My friend wants to take a friendship break for a bit, how long could it last, and will it make our friendship better and stronger when the break over?

[Anonymous]

Truthfully, neither of us have been the greatest friend lately. I always got told no to hanging out, lost my cool about it, and then was told we needed a break. We’re still friends and follow each other on social media, so I think they still want to be friends. Just sucks bc this happened at a time I’m going through some major issues, they have also been going through some stuff lately as well.

[Anonymous]

Honestly there’s no time stamp on these things, maybe they need a few days or weeks, maybe it’s more long term. All I can really say is that people come and go, so it’s important to be ok on your own. I don't know how they contributed to wanting a break, but judging off what you said, it seems like at least on your part you were a bit codependent and possibly overbearing, which can be a lot on someone in general but especially when they’ve got their own issues happening. I totally get wanted their support, company, or someone to vent to, but you have to respect their time too and find ways to cope when they can’t be there.

[Asker]

I think you might be right. I definitely didn’t mean to do that. I hope it doesn’t last for a super long time, because I do care for the friendship, as do they. I will give them the space they asked for, and let them reach out when they’re ready. Hopefully, sooner than later. Thank you.

[Opinion Owner]

Definitely the better route, and in the meantime, maybe find some ways to manage your feelings without relying on them, whether it’s a journal or therapy. If and when they do go back, consider setting some healthy boundaries between friendship expectations and partner expectations. Of course I’m not sure if this is a guy, but just the way you seem to want their time/shoulder, it feels like a boyfriend rather than general friend. If that’s the case, then maybe a relationship is what you’re looking for — a companion to go through things with. Also, no worries!☺️

[serious]

Sometimes breaks can help get a better understanding of things and how the relationship (in your case friendship) is.

Well, your friendship can become stronger than before but the downside is taking a break is generally not a good sign and can lead to complete break up of friendship.

You can only hope for the best.

[Anonymous]

"Break" is always code for end in my opinion. Why would you EVER need a "break"? Unless it's not going well or good.

[Asker]

I’ve taken breaks from friendships before bc I had a lot of personal stuff going on, and didn’t want to burden my friends with it. But I see your point.

[Opinion Owner]

Even then, you just keep you're personal stuff to yourself if you feel that way, but the friendship itself doesn't need a "break". And you also have to be careful because like me, you can give your friends the wrong idea/impression as well.

[Asker]

I see. Wrong impression/idea? We’ve admitted in the past to have feelings of more than friends, but we both agree nothing more could happen beyond friendship. Once/when the “break” is over, I won’t ask them to hang out ever again or tell them personal things.

[Opinion Owner]

Well that's the other thing also, friendship vs dating or romantic. A difference. But in my opinion you should never need a break. It's an "easy way out" or avoiding the true issue/problem. Like you say even, "when the break is over, we won't hang out again". Just end it vs the "break". Then there's no miss understandings either.

[Asker]

See, I still disagree. There was a time me and a super good friend took a break for a while. She had a lot of stuff going on, i didn’t know about, as did I. I don’t remember how long it was, but we reconnected after a while, and our friendship is the strongest it’s ever been. I didn’t say we wouldn’t hang out once the “break” is over, just I won’t ask again, and leave in their hands if/when we do. I don’t know what all they have going on in their life. So I feel like it could be what happened with my other friend where we just needed time apart to re-evaluate our friendship and deal with some of our own personal issues.

[In_Trance]

Does this friend have a penis?

[Asker]

Why? If they do what does that mean?