You have this guy friend you've known for ten years. He likes you- he's asked you on dates before but you've always said "no" because you don't want a relationship. But you're close. He comforts you when you struggle- most recently with the loss of a family member, flying to a different state to care for your nephews. You talk and hang out often, sometimes at each others' places. He is always there for you and stops whatever he's doing to help you. He recently bought a house and took a management position at a major company. Your mom likes him. You feel safe around him and trust him with your life.
He recently started dating a girl. He's even introduced you to her. You immediately become jealous and insecure. You call and text your "friend" more often, telling him you "think of him". You buy him things that you know he likes. You drop subtle criticisms about his girlfriend. You invite him over for dinner one evening. He feels something is "off" but you say everything is "fine". Your conversations seem normal and casual. He continues talking about his girlfriend and being excited to meet her family. You're confused. You don't know if you really love him or not.
You can't take it anymore and decide to ghost him. Cold turkey. No contact. Your friend is obviously confused and worried. After a month of ignoring him, he comes to your apartment door. He knocks but you don't answer. It's pouring rain outside. He has keys to your place but he doesn't come inside. He sits down with his back against the door and begins talking as if you're there. He says he loves you; that he always has. He observes you're hurting and he says he's a bad friend for hurting you, but he doesn't know why. He says he will walk out of your life if means you'll be happier, but he at least wanted to say goodbye. He stops talking. You...
He recently started dating a girl. He's even introduced you to her. You immediately become jealous and insecure. You call and text your "friend" more often, telling him you "think of him". You buy him things that you know he likes. You drop subtle criticisms about his girlfriend. You invite him over for dinner one evening. He feels something is "off" but you say everything is "fine". Your conversations seem normal and casual. He continues talking about his girlfriend and being excited to meet her family. You're confused. You don't know if you really love him or not.
You can't take it anymore and decide to ghost him. Cold turkey. No contact. Your friend is obviously confused and worried. After a month of ignoring him, he comes to your apartment door. He knocks but you don't answer. It's pouring rain outside. He has keys to your place but he doesn't come inside. He sits down with his back against the door and begins talking as if you're there. He says he loves you; that he always has. He observes you're hurting and he says he's a bad friend for hurting you, but he doesn't know why. He says he will walk out of your life if means you'll be happier, but he at least wanted to say goodbye. He stops talking. You...
