Should unmarried mothers give their children, their fathers surname?

[ariadneR]

[Anonymous]

I gotta friend who's kids are named after the father's last name. He's gone for being abusive, psychotic, etc. I think they should have her last name, but she says it doesn't feel right to do so. She doesn't like her own parents so I guess I get it, I don't know. I guess the choice should always be up to the mother on whether or not they want their kid's last names to match. It can cause unexpected issues, though. Like when you have a chance of address or something and they start asking for last names.

[Red_Arrow]

It sounds like the child is living with the unmarried mother. If their surnames are the same it would seem normal to other kids. If they have different names, it can be confusing, and draws attention to the difference. Best to both have the same name.

[DizzyDesii]

i don’t think it has much to do with being unmarried, but more so if he is deadbeat or absentee... I personally wouldn't give the kid his last name in that case. I’d honestly prefer the kids have part of my last name if not all. Since I’m considering in vitro, the kid would get my last name

[ariadneR]

Agreed. Another reason I'd give thwm my name is if I was an only child and my dad's line wasn't continuing.
My exs baby mama gave their son her last name because her dad was murdered.

[dustybiker]

My friends kids father was a piece of work. I won’t tell you how he met his end. But long before that their boys asked their mother if they could legally take her name. I think they were ten and twelve at the time. They went through the court process and were much happier. All their idea.

[OfDeath]

Tell us you murdered him without telling us you murdered him

[dustybiker]

@OfDeath lmao

[Weapon77]

Eh, do whatever feels right. If the father isn't acting like a father and trying, like if he ran off, he doesn't deserve children with his name even though they have his DNA. But a father who puta in effort should likely at least get them named after him.

[catiecatie]

If they have been together for awhile and plan on getting married yes. My ex dumped me then about 4 months later got another girl pregnant. She had the child, but the babies last name is not his. I think they broke up and honestly I don't know if he even knows he has a kid with her.

[Anonymous]

Definitely not. My sister has multiple kids with multiple different men… the first four all have the same fathers, but it’s mixed for the others. It just reflects negatively that they all have different last names. The kids should all have the same last name as the mom! She birthed them. And ideally she’ll be married to the man she has the same last name as because she took his. If she’s not married and not planning to change her name to match the kids, she should have the same name as the kid from the start.

[AviatorTom]

Depends on the situation. If the mother and father are living together, but not married, then they should collectively decide what family name to give the child.

If the father is not part of the mother's and child's life, then No, the child should have the mother's family name. When the child gets older, the mother should explain things and let the child know who their father is.

[Nik1hil]

Yes, Both Father and mothers name should be there!..

But if the man withdraws from his duties as a father!.. He is no longer the Father and then His name needs not to be given!..

But if the Couple is Bf-Gf and they have a baby and raise it together till puberty, Fathers name should be there..

[Anonymous]

Depends on the circumstances. If it was just a casual fling and the father is not present in the child's life, then no. If the father is present and being a good partner and father, and the only difference is the lack of a marriage certificate, then yes.

[bamesjond0069]

Depends if they plan to have fathers help and associations as an adult or not. If the father is a pos who will never be around and is a broke druggie, no way. If the father is say I don't know a well known professional around town, a certain amount of benefit conveys with the name especially if he acknowledges the child even if only towards adulthood.

What men offer that is most valuable to children is primarily in adulthood, certainly not to young children.

[tiajoka]

At that point it’s too late to do anything for the kid lol. Maybe the 6month baby doesn’t “need” the father. But at least a year in and it does. Kids that grow up without their dad are statistically fucked unless yeah he’s a pos and the kid only meets them as an adult to reaffirm that.

[tiajoka]

The only lesson that dad ever teaches is, “here’s what not to do”’

[bamesjond0069]

@tiajoka no. Father's primary purpose in raising children is to turn the child into an adult. Father needs to turn the boy to a man and turn the girl into a woman.

[tiajoka]

They do that by raising them from children into adults 💀

[bamesjond0069]

@tiajoka not really. They could literally be there zero as long as they had a lot of influence around age 13 or so.

