Does having social anxiety and being very shy mean that you are weak? I’m shy but I like to work so I’m trying to move forward?

[xJayleenx]

My unemployed mother of 13+ years told me this the same woman that asked me to sign her up for jobs and told me that she didn’t want to work because she’s going to lose a check that she gets. How am I weak when I’m trying to move forward? And going to college? I think weak is not getting jobs and giving up like she does.

[ZackBan]

Being shy is a not a natural phenomenon it's usually caused by something and often times it's poor parenting.
Having courage is being afraid but doing it anyway.
You moving forward is a testament to how strong you are and out of app people your mom doesn't get to say you're shy and therfore weak since it's her failure as a parent that made you the way you are.

Don't let anyone get in your head. You're doing great. Keep it up

[xJayleenx]

I honestly don’t know what it was. I did grow up with a verbally abusive mother, and a sweet father but he was always yelling and that scared me sometimes lol. My family did make comments about my weight growing up and that did affect me too but I think just the severe anxiety was because of my parents. Also they were very strict I've never even been to a sleep over before and they didn’t let me go to anyone’s house especially if they were muslim. Then they complain about me being shy when they didn’t allow me to do anything.

[ZackBan]

While my parents couldn't hold a candle to yours they too did raise me with an isolation mindset often commenting on any company I keep and suggesting I'm better off without them.

As I result I grew up to be someone who's slow to trust for better or for worse but also has a problem opening up and expressing himself and letting people in. To which my mom no says "when will you grow out of it?"

The difference is I distanced myself from them by going to study abroad and now getting a job there and as a result I slowly but surely am becoming a natural member of society. And I'm better for it and they love me even more now for it.

My point is : we don't get to chose how we start this life. But we get to chose how to finish it and you need to take control of that choice yourself. Do not let your upbringing define who you are forever maturity is when you evolve past it.

[xJayleenx]

I don’t have money to go abroad but I think my new job at a grocery store will help me with my anxiety and shyness because I’ll have to do cashiering and stuff. The best that I could do is work and save right now.

[ZackBan]

That's a great first step. Work and save is good and if you have a bank account you should open a saving plan option it helps you keep track of your finances.
Also the job will do wonders trust me. It did for me. I only got good at socializing when I started working as a consultant project manager I spend my days talking to people and it made talking more natural than it's ever been (granted I already had a social life over the past 6 or so years to be fair, but still there was an improvement)
So don't worry about not being to afford traveling or even moving out just yet, focus on getting the experience it takes to break out of your shell and wonderful things will happen to you

[art84]

Weak is being afraid to take risk. I am shy myself but don't see it as a weakness as you have to power through it. Good for you for wanting to change yourself and your life and wanting to do something with your life. You're mother obviously just wants a handout and take the easy way out. Hope your goals are met in the future and don't let anyone tell you that you can't accomplish anything in life.

[VIVANT]

It takes courage to be shy and push through. People who are shut ally outgoing have an advantage. You may always be shy so you may have to try that much harder. No you are not weak, Jay. 💕 💪🏼

[melanieeeB]

Not at all, it just means that you're very shy and anxious and I think you could work on that a little but it's not weakness.

[melanieeeB]

Oh and as a person with social anxiety and going to college and out in the world, that's impressive! I had a friend who also had s. a. but she quit school in her last year and I guess is still unemployed... I don't know haven't talked to her in 5 years or so

[ChiTown33]

Not weak. Just not very assertive. There's an old saying "If you don't have a plan for your life, someone else will". Life will kick you in your teeth. After that's happened enough you'll get assertive.

[gag6474]

no your not weak, actualy your strong for being who you are

[gag6474]

for you being your self*

[xJayleenx]

Thank you 😊

[Shy_Steve]

I'm Shy aswell, So I have been single most of my life so obviously it must mean that I'm seen as weak at least by the opposite Sex.

I'm just trying to move forward aswell, That's all we can do pretty much.

[Sparkie460]

You are far from weak. You have social anxiety and you deal with it every day. I think you are a strong woman. A weak person would hide from the public and never come out.

[AngryCarl]

If you have social anxiety that's another thing you can blame your parents for. It doesn't mean you're weak, it means you need to be extra strong. Like a peppermint.

[RealMarek]

That’s nonsense. Being shy or reserved does not equate to weakness.

[GoodGuyBreakingBad]

Having Social Anxiety does not mean your weak

[888theGreat]

Democrats pay people not to work, so if it is only a little more to work, can you blame anyone that doesn't want to work?

[pizzalovershouse]

No just not trusting of many people's actions

[hbkfan]

Not really you could just have a hard time trusting people like me

[Philyouup]

stop with “ am I weak”. it’s bullshit. Anxiety is a mental thing. most people need help to get over it. it’s like saying i got cancer because i’m weak. just stop saying that

[Noahzaid]

I wouldn’t judge her but you’re doing great.

[Guardian45]

Ya, that's messed up.

[Debbie14217]

no way... good luck!!!

[TallAnon]

There's your nature and what you actually do.

[saffoler]

Nope