I specifically told my then fiancée that she didn’t need to take my name. It’s her that wanted to do that. I guess she’s traditional that way. I’ve asked lots of women the same question and most answer this way. It’s weird when I think of my own daughters. Do they think of their last name as temporary? Does their family name mean less to them than it would if they were sons? I will ask them this. It’s a good question and it has always bugged me because there is something unfair about it, isn’t there?
This is like most recent questions here where girls/women are like "what use are men to the society?". Definitely children don't take father's last name always. I suppose your argument is that children should never take father's last name. Most times when there's separation, the kids end up with the woman. Is that fair?
I mean to say that the mother has to physically suffer to give birth to the children. Nowadays the mother is also the provider but men get offended if the woman wants to give the child at least her middle name. In my culture, women are supposed to change their middle and first name after marriage (sometimes even first name) and the children will get the fathers first name as their middle name and his last name as theirs. My question wasn't "what's mens use?" it was rather why are women not given the same rights as men? Most men would never marry someone who doesn't change her name. Also if the subject of custody occurs, I think the parent who deserves the best should be given.
You framed it as a global question. Some places are still very traditional and the yea the scenario you described doesn't seem fair to women. In such setting, even men who are open to change are reluctant because society will view them negatively
Well, I may be a special case... But my father took my mother's last name when they married so I ended up with my mother's last name.
But, for you... It depends, are you married, did you change your name to his or no?
If you aren't married then the baby can have either name.
She doesn't have to. The children can have a double name and she can keep her's or also get s double name. But it seems like most women don't care about this.
If my women say this, i'll tell her to stay at her parents house, don't need a woman like this...😒
Opinion
65Opinion
Well, in European cultures the idea of a last name started during the middle ages, mostly so the Church, and Crown could keep track of people. Before this, in Germanic Europe, your "last name" would be the name of your father plus "son" or "daughter". This is where you get last names like Robertson, and Williamson. In Celtic cultures they would use Mac instead, which is a word for son, therefore MacDonald, MacPherson, MacIntosh etc. By the mid 17th century, this was the common practice, patronymic names. Move ahead to now, most countries still use patronymic names, except one holds one to the name of his/her father instead of just identifying themselves to their community by their father's name. So basically, it works that way because traditionally, that was how Medieval Europeans identified themselves to the rest of their village, and culturally it has been preserved.
Also, nowadays a woman doesn't have to give up her name, that came with Christianisation in Europe, and much like many Middle Eastern religions, the doctrine is inherently sexist towards women. But now, people can really do whatever the fuck they want with their names. There are even men who take their wives' names now
Because women value themselves too damn much you do understand that no matter what you do you couldn't have that baby without the seed of a man right? Even if you carry and birth it for 9 months the only reason you are able to do that is because a man decided you were worth the effort to give you his seed. The baby takes the last name of the father because in a traditional family the father is the one who provides to everyone with work and destroying his body just so he can keep everyone else alive and healthy.
Cuz the father is the one who takes all responsibility for the family. He is in charge of protecting and providing for the family, which includes taking responsibility for his children, and he is also the one who takes all the flak from everything...
And feminists say we're crude and ungrateful, disgusting beings. Then wonder why we act that way and turn on our family when all we try to do is protect them.
It's our name that gets dragged in the mud when a member does something, says something to the wrong person, etc. If a man is accused of something terrible, his family is affected too. So, aside from the children getting up and working, as well as the mother, the man usually provides money, a home, comfort, food, stability, and security for his family. And all he wants back is respect, comfort and encouragement. I'm pretty sure women would act as bad as men if roles were swapped. If not, than something just as equally mortifying.
Correction Miss a women does NOT !! > Have to take the husbands last name , and if its the husband were talking about it would look weird. If the kids last name was. texas same as moms then the dads is idaho. So how would you say Mr and miss ________.. Plus when you are married you are meant to be one mind and one body cause you found your soul mate for life and you don't care what others think about life and stuff you do what you want and screw the others who have a difference of option. Point simply
I don't think that they have to, at least not in America. Most people do because of tradition. in my opinion it is simply to carry on the family lineage. Historically families were big, so it was likely that there would be both sons and daughters in a family. The sons would carry the names of their fathers and the women would help continue the language of a different t family, continuing to make children with their name. In modern times more families are having only 1 or no children, so now the question comes of how does lenieage continue for family lines? The answer isn't easy but all options should be considered. For example, if a family only has a daughter, and she is marrying into a family with multiple sons, the couple should take the last name of the family with the single daughter so that their lineage continues. Otherwise, I see nothing wrong with following the tradition.
