Should I continue or should I break up the friendship?

[glennos89]

Me and this girl are really close friends for many years already and we became best friends!

Sadly my feelings for her have developed over the years in a way that I wanne be more then just friends with her and I have tried to tell her this but she has been trying to avoid a conversation about this which gives me the obvious idea that she doesn't feel the same for me.

The problem I have is that my feelings are effecting me more and more in a negative way and sometimes it hurts me a lot when she is telling me who she's dating and who is having sex with and I'm really suffering because of that.

I don't wanne throw away years of good and genuine friendship with her because of my feelings for her but I don't wanne have constant nevative feelings and pain because of the things she tells me about her love life.

I'm really at the point where I feel I might have to break up the friendship that has been great for many years to stop the pain it's causing on me but on the other hand I don't Wanne lose that friendship so I'm torn in half right now

What should I do? Break up the friendship or continue suffering under it?

[itsalyssaagain]

First of all I am so sorry you're going through this! I guess this is why a lot of guys dodge the 'friend-zone' right away when they realise that there is potential for developing feelings later down the line.

I would say that you have to put yourself first - whatever that might mean to you.

You could break the friendship and cut her out of your life, but will this be good for you?

You could distance yourself and communicate with her much less than before?

You could also start dating other people and it might help you move on?

You have to dig deep and think to yourself what would really help you feel better.

One thing is for sure, and that is it's not really fair that she tells you intimate details about her love life, knowing you have feelings for her. She also seems quite adamant on staying friends so the likelihood of that changing as things are right now seems very little. Maybe when you shift that energy and choose yourself, she might realise that she's losing out on you.

You know what they say - if you 'love' someone set them free, and if they come back they're yours.

[glennos89]

Thanks! This is really helpfull

[itsalyssaagain]

You’re most welcome!

[Guy13]

Deal with it or move-on. She’s feeling your pressure too.

[Anonymous]

If your suffering and it can't be changed, than its time to end that friendship.