Do you think I have reasons to resent and regret having my child?

[Anonymous]

I didn’t want another child at all and it’s a long story but I couldn’t get an abortion. My child’s father is a deadbeat. I realized that having a baby after your 20’s is extremely draining and then discovering the child has some sort of behavioral problem is upsetting and exhausting. I just feel bitter and wish I never had my child. Just wondering if under these circumstances what I’m feeling is normal?

Yes

No

[Robbey]

You feel the way you feel and it’s more common than you think. I’ve had similar issues, I didn’t want to have another baby after my third, but I still got pregnant again and it was difficult coping. In my second marriage, I didn’t want or expect to get pregnant, but I did and at 45, I had another baby. That was extremely stressful, but I managed.

Being a mom is difficult and stressful in the best of times. What matters is that you deal with and process your feelings. It’s also EXTREMELY important not to take out your resentment and regret on your child. S/he didn’t ask to be born.

[devilish-cutie]

Its normal to feel that way but you should also take up your own responsability. Once you have sex with someone you risk of pregnancy and a child is always there. you also took that risk and now you have to deal with consequences.

[Anonymous]

The feelings yes, but also realize you're upset with yourself, it's not the child's fault, and those feelings shouldn't be directed towards them ever! They still need a mother that loves them. So maybe therapy or counselling would help with those feelings?

[FilmGuy93]

No. There is absolutely no excuse for a parent to resent their child. That child didn't choose to be brought into this world; they deserve better than to be resented for something that wasn't their choice.

[boggboss]

Its normal but you are the only one to blame not the child your resentment is due to your shit choices

[ZS007]

I think you should talk to a therapist to sort out this feelings they are not healthy.

[Anonymous]

No, because it takes two to tango and you played a part.

[Opinion Owner]

Resenting your child is totally unfair to them.