1. Historically women left their parents and went to live with the husband.
2. Sometimes the woman provides as much, other times more, other times she abandons them so she can party and do drugs.
3. Sometimes the woman cares for the child, but usually not in a vacuum where the man is not paying the bills. Other times it is reversed. Other times, the woman abandons the kids to go party and the husband does everything by himself.
4. Many times the kids get hyphenated surnames.
5. Yes, I am describing myself in the abandoned man sections.
I would have no objection to taking a wife's name if the husband's name is long and difficult to pronounce and the wife's is easier. In my case, mine is Pershing and my wife's was long, spelled strangely, and usually mispronounced, so there was no discussion.
Man represents family.
There are ways working out that if man isn't present, then child gets to carry mother name.
Its a fair thing to carry dad's name.
Women dont contribute necessarily to a country, still they have many rights over men! One way or the other one day women might rule😂😂😂, but thats just so lame, women not being women and competiting with man everywhere, for rights equality power money etc.
Every corner women are gaining much today, crossing their limits & beyond. All coz of people like u who think too much & never get satisfied...
It's tradition.. The mother is more aattached to the child (birh). The father made it possible. Give him something. And from a customer service perspective it just makes it all a pain in a** to for instance check in a family at airport with multiple names and hyphens and ridiculousness. Also multiple names may be too long for most legacy computer systems and parts get chopped off. Just too many names and hyphens. Just pick a name. Give the father some visible attachment. Your birthed it, that's your visible tie so to speak. Wife wants to keep her name, fine. Then she looks weird for not fitting into the family.
A strong independent woman knows that to fight over a last name is one of the most important things in life, even if it's means to end up as a single parent. :)
besides running the family tree for longer. I dont think it matters. It is still your child. I never got my fathers name however. Early in my life he was took away from me.
I dont know why it isn't like [First name' 1st last name ' last last name] 1st being either the mans or the womans then the 2nd being the other
Those are just my thoughts though.
if a child is born out of marriage then it is a choice on the birth certificate for the parents and many cases whereby some fathers are not present at the birth the child may take the mothers last name...
it is not mandatory or rather not as it was centuries ago
It can't. If wife on marriage certificate took her husbands last name then that last name is automatically given to their child. You can do what you say if a couple is not married. But with married couples their child can only have last name that is written on marriage certificate. Parents choose only first and middle name fir their child. At least this is how in Europe things are done.
@zaxxx it can as it doesn't work like that...
a female friend of mine chose her last name for her son, on the birth certificate..
and also if the father is not present then the mother is not allowed to put his name on the certificate regardless, here in the UK it works like that
and as for last name, the parents can choose what last name they want on there but is usually the mother's or father's last name
but have known some people to choose different last names such as the mother's maiden name even if they are married or with the father present
so yeah it can
I just ran fast through UK things about childbirth and it says oppositive of what you are saying?
Because what you are saying is that wife has husbands last name and gives a child hers maiden names. That would mean that that child would be hard to identify to whom that child belongs and just one case why that is not allowed is because of birocracy, there would be a mess with papers and identifications.
The most "unsexist" answer will be: So that people know who the father is, just to make sure. It's probably very ancient custom because men use to leave the wife for hunting or whatever macho stuff they did, it was probably a sign of loyalty and faithfulness and in certain cases royalty etc.
They don’t have to. It’s up to the couple. If a woman wants to she’s perfectly capable of hyphening their last names (and having children with hyphenated last names), and the man is perfectly capable of taking his wife’s surname if they agree they want to do that. No one is stopping them from doing that.
A man gives the woman a seed and she turns it into a baby. Everyone knows the baby is hers because it came out of her, but no one is sure (without any tests) who the father is. Giving the baby the last name of the one who made it possible to have the woman develop a baby inside the womb is only logical.
Plus, it doesn't mess up the family lineage.
Whether someone agrees or not, males are the dominant sex throughout history and they still are because it's biologically set.
Women don't get to have every goddamned thing.
This is just like how you hog blankets, you can't see somebody else having anything at all without seeing three good arguments why you deserve it more.
You can't have all the blankets and you can't get to decide every fucking thing about the kids. Creep.
