Would you be upset if a friend doesn't reciprocate a birthday gift?

[Anonymous]

I know that you shouldn't give with the expectation to receive. But would it bother you if a friend doesn't get you anything for your birthday when you got them a nice gift for theirs? I bought my friend a necklace for her birthday, and she just sent me "happy birthday" (not even a longer text) for mine.

[Anonymous]

All throughout my high school/college days I made sure that my friends group had amazing birthdays. I would show up at their jobs and surprise them with a birthday breakfast, sneak presents into their lockers, I would plan surprise parties, planned surprise trips, I would call them at midnight to make sure I was first to say Happy Birthday, I decorated a friends dorm door with balloons and treats...I mean, all out. When my birthday rolled around each year, these same people did absolutely nothing. Half wouldn't even try to show up for a birthday dinner I "had to plan" because no one else would, many would forget my birthday, and I rarely if ever got gifts.

Having a birthday in December sucks (though I'm no where near Christmas) but people treat it as if it's a throwaway month for anyone with a birthday. So admittedly after years of this, I got really frustrated and threw a pitty party fit, which turned into a not so surprise party for me on my birthday in which they all magically had gifts. In all seriousness, all I really wanted was for them to actually acknowledge that hey I matter too, and would like someone to care about my birthday, but just rushing something together where you're telling people at the door, "oh it's her birthday," didn't feel great. How do you not feel at least a little in your feelings about that or in your situation? It jus feels like they don't care.

[Emiliamazing]

I think the world around us moves incredibly fast, and there are always going to be some individuals sad can’t quite keep up with everything that is going on or that they should give attention to in their life. Obviously there are other that factors play into whether or not your friend neglected to properly note your birthday, you know those factors better than the rest of us.

I personally wouldn’t hold it against any of our close friends, because I know them well enough and understand that their lives are hectic, just like the rest of us.

[burlen]

Not at all.

Gifting should be voluntary. If you are gifting hoping to be gifted, it suggests to me you are a sly, your act of gifting has an ulterior motive.

It suggests to me your gifting isn’t genuine. In fact, you are gifting because you are hoping for something in return.

I would reject your gift if I know that is the thinking behind your gift.

[Adam1978]

No, since she sent a text, it means she wasn't invited to the party. You can't expect gift from people who isn't in your inner circle.

[dustybiker]

The mistake would be yours in this case. Never expect. Gifts should be selfless.

[sheikalana]

Not at all. I do not gift people with the expectation of them to do the same.

[Paul09]

Nope. Gifts are silly. I just want to spend time with friends. Usually good drinking and partying. Or do some activities. Experiences over materialistism.

[Hardworkingguy]

I agree with you we usually give gifts without expecting anything in return but it does seem kind of uncomfortable but then I'll get you anything after you gave them something for theirs

[exitseven]

Yes, this would really piss me off. It might be petty but it is what it is.

[Anonymous]

I never got anything for mine no card no cake not even a happy birthday from anyone not even the woman I love

[Anonymous]

No. I hate getting gifts