Is it smart to have a baby at 23 without a career and both parents in dead-end-jobs?

[Anonymous]

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Updates

+1 y

So, my little sis decided to bring forth a life at the age of 23 with her boyfriend who is also 23 who is poor and in a dead-end-job and her also in a dead-end-job. Is this a mental problem? Or coping?

Updates

+1 y

Oh also, I think she’s a narcissist, and she’ll dump the baby on our old parents while she goes party with her Simp Boyfriend.

[D_Bone_Steak]

It's really hard to say with the way things are now. I see young people having to do shit like living together just to get by... stuff like two couples living in a 2br1bath. The idea of throwing some kids into all that sounds like a hot mess.

Some of them really seem to live it up with the college loans and then seem like broke ass burnouts when the money is gone, and they picked up random drug habits.

I don't blame this younger generation for just wanting to skip the whole kids stuff. The ones that do though, I really hope they're planning well and able to manage themselves financially. I mean the kids are going to suffer if they don't.

Gone are the days of buying a house and putting yourself through college with a part time McDonalds job.

[Asker]

Well that’s what I’m doing. I have a new car and its almost payed off completely I did that with my guard job and in a couple months I’ll be in the police academy and I’m working armed guard now to get there.

[exitseven]

We were 26 when we had our first. I had a crappy job and my wife stayed home with the baby. We really struggled and had a very hard time for many years. These kids will have it worse. I feel sorry for the baby. She should give it up for adoption. The boyfriend should be sterilized.

[Asker]

LMAOOO I AGREE! 😂😂
I hate that intruder freeloader

[exitseven]

Thanks for the MHO😎

[Anonymous]

I guess it doesn’t matter whether they are smart or not if they already have the baby on the way. Being poor is definitely not the ideal life to bring a baby into but if they do what they can for it financially and love the baby unconditionally then ultimately that’s what matters. Hopefully parenthood will mature them as well. I’m sure you would immediately reject that notion but you’d be surprised what birthing a child and holding it in your arms can do to make the realization of everything hit. I had the most immature, partying, player brother who denounced his baby mama up until the baby was born, now he’s really shaped up. I was surprised for sure.

[Asker]

I only met one person like that. A tough badass NewYorker, one of those Spanish Nuyoricans.
He had 2 babies at 16.

Now at 25 he looks like he went through pure Hell because of it. And due to how young an immature he was, he cheated on his baby mom

[Asker]

Should I tell my Father, because he doesn’t know yet. And my mother is so religious that she told me not to tell. She says she doesn’t believe in abortion and she wants to wait for the baby to grow bigger

[Opinion Owner]

Honestly I would leave that to your sister. I don't know if she has any announcement plans at all, but since it’s her pregnancy she should be the one to share the news. Stress is bad for the baby, so if your dad were to blow up on her out of anger or whatever that would be terrible.

[Asker]

I think she’s. 3 weeks in

[Opinion Owner]

Hmm, it may be longer than 3 weeks because usually you don’t know you’re pregnant until after the first missed period and that could be about 5 weeks. Could you talk to her about it?

[Asker]

I want to but it would break my trust with my mom. My mom wants me to keep my mouth shut. 😖😖 I don’t know what to do I’m so conflicted!! How can someone do this to a child I think it’s evil

[Opinion Owner]

I understand your concern, you don’t want your parents burdened with a baby, I felt the same way towards my brother. Everything about him said he would be a terrible dad, and he’s not a fantastic one now but definitely better than the credit I gave him. Maybe your sister deserves the same consideration and will also surprise you. If you absolutely must say something then let it be to her, not your dad because that will create hell at your home for everyone. If your sister is still early then you could have a serious talk with her about her choice and if she has a plan going forward.

[Asker]

Thanks this is the best answer so far 🙏🏻🙏🏻

[Opinion Owner]

No worries! If she’s early in there is still plenty of time for her to turn her life around, and I’m sure that in order to live under your dads roof he would require she make those sorts of changes. My brother was working at Jamba Juice when his baby mama got pregnant, lived at home, played video games often and partied hard whether it’s was the bar or club. Not to mention he barely did chores because he was spoiled and babied all his life. Now He still lives home but has found a job that pays more so he can move out with a roommate. He’s cut back on drinking, smoking and is more mindful of messes because the baby (now toddler) could get into. It’s really matured him! If your sister keeps the baby I really hope it can do the same for her.

[AsaKyo]

That's a terrible idea lmao

[sage2021]

I had my first and only baby at age 23, but I was married. We didn't have a lot of money even though we both worked full-time jobs. I just had to look for the sales on things for the baby, and that really helped.