Perhaps this can explain it... google is your friend. :)
www.quora.com/What-is-the-history-behind-the-wife-taking-the-husbands-last-name-surname-after-marriage
They are not. In Europe they can take mothers maiden name. And husbands also usually deside to go for for their wifes last name. But last few years the trend is that both partners take from each other last name and add it to their own. Their last name get a lot longer but if you ask me that is the only good way to do marriage right, after all marriage is about sharing not forcing own side on partner. Right?
I did state that which name they take doesn't really matter anymore. I'm not saying stay at home mothers or fathers have it easy, but any job you can do in pjs, while listening to the TV or music isn't really that hard. Ut is basic light manual labor that requires little brain power, while you can play and have fun with the kids. The only times when it may be hard is when the kids get sick. Cleaning, cooking and looking after kids is
simple.
i hardly ever think of this. Its funny because it is definitely true, and weird. The only possible explanation i have is that since it has mostly always been a tradition for the an to be the head of the household, i guess it just moved onto the rule that women have to obey and take the last name of a man.
I totally agree it's unfair but that's how things have always been probably Because the father 'invests' financially in the children (not anymore) but this is an old trend & that's how things were in old times, that is, the father earns & pays & mom stayed at home (mothers are unsung heroines who worked even more than dad but never got paid)... I'm glad to have known some people who follow their mother's last name & no, they're not living with single mothers or step fathers,
Mothers have never worked more than fathers, and they get to stay home with kids and have some fun with them when the father worked an insane amount of hours often at a job he didn't enjoy.
Traditionally taking the fathers name makes sense, since he was working and likely more well known his kids may have an easier time getting a job. Now it doesn't really matter; people are just traditional
That's just absurd to compare "mother can have fun with kids" with "fathers have to do a job they don't like", well everything comes with pros and cons, it's the person's (here dad's) responsibility to choose a job & fate to get one which he might like or dislike, that just happens all the time with everyone doing a job, be it men or women, & in that sense, do you think women enjoy cleaning dirt & mess kids spill all the time? They're bound to do it coz they chose to be mothers, housewives are bound to do household work coz they chose to do it, and you really think it's all just fun to stay with kids? Then You're living in a bubble, raise one on your own without any help & see. "Mothers have never worked more than fathers", that's another bs, because it's quite known that a mother's involvement is always more & carries higher weightage in a child's upbringing naturally unless it's predecided by the couple to be otherwise. You're free to deny this but that'd just be mere ignorance,
had this been a discussion about stay at home wife & husband working out, Then I'd agree he might be into some job more demanding than those tiring household chores but they do require efforts & hard work as well if there's no maid to help, that cannot be neglected. Taking father's name is a traditional thing (doesn't necessarily make sense to everyone) and that is only because he fulfills 'financial needs' as per traditional setups & that's how things have been in the past, present scenario isn't the same anymore, but that's just my view, you are free to have one of your own.
Thats just tradition. You don't have to do it the traditional way though, my older brother and sister actually have our mother's maiden. You can actually name your children whatever you want and keep your maiden name after marriage. Fun fact: my ancestors actually had a tradition where the children's last name would be their father's first name.
i think it has to do with tradition and recognized and important family's names like the trump family for example. And i think inheritance of wealth and property and business also has something to do with it. now a days it doesn't make much sense though.
Because it is a traditions think about it you cam search your linage with your father surname it would be confusing if we change it now and anyway that surname is proof that they are his children etc i won't change my surname but i believe that kids should take father last name.
Because without the fathers last name the child is a bastard by definition. Aside from that. Try giving a birth without seed, kids come from their dad regardless to how stuck up, feminist or anti men you wanna be. Without your fathers balls you would have not existed.
It doesn't have to be like that anymore. Today you can discuss with your partner which name you would like to keep. Believe it or not, most women these days choose to take their husband's last name, so yes, it's fair.
Why isn't it fair? The woman can keep her maiden name, but usually wants to carry her man's last name, so she gives up her name to take his. That being said, the children are being born into that family name, taking the same name as the parents.
In traditional times it was because the man was the only person in the relationship who earned money - in modern times - men don't always do as much as woman.
In history it was a way to help bring families together and unite a family under one name, and besides men often do care for the child as well. You just need to look deeper than the stereotypes, for example I even inherited my mothers last name, and my brother in law is a stay at home father and cares for the kids while my sister works. Upon rereading it sounds a bit rude, and I don't intent for it to sound like that, but I can't think of another way to word it right now.
