There's a woman that lives near me and worked at my university. I've always admired her edgy style and beautiful daughters. When I went to study at uni my mum told her and she really helped me out of a sticky situation. We went out one or twice together. On one occasion a girl randomly took her photo (so rude) and she was so upset. But on another occasion she and I were talking and I complimented her style. I said I liked her boots but enquired if they were heavy, I was curious because I had some boots with a slightly higher wedge and I remember my calf felt so worked the next day... Anyways I think she took offence because she seemed to slow her speech. I actually really liked her. I put it in the flirting section because there's no category here for friendship.
Is it offensive to ask a friend if heels like this are heavy?
It's fine, but also platforms are slightly heavier of course, I like wearing platforms sometimes even if it's just under two inches.
How they are all-day for some vary depending on your weight and fit. Like a heavier person might not be as comfy all-day in platforms compared to someone more fit.
Thanks for answering... I imagined they were. I kinda hoped she might say that or just make a joke like she doesn't need the gym I dunno it was just a light hearted interest.
this is not an offensive question, and I am not sure she felt offended... but maybe she just felt in a certain way... and speaking from experience. lol
people who dress "differently" get a lot of questions, comments on the daily, especially women... so, I think this could have been more of a reaction/reflex to you inquiring about something she has dealt with, maybe for years or decades... so I do not think she was offended just a bit cautious about the question...
I think she was offended for that reason. We are both black women, she's alternative in a goth way and I'm alternative in a I dress however the mood takes me in a more fashion way. I was being bullied for simply being black at university and not fitting the "ideals" certain students had. They basically sabotaged me so they could win. And she stood up for me as an employee of the university and family friend. Anyways some of my challenges was expressing myself through my clothes, hair and art. They ripped me to shreds claiming I was a fake. They basically tried to get r to explain everything about myself as my torture, they knew the questions were hostile and I was fanned if I did and damned if I didn't answer. It was to drive me out.
I'm guessing that hostility is normal to her and just as unpleasant. I hadn't even thought about it. I asked to relate to her not to insult or add more injury. I thought that by speaking to her about something she was interested in, it could spark a conversation. But maybe that was compromising her teacher, student relation?
I'm not entirely sure but I guess that makes more sense.
I don't know about the particular circumstances and perhaps there's more details that are a factor but... one question alone, a question about boots should not be enough to offend a goth girl... at least not in my experience... but again, it all depends about particular circumstances
I don’t really understand why she would find that question offensive. Unless maybe it’s something she gets asked all the time and she’s tired of hearing it? So now I’m curious…was her answer yes or no?
If someone is wearing boots similar too those in the pix, they should be very accustomed to being asked questions! As such, they should be able to accept any answers without really being "offended".
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