Is 23 too young to have a baby?

[Anonymous]

I'm 23 and I'm going through a weird phase where I want to become pregnant and have a baby. Many of you will say that I'm crazy for feeling this way. Thing is, my boyfriend of two years is feeling this way too. I know by many standards 23 is way too young to become a parent and get married. I just don't know why I feel this way.

Yes

No

Depends

Updates

+1 y

MHO was a MISTAKE. I would still like some more opinions. Thanks

[DanAG]

It's not about age. It's about where the two of you are in life, how good the relationship is between you, and your financial condition.

I notice you didn't mention anything about getting married. While I don't consider marriage an absolute must, it is a big plus. More importantly, it's a good indicator how committed you guys are to each other.

Try this. Go to the grocery store with your boyfriend. Get a cart and load up your own things like you'd normally buy. Then add a bunch of baby food and diapers. LOTS and LOTS of diapers and baby food. Then add up the price and see if you can keep that up week after week. That stuff ain't cheap. Not even counting other things you need, your grocery bill is going to go WAY up.

[imbittered_punk]

Physically 23's mid way through the time to have babies. Nower days you're barely a fully functioning adult. Fuck it it's only your's and the kids life to fuck up, make this decision on a whim.

[Asker]

That's pretty harsh don't you think? Don't assume we'll fuck up a kids life. It's really just a feeling. I obviously know what I'm capable of handling. Don't be such a douche

[imbittered_punk]

I'm just saying if you don't do a good job you're going to unleash another asshole that get's in my way when i'm trying to order coffee or cloggs up the roads because they can't make a right turn.

[Asker]

Yeah, don't need more of those. We already have you to deal with :-P

[imbittered_punk]

I didn't ask to be here.

[Asker]

I made a mistake by selecting you MHO. I hate iPhones. But you get the credit.

[AshleyMD]

People of any age can screw up their child's lives.

[imbittered_punk]

That's true. I'll always say don't have kids if people ask me my opinion.

[BuchitaBuchys]

Why the dislikes? This man is right.

Unless you truly don't want a kid, don't bring the poor fucker into this world. I'm a firm believer that kids should only be brought into the world if the parents are fully ready and want the kid. If not, don't bother. Cuz then the kids end up becoming shitty adults.

[Asker]

@BuchitaBuchys two thumbs down isn't a lot. Same way he's entitled to an opinion, so are the ones who thumbed him down. Mind you, it's merely opinion. Nobody REALLY know how someone will turn out. People come from shitty families and turn out to be great adults. It's called resilience. Secondly, I don't know if you noticed but it's purely sarcasm if you read the rest of his comments.

[Asker]

@BuchitaBuchys

[BuchitaBuchys]

Damn babygirl chill lol

Sarcastic or not, it's true. Seen all those dumb broad on 16 and pregnant? People think having kids is like buying an electronic. No, you can't just have it for like 1 or 2yrs then return when you realize you didn't really want it.
They're babies. Humans.
I'm not saying all unwanted kids become shitty, but a good amount do.

[BuchitaBuchys]

And it's not even the kids fault either. It's the parents.

[coupbb]

Well... Take a look at my situation. Been with my man for four and a half years.. We have lived in our own for three. (He is 24, I am 22) He makes kick ass money, and I make okay income. We pay our monthly bills on time like car payments, cable. We can afford to do pretty much whatever we want in the sense that we have extra income after bills... So basically if you are not living at your parents, you drive, extra income, and mentally ready then go for it! I want a child however I'm a very impatient person, so I'm waiting.

[AshleyMD]

23 seems old enough to take on that responsibility. People have kids way younger than 23 and they seem to work things out fine. No one looks at people when they have kids when they are really way too old, so why should people judge if they're young, you're not even that young for a kid, a little below average.

[haddleduddle]

It all depends on what your desires, aspirations, priorities are in your 20s. I am 23, too and I have no desire to have one. Think about the practical part of raising one, too, and if you're really up to all of it, cuz it's a lot and it limits a lot of things.

[Anonymous]

Well, that's biology. As much as we like to assert ourselves over everything, ultimately we are still animals that want to procreate and pass on our genes. In times past, 23 would not be too young. In fact, I don't think it is too young at all. The question is whether you and your boyfriend have the finances to support the baby and yourselves with a good quality of living. If you do have the finances, then why wait? Because society is telling you that you have to be a 30+ year old C-level executive controlling the world before having a kid?