But I must say, that I wouldn't bring a new life into this world the way things are now. No way!

[Asker]

And how are things now? Just asking for info.

[Sixgunsound]

For her physically, 23 is fairly close to the ideal to have a baby. For them financially, probably not tthough. It sounds like we (taxpayers) just involuntarily adopted three more welfare leeches. Yay.

[Asker]

LMAOOOO

[Puppystarfish23]

Honestly if you live in the UK probably yeah. You will never have to work a day in your life and will get given a house and everything whilst hard workers pay endless amounts of tax for a child they didn't choose to have

[Puppystarfish23]

And they can't afford a house because of it

[Asker]

FOREALLL!!! 🫢🫢🫢

[Puppystarfish23]

Pretty much yeah. I used to have girls in my class at school actually say once they leave they wanna be single mum so they don't have to ever work and so far it's going well for most of them

[exitseven]

It happens in the US all the time. The more kids you have the more money you get.

[Puppystarfish23]

@exitseven same in the UK

[Asker]

I’m not about to ruin my body and bring forth a brat, for money and to be a couch potato.
That’s a mental problem.
What’s healthy is when a man and woman have a career and can support themselves and their kids

[Haha456]

if you have to ask this question, it means you're not smart.

having a baby while you clearly do not have the financial resources will only make you and the baby suffer.

[Asker]

Read the description

[Untrаnnify]

Sometimes, for some people, having no children is better regardless of where the parents work.

[Asker]

That makes no sense and doesn’t answer the question

[Untrаnnify]

Yes it does. You did not provide enough details about your sister. Some people are just guaranteed to make the child suffer, and you aren't sure about her. She is working dead end job.. well if she gets children doesn't the "government pay" her instead of the job?

In my country it does, so working at a job would not be an issue as she would be able to quit.

[20yearsolder]

The age part is irrelevant, if you have two deadbeat parents then it's not a good idea to have a child at all

[Asker]

What does DeadBeat parents mean? Sorry for my ignorance?

[20yearsolder]

Deadbeat means they don't try to improve themselves. Obviously they are mature enough to raise children when they still want to drop them off at their grandparents and go party when they don't have money to waste like that.

[Asker]

Should I tell my Father, because he doesn’t know yet. And my mother is so religious that she told me not to tell. She says she doesn’t believe in abortion and she wants to wait for the baby to grow bigger

[20yearsolder]

Why are we talking about abortions, the child is already born. Unless she's pregnant again. Whoever the grandparents are needs to tell them that they're not watching the child. They don't have the money to go out and waste partying they need to spend it on food and clothing for their children. Should you be a tattletale, no you shouldn't It's really none of your business. You should be an aunt to the child.

[Asker]

NO, she doesn’t have a child, she’s pregnant for the first time right now

[20yearsolder]

I misunderstood, I thought you said that she was dumping the child off at the grandparents while she went and partied. No one can force her to have an abortion. As long as the child is taking care of, fed and bathed and clothed there's not much anyone can do. She's an adult, she no longer lives under her parents roof. About all that can be done is people support her. That doesn't mean handing her money. That means loving her child and helping out when it's convenient for the grandparents and you

[Asker]

No, she lives with us!! She’s under my Dads rod, with her poor boyfriend. No career and GOT PREGNANT!!

[20yearsolder]

This shit is too confusing for me, she lives under the same roof as you. The only person that knows she's pregnant is you? They need to kick her ass out along with her boyfriend

[Taylor_C]

Very stupid. I feel sorry for the kid who isn't going to have much of a future.

[Asker]

So, my little sis decided to bring forth a life at the age of 23 with her boyfriend who is also 23 who is poor and in a dead-end-job and her also in a dead-end-job. Is this a mental problem? Or coping?
Updates
4 h
Oh also, I think she’s a narcissist, and she’ll dump the baby on our old parents while she goes party with her Simp Boyfriend.

[Asker]

Should I tell my Father, because he doesn’t know yet. And my mother is so religious that she told me not to tell. She says she doesn’t believe in abortion and she wants to wait for the baby to grow bigger

[HighValue]

Are either of them trying to better themselves financially? Like going to school or anything?

[Asker]

NO!! 😑😑😑😑

[HighValue]

Then it is a bad idea if neither of them intend to do anything to better themselves/their family's financial situation.

[red324]

Eh. When you got nothing, you got nothing to lose. She can get her shit together at 33 and the child will be 10 and can probably be left at home at that point while she goes to work. Hell she can spend those years doing online college classes.

