My parents hate me and are trying to force me to move out, what do I do?

Question

( I'm only 14 pls be kind!! >.< )

My dad has broken my door multiple times (currently is) and my whole family is constantly yelling at me. My parents give my other siblings treatment that I can only dream of receiving from them. Recently, I have been depressed and have not been getting grades to my parents standards, which has resulted in a lot of punishments and yelling at me. Things that they do to me are: taking my whole door, taking my devices and any way of contacting people, cancelling any of my plans and won't let me go anywhere other than school, constantly looking through my room, not letting me eat, turning off the wifi for long periods of time, hitting me, making me miss out on things that they do for my other siblings, get told that they hate me, that they wish they only had 2 kids etc. Recently, its been at its worst, so bad that my dad is yelling at my mum to find me a counsellor to get me a foster home. It's not that I don't want to leave, I am afraid of becoming someone else problem. Not only that, I don't feel comfortable leaving this house. I've lived here my whole life and living in a new house with new people is something I'm afraid of. I do almost constantly fantasise about moving out on my own to the city and living in my own little apartment and being responsible for myself. Sadly, I am too young. I am writing this because I want advice and I have no one to go to, I feel trapped and cold. I would love to move out and become independent but I can't…

ChrisMaster69 · Accepted Answer

You need to break this down in to manageable chunks on what you can deal with short term, what the art of the possible, what is a mid term goal and long term, also where you need help or it’s not really achievable.

First things is talking to a counsellor, you really need to sit down with one and work things out with them. You may find at some point it becomes family session (the counselling centre I worked at, we would initially talk to the teen / young adult, and then the most receptive parent and then both parents and then family group.

Before that you need to make a bit of a list of what has been happening, cause and effect sort of thing.

what happened prior to a punishment etc.

Also have you any relations, older siblings, older cousins you can talk about this to?

If you have a school counsellor, it’s worth having a talk to them,

They cannot make you homeless, they have a duty of care.

Rather than chat to guys, I will tag some people that may be able to comment or offer some other advice and coping strategies.

There is also a case of trying avoidance, just avoiding anything that likely triggers a punishment, knuckle down for a month with avoidance and do not let them grind you do.

@harleigh90 @Chlo3_2001 @ez-bri-z @CrazyGirl2

Rather than guys making suggestions to a 14 yr old girl, you are all closer to her age and also helpful girls.

Mynameisbobby · Accepted Answer

Just reading this made me feel overwhelmed, I kinda know how you feel having been through something similar. My advice if you can't talk with any family I would suggest talking with a school counselor about your situation. I was lucky in the sense that I had my uncle take me in and then adopted me. They should not be hitting you or saying the things they say to you. I know how alone you must feel not having any support from your family especially. I would start with a school counselor first if you have no other family to talk with about this. The important thing right now is getting help and taking care of yourself first. I wish you the best.

Apulu_3 · Accepted Answer

Just report them to police! Gosh are they even parents? Why did they even gave birth when they don't know how to raise kids equally and properly. Your story breaks my heart. If you need mental help then I'm here for you to make you feel better. My utter most advices now is when you are in school say it to a teacher or councillor, bunk school and go to police station and report your parents for abuse, call child support number of your country. You just need to ask out for help just you did now. Next time when you get your phone then use it to call child support or report them to cops. And if you can do then try getting a part time job for safe side incase they throw you out from home. Don't think you are alone. I'm with you. Even though I can't really go and save you, I can make you feel better mentally and strong so be free to PM me if you want.

Crazycookie23 · Accepted Answer

I had it hard too and suffered this same type of abuse and mistreatment from my parents.
Don't allow it like I did because now even though I am an adult, those things that they did still traumatized me.

Call Child Protective Services on them and try to go to a shelter. I KNOW it seems scary to make that kind of move because you love them and you're use to them and making that kind of move seems scary, but it's not worth waiting it out until you're an adult. They could possibly push you off the deep end and you don't want it to be too late.
Run from them now and get the help

Emiliamazing · Answer

I wonder if you can get ahead of the situation, before your father specifically gets into one of his rage moments, and share something positive about your day with them, even if it’s not something that normally excites you. Sometimes heading off anger with positivity can lead you down a better road. I feel bad for you. We all have value and some thing to give the world even if it’s not what others are expecting us to give.

Razp_Sorbet · Answer

You have a few options here. You can try talk to your parents, tell them how you're feeling and how the things they are doing are only making it worse. They seem narcissistic so that could just fail. You could see your school counselor and try work through your problems there, they can probably also help with your grades. Lastly you can go to the police, which would possibly result in you going into foster care anyway (as well as your siblings).

TheSpaceGnome · Answer

This is uncomfortably relatable.
You need to report them for child abuse. Ask a friend if you can barrow their phone to to record how your parents are treating you, back up the data on a flash drive and hide it from your parents, then show it to child protective services. If they want you out, fine, but they shouldn't get off scott free for being abusive.

UniquelyBasic · Answer

Im sorry your going through this. Is their some other family member who you can get into contact with? Id suggest doing that if you can as your only a kid and theirs not a lot of avenues for you to take.

Siren777 · Answer

This is awful. I am so sorry that this is happening to you... My heart goes out to you. You need to report them for abuse and neglect. Get the cops involved first and ask to speak to a social worker. I hope you find a way out of this.

SomeGuyCalledTom · Answer

You just described a literal abusive relationship. I don't know what to actually suggest besides GTFO pr call the cops or social workers. Just know that it's not your fault and you are worthy of being loved.

SamIam96 · Answer

What an awful situation. My heart goes out to you. Do you have nearby friends or family that can put you up for a short while?

GoodGuyBreakingBad · Answer

It's sad to think your going through this but you are not alone and you need help to speak up to someone older who you can trust and let them know this is not something you take lying down

Anonymous · Answer

I think that you need to talk to a counselor. Plus if you are in a bad situation sometimes going to a foster home is better. Though these days it is more miss than hit. You'd think that the government would do a better job vetting people.

HaveNoName · Answer

I am heartbroken at reading this. Please someone older in the family to hear you out. Even if a community group needs to be contacted, you need to do it through an elder.

skyeee_ · Answer

this is so heartbreaking... i hope you sort it out!

Cuminginside · Answer

This is a long shot but can you find a church group even though they are hit-and-miss.

Nagatoro · Answer

I'd highly suggest calling Child Care Services and reporting them or find a friend who will let you stay with them for a bit and see if they can help.

Wise4myage · Answer

Find a job and start saving lots of money. Then bail the minute you turn 18.

Shanemichaels · Answer

They can't kick you out at 14 why do they hate you? I'm sure your not that bad of a kid

Iron_Man · Answer

That’s illegal you can’t be kicked out at 14

Kurdistan1991 · Answer

seek refuge in Allah with patience and prayer

urpapi69 · Answer

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My parents hate me and are trying to force me to move out, what do I do?

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