[Asker]

I agree.

[1932ct]

it depends on the two of you some people now days are very immature at much older ages and some are very mature at even younger ages. the fact is age doesn't matter except for psychical ability to have children the important thing to to be absolutely sure you are both wanting a child and READY to make the lifestyle change that come with that responsibility

at 23 I already had my first and the 2nd was almost out of the oven

[Theguyoverthere]

You can pull it off, but it's unlikely that you're setup to do so. I only recommend it if you can give the kid a good life which unfortunately is dictated by your living and financial situation. If you and your boyfriend have a good career and house to raise a kid in, then sure go for it. But if all you got is some $9.00/hr job and you're living with your parents, don't do it.

[Prof_Don]

If you and him are financially stable, and u feel the guy won't bail on u when the kid is born... I see no reason why not.

The issue is that most couples these days at that age, aren't financially stable enough to have a baby.

[Anonymous]

I think 23 is a good age to start a family. I always hopen to have my first baby when i turn 23, i'm not 21 and doesn't have bf so it's too late for that. On The other hand in my oppinion, you should never have a baby when you aren't financially ready yet.

Make sure you both have a job
A home maybe (not persee, you can still raise your kid at your moms place if She doesn't mind)

[Opinion Owner]

I AM 21*
Financially stable*

[Asker]

Finances aren't the issue between the two of us. I don't know if a third person would change it. We most likely won't be able to travel like we want so maybe we should get that out of our system first.

[Opinion Owner]

Based on what you said, i think you should wait.
I didn't read your question properly But you said you guys are teo years together.
I defitnitly think you guys should wait. 23 is a good age yes ofcourse, But i really think you guys should spend more time with eachother.
the moment The baby is born you are going to hve a lot of responsability and you Will have to give up on Some things.

[BertMacklinFBI]

generally, I would say yeah. 23 is not enough life lived to have a stable setup to raise a child. I think the cost of raising a child from 1-18 has increased from like $250,000 to $400,000

[Asker]

It's actually a half a million from the time they're born until they turn 18.

[BertMacklinFBI]

wow it went up to $500,000. fuck me.

[foreverfree000]

no you are not very young bc if you feel like that it only means you are mature and ready to get in such situations! if you want go for it! age doesn't matter!:)

[LastGirlScout]

If you both genuinely know what it entails, have you lived together long? Do you have enough money to be able to take the time off needed?

[Asker]

We lived together for close to two years. It'll be two years by February . He owns the home that we live in. I just live in it.

[LastGirlScout]

What reasons do you have for not having a baby considering its something you both seem to want.

[Asker]

Whats stopping us is not being married yet. I don't see myself doing a shotgun wedding just to get pregnant. Our folks are already religious and didn't want us to live together. The last thing they want is a bastard grandchild.

[Asker]

Also, I wanted to go to grad school next May as I know it's obviously a better choice to finish all of that before babies.

[LastGirlScout]

So go down the courthouse/church and get married. Have a lovely reception in your backyard. Get friends and family to bring food and drinks instead of gifts. It's easy to do, it doesn't have to be a huge affair.

[LastGirlScout]

That would definitely be very very difficult to do with a baby. Wise move waiting if you want to go to school.

[Asker]

Thanks. That actually sounds nice. I don't see myself doing the church thing anyway. I know that I would just need support.

[springocelot]

Biologically, you're at the right age. But it would also depend on how emotionally and financially ready you are to have a baby.

[maroonbro]

Wait till you become stable financially, raising a kid requires a lot of time and money, so it's better if you are rich enough to take care of one

[badger25]

For me no way! I'm almost 25 and I'm still learning how to take care of myself. No way am I ready for a family

[inlovewithyou2014]

I think you should be married and at least wait one year in a marriage before having a baby.

[SurströmmingLover]

For me it is too young. But if you feel sure about it and have thought a lot of it, then do it. Only if you don't study or work many times...

[Klaatu51]

23 is very young in my opinion... enjoy your life don;t throw it away

[Maazin]

Depends how stable you are at the moment. anyway its primetime for anyone to have a baby at that age.

[CommieDearest]

As a 23 year old, I'm going to say yes.

[Asker]

I know right. I should be worried about going to clubs and having fun. I don't know why I have this sudden urge. Maybe it's just a phase. I figure in 10 years I'll think that my biological clock is ticking lol