[tiajoka]

Statistically that’s gonna hella fuck them up but go ahead and test it 💀

[bamesjond0069]

@tiajoka why would that Hella fuck them up? Whether my dad wiped my ass a few more times or not isn't going to drastically change my adult life. Whether he was there to push me in terms of teaching me how to be a man, work hard, dating advice, push me to be proactive in career opportunities, how to deal with people to get ahead, be responsible, that's what a dad would teach a son. Women cannot teach most of that because they don't understand how men are at all so how would they teach how to be something they aren't? It's a little different with a daughter but the fathers role is to make her feel safe and be an example and gatekeeper for men she dates. No father she just flies blind because clearly mom doesn't know shit if she's a single mom.

[electromagnetic]

The way I see it, the dead beat made the baby with me. Whether they like it or not, it’s their last name. Doesn’t mean my child is gonna be like them.
I might get muddy and confusing if the child has my surname.

[tiajoka]

Wouldn’t it be less confusing to have the same last name as your kid if there’s no man?

[ChillaxingLove]

Yes. You will start confusion. Think of the child, what if something happens to you and they grow up and don't know who their dad is, but they want to know. At least they have a starting point if the father isn’t in their life anymore

[CateM]

If they're unmarried or she kept her maiden name, I think they should hyphenate the child's surname

[Guy13]

If there is a contractual agreement, whether signed certificate or court order support, the child’s name definitely should be the Dad.

[SexyRedd1966]

Yes I totally agree with this because, Papa was a rollin stone lol... You don't want your kid dating their sibling

[BCA6010]

Unmarried? I wouldn't think so, especially if the father isn't in the picture.

[Anonymous]

No mother should give their children the father’s surname. It’s an old tradition that doesn’t make any sense to me. I truly don’t understand why women still do it

[kylee2437]

Yup I think so, because that’s what identifies the child being his to the public eye.

[oddwaffle]

Your kid, your name. What if the kid ask why your name is different from his?

[SixFootSexy]

If his name isn't on the birth certificate, he shouldn't have to pay child support.

[Anonymous]

It will make it more difficult for future generations to track their ancestry if you don't stick to convention.

[Sparkie460]

If the mother is raising the child on her own, no I don't think she should give the child the fathers last name

[Bklynbadboy12]

I think they should for legal purposes if nothing else and I love your profile pic as usual your stunning

[ariadneR]

Someone recommended I change it, so I thought, why not. Thanks.
Especially on if you see yourself being with that person in the long run. If he's an absentee father, or he plays around, then I'd give them my name. Another reason I'd give them my name would be if I was the only child, and my dad's line wasn't continuing.

[Bklynbadboy12]

True you can hyphenate it then

[CuriousMufuxka]

Yes, as it is tradition. Just kidding! As long you don't give the kid a shitty first name everything should be fine.

[Keishio]

Can do what they like. The kid gets a choice after a certain age anyway so it's never really set in stone

[TallAnon]

The one that the kid is with can take the decision.

[nawtee_me]

Only if he is paying child support and a part of the child’s life.

[serious_miss419]

The birth certificate is created prior to a child support matter.

[nawtee_me]

@serious_miss419 Yes but a lot of guys when they find out she is pregnant become ghost or don't want anything to do with it. In that case no they shouldn't. If they want to get married then yes

[serious_miss419]

I understand what you mean, very fair

[Anonymous]

No, she should hive them hers. This way her four kids won't all have different last names.

[Anonymous]

Absolutely. Without men kids wouldn’t be here.

[Anonymous]

Depends on the father. Did you tell that father that you had a kid with him or you just hided it from him?

[_Just_A_girl_]

no maam unless they will provide for kid

[OfDeath]

Yes of course.

[Heolurt]

I think that's their choice.

[Bricealan]

Your choice.

[KrakenAttackin]

Absolutely.

[Dav1dTh0ma389]

Yeah

[Caramelpie]

Ah yes!

[Guardian45]

If they agree to.

[krin_m]

If she wants.