you very much. If she cares she will stop, if she doesn’t she will continue and that’s when it’s time to lose her.
I'm sorry you had to go through that or even feel that they're not your friends a friend would have snapped out there address for one second they would have been ready to go and I can tell you right now don't worry about it it's their loss you are a very good person you are very cool you are very smart you see things at different angles you feel things deeper than most and they're missing out on a good friendship I'm sorry you had to go through this
You know this doesn't justify it or anything but I have come to find out that this happens to a lot of really really good people really smart people and one year two years three years five years down the road you'll find out how smart and beautiful you are can you have some nice stuff and one day you will run into those girls and when will probably be pregnant and the other one just divorced because it just seems like all their games the other chaos they've created just keeps following them around so even though it's kind of messed up today in this moment as soon as this moment passes there's going to be a new one no please you will still be you being a good person smiling it totally sucks I can feel you I know that that don't take it too serious I look at it like this how do we knows it they are the bitches but we don't know let's say there is a higher power they didn't want you to hang out with those girls so he made it happen or she made it happen we always look at it something so negatively then I guess it's because they think they are LMAO it could be true you never know anyway just smile you will make anything and everything in your life work out just fine
You're welcome you know nothing stays the same forever things change all the time. Who knows those girls next week might not even be friends never again to like I said there's all kinds of different reasons things like that could happen when weekend about five of my friends stop by my house they're on their way to go skiing and they asked me if I wanted to go and I said yes but then I felt something there wasn't really any room in that car so I said no go ahead I'll go next weekend or something and we were trying to talk me into it and I just get so you know that's right go ahead and go will they run at night I got word that they were in a head-on collision nobody died but they were all pretty well messed up and I'm just glad I listened to myself or that little voice saying no don't go it's like when a girl and a boy get together in the first week something happens and of course one of them is very hurt whoever that is they're going to blame the other person but how do we know that there wasn't another Factor this is changed everything so that other person had to do whatever they did you you know what I mean sometimes it's not what it looks like and sometimes it is
hey i had a friend like that, i'm rlly bad at judging character & it took my mum lecturing me about her to realise that the friendship was formed out of convenience rather than rlly liking each other's company.
i tried not asking to hang out first as opposed to what i usually did & she didn't in return, kinda spoke for itself. I don't know if that was the right way to handle it but it's best not to make a big deal out of it. i cldn't imagine telling her that she made me sad to her face lol, I don't know if u guys talk often or what but it was a good way for me to see w minimal damage.
If your best friends call you dumb or insult your appearance too often then it's time you think whether it's worth associating with them anymore. Insulting each other is a common factor amongst friends but you are intelligent enough to realise when they are crossing the line.
I had these type of "friends" at your age. I regret not leaving the friendgroup earlier, bc it traumatized me. I would say leave them asap, because they don't sound good for your self-esteem or mental health. It sucks because teenagers are often quite selfish because of their insecurity and finding themselves, however there are people that can still be great friends. Seek out some new people.
What is it with people who don't know their own address? Lol. I worry about some of you folks haha. I'm a delivery driver, and I've had a customer literally tell me that they didn't know their own address. Like, wtf? Maybe find that out before you try to order food?
I married someone who was a close if not best friend after knowing her 16 years, well after getting married she decided that she had to be in charge of everything. She completely ruined everything, stole destroyed and threw away a lot of personal property. I got her admitting in a phone call that her and her mother lied in court to try to ruin my life with false charges, she lied through the whole divorce and that her, her kids and her mother stole things from me. So I guess that you could say she is extremely fake.
Dang, your wife reminds me of my family.. when my grandma died in court they brang my mom to court to try and get my grandmas belongings even though the house my grandma was living in was under my moms name. Now they cut off ties to her and never talk to my mom 🤦🏽♀️ some people are just low life’s
She cheated on me with a county deputy. When I tried to report the shotgun her mother stole, they refused to take a report. My ex is married to that same little bitch.
They didn't even know their own address? Have you ever seen the movie "Odd Girl Out"? You sound just like her. Girls pretending to be her friends but talking about her behind her back.
Who doesn't know their own address? She's toxic, makes you feel bad... she is taking advantage of your friendship. Even planned your mom going out of her way to pick her up. You shouldn't be her friend 🌸
She's only trying to bring you down because she's miserable. Anyways the things she's saying to you is simply a reflection of how she is, that's psychology and probably jealous of you in some way. It pisses me of when people act like that when someone wants to hang out with them simply because I've never had anyone who's ever texted me and wanted to spend time with me. Hence I have zero friends 😃
They didn't know their addresses? That's the excuse they gave you? Sounds like they just didn't want to go with you also Sounds like they are insulting you and when you get hurt they say they are only joking. If they really cared about your feelings they would stop doing it doesn't matter if they were joking they would just apologize and that's it. I don't think they sound like very good friends too me. Unless I'm missing something here.
Ok how could someone have been your best friend when you never knew their address? Friends know friends addressed especially best friends. It sounds to me you took it upon yourself to ASSUME you two were besties. So im not sure where you got the idea of bestfriend from? Doesn't even sound like you guys hung out outside of school. She sounds like just a school associate
Yeah, this is my second friendship in a row that’s been like this 😕 so many people are fake In highschool. That’s why I rarely ever consider people real friends
Real friends are few and far between. I have just 1 person outside my family that I consider to be my best friend. Everyone else is so phony and I can't deal with people like that.
I will appear to you as extremely cynical. In my life I have learned that friendship does not exist. What unites people is the common interest. Interest is as changeable as a flag in the wind. Your friend is most likely a little girl in a teenager's body.
Hang with new people dont make your friend a priority if your not one to her, for the name calling or put down i never hung out with anyone who put me down id make some distance & see how things play out
Dump 'em - I've been around people who act this way to their so called "friends". If they make you feel miserable or unhappy then you're better off alone.
Yeah and I honestly feel like she treats me as a “burden” when she’s with her other friends but at the same time only brings me along because she knows I’m one of the only non-fake ones.
Ouch! That sucks and you really to talk to her about this. Don't be afraid to speak your mind. Also, look to make some new friends outside of this group.
I ddnt read all wuestion But if that person wa ted to meet u, that person could have spare time if not too busy. If making excuses, means not want to meet i think
Sometimes people don't know what they are saying, just to be funny, you can always figure out these things. People know their addresses, it was an excuse.
That was my point too. On top of the fact that she's saying they're best friends yet never knew her "bestfriends" address. Sounds like they're just associates from school and she assumed they were besties
I agree with you that your still too young, i'm just speaking in general...
All i can say to you is to never give yourself fully to anyone and when you make friends always expect the worst so you won't be shocked and just treat them the way they are treating you...
These days real friends are very rare, everything is changing to the worst sadly!
Just put one thing in your mind, if your best friend made you sad someday and started making distance between you and her, just to know thay she doesn't deserves a friend like you and that you deserve someone better than her...
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