[Asker]

Should I tell my Father, because he doesn’t know yet. And my mother is so religious that she told me not to tell. She says she doesn’t believe in abortion and she wants to wait for the baby to grow bigger

[red324]

It's not your dads baby it's yours. Do what you want, but it sounds like your mom doesn't want to rock the boat anymore than necessary.

[LoneleeGirll]

@EmyyWolf it's not your place to tell anyone about the pregnancy. Only your sister and the dad to be have the right to inform him. How would you feel if you were pregnant and someone decided to go and blab. You would be pissed off. Do you know how many people out there with crappy jobs went onto have kids and now they are out there owing their own homes working in a job that is better paying. Just because they don't have a good paying job right now, doesn't mean they aren't capable of taking care of a baby or that when the baby comes they won't get their shit together.

[Asker]

@LoneleeGirll
So they need to wait until the innocent infant comes for them to get their shit together? 🤡

[LoneleeGirll]

@EmytWolf yeah I'm the clown. How about butt the fuck out of their business.

[Asker]

@LoneleeGirll
And make my innocent old ass patents suffer the consequences?

[Fromdusktilldawn]

Not to be judgmental but here you see this mostly in lower class people. Those with the least money, reproduce the most.

I think its not smart. First get your life together, be mentally mature enough, have a stable income and place to live. If I were in your parents place I'd report her for child negligence.

Because of people like her, we have abortion

[clampfan101]

If they’re barely able to take care of themselves, how are they going to care for the baby?

[Asker]

And my sister’s room is a complete disaster. Should I tell my father because she’s still in his house

[Anonymous]

My sister did that, but her boyfriend got motivated when the baby was born. He got a better job and paid for his son's education at an excellent private school.

Some people work harder and become more motivated because they dont want their kids to go through what they went through.

[Guardian45]

If you're sister and her boyfriend are SIMPs, then their kids should be removed by the State.

[Asker]

What do you think Simp means. But the guy is a momas boy and my sister a daddy’s girl

[Guardian45]

They were old enough to breed; they're old enough to face the consequences of their actions. Your family should NOT pay for their mistakes!

[Asker]

SO SHOULD I TELL MY DAD

[Guardian45]

If it were me, yes. And I would also tell the State Child Services!

[Guardian45]

Better the child is adopted by parents that want it!

[Asker]

Yeah I’m about to do it. That’s not fair to my father.

[Lynnfriend]

Yes if you love each other and both want the same thing you will achieve it no matter. The child will give you more incentive to work harder

[Guy13]

It’s never smart to have kids. S we here’s your determination and heart?

[Asker]

What?

[Untrаnnify]

There are always logical reasons or excuses not to have babies.

[brezzybaby]

Babies always make things better. Hell I was only 14 and when I lost my vcard I got Prego I never had a chance and I don't believe In that abortion shit

[Anonymous]

Ever seen the beginning to the movie Idiocracy? this is what's killing society. The stupidest people keep breeding. 😆😆😆

[sheikalana]

Absolutely not. Who's going to provide for the baby?

[7offman]

Logically speaking it’s not a wise decision however, most people do stupid things and somehow things works out in the end so who are we to judge 🤷‍♂️

[PainusNdeeAnus]

She sounds smart having a baby at such a young age

[Farmerboy2]

I wouldn’t want too but people do it. Not smart if you ask me

[Summeroflove]

This is between you and your husband.

[Asker]

READ THE DESCRIPTION 😑😑

“So, my little sis decided to bring forth a life at the age of 23 with her boyfriend who is also 23 who is poor and in a dead-end-job and her also in a dead-end-job. Is this a mental problem? Or coping?
Oh also, I think she’s a narcissist, and she’ll dump the baby on our old parents while she goes party with her Simp Boyfriend. “

[Summeroflove]

Why do you care what she did?

[Summeroflove]

Well if she’s a bad person that’s a shame. But its not my responsibility to tell someone what to and what not to do with their life.

If she’s married and wants kids it’s fine. If she’s doing bad stuff…. Another story

[Asker]

She not married, she has a dead end job, her man has a dead-end-job, and my Dad is the BreadWinner

[Summeroflove]

Oh well sorry then. She might be a degenerate but if she don’t listen to you nothing you can do

[Summeroflove]

Yeah the whole narcissist thing I think you’re onto something.

[DevinAM]

It does not sound like a great idea

[DonOmar6]

Absolutely not

[soe11]

I don't think so.

[BeyondBirthday]

No. But up to you.

[Asker]

“No” what?

[BeyondBirthday]

No it isn't smart, but it seems they already did it.

[Asker]

And is it not smart

[Asker]

HOW is it not smart. That’s the type of answer I want

[collie22]

If you want a baby

[Anonymous]

It's a risk.