Yes it is, because a man leads his family and he's the man of the of the house and all religions say this... the wife and kids follow the man...
Um... Religion also says homosexuality is wrong. Does that mean we should go around killing people? I was asking from a logical point of view not some religious argument. I mean no one asked you to quote religion.
And who told you that i support the lgbt community or think that they are right?
And about quoting the religion, well that's my opinion... when someone gives you his or her opinion, you cannot dictate their answer just because you didn't like it...
To be simple it's because of Christian tradition in marriage, it is the man leading the family so the wife and the children take his family name. I think that's how it should be because the family should be united, but it's not like its the law, you can do whatever you like.
So he avoids questions like this
https://i.imgur.com/XtHQKml.gif
Reading things like this... I have no place on GaG :/
True. Nice profile pic by the way. You have grown some beard. 😃
@PrettyRegular 😂😂😂 thank you.
Can we stop questioning every single tradition in 2018?
THANKS.
Typically it's more important to signify the children as the man's legacy, since women are much more likely to reproduce than men. Back then, a family was something a man had to earn and achieve.
Its tradition, but it doesn't have to be like that anymore you can name your kid anything you want first middle and last names
women need not "give up" their name. i don't think the kids really give a damn. either way, they can always change it later, right? easy come - easy go. everyone's happy and gets their trophy...
When the parents get married the wife takes her husbands last name. So when the child is born they are taking the family name, not just the father's.
Father's last name is just default, parents can chose which last name to give or to give both.
Why father's is default?
As the ancient Romans said "mother is certain, father isn't"
So the family name was used to clarify paternity, inheritance etc.
Fathers die earlier in general because of hunting and war before so they use their last name as an honor then that tradition continued. I mean what's the big deal? I don't care if my last name change. It doesn't change appearance and personality.
Also for the remembrance of their death.
Because western societies are based on patriarchy and this is just one of the patriarchal traditions that haven't changed yet.
Its traditional among patrilinieag bloodlines which is very prominent in a lot of countries. But you have the option here to take on the mothers name too.
That's how it goes. I'm about to move to England. If I live there for good and marry someone, I could actually take her lastname, because my current ain't really an English name. Not something to think about now tho.
People are too lazy to break out of tradition even though the culture is constantly changing
Well if they're married the wife usually has the husbands last name and I know I'd do anything to not have my last name
They don't take - they are given.. a name. As for me, it could also be a number or whatever. Names are labels only to identify an individual.
I think it was originally an acknowledgement of paternity.
Because the west was built on patrilineal societies, duh. Princes inherit, not princesses. The name proves you are of the appropriate line to receive you inheritance.
Yeah it's fair that way. because the men have to put up with the women who think everything should be about them, and use the fact that they're the ones who give birth to children as a justification for that.
If you agree to it then yes it's fair. It comes from the fact that men would stay put in order to foster male cooperation and child rearing while women would go and join other families in other villages.
Well I don't know of this stuff but I can say you can have both of your parents name I have both my mother and fathers name ig it’s fair enough if both agree to give their names to the child
We men work hard to provide for our families and we also do our best to maintain it. I think we deserve our children to take our last names despite what bitter feminists have to say about it.
That's not the case anymore. Women taking the husbands name is voluntary and both parents have to agree on whose name the children will have. I habe my mothers last name.
Because if you hyphenate last names then the children will have triple hyphenated names, and their children will have quadruple hyphenated names and so on.
She doesn't have to. And kids can also have two last names (or just one - mother's OR father's).
I think it's some old tradition from the age when the men was supposed to be always superior to the women. Eventually it remains as some thing.
But if I remember right there's people that take the mothers last name.
It's by default
I think you can change it if you want
Because the woman already knows its her child, it came from her body. The man does not know 100% surely. If you have the last name of your mom people are gonna rightfully assume your dad is not your real dad.
But the man ia the head of the family
And why is that?
Because he is the one who is supposed to
@anmari2001, good answer and a nice lady 😊
Thank you Tony, nice lady you got there too, in your profile pic:0
Hahaha, that's a demonic nun 😉
Ik:D I hope the mivie ia good, I haven't watched it yet but I don't expect much either
Haven't watched it and i will never watch it because i don't watch horror movies talking about curses, black spirits, demons and ghosts 😄
Well then this is a very tricky profile pic then
I used to be scared of these movies but now I can't find one that ia scary
Such movies will gives you chills down your spine 🙂
Also my scariest teenage movie was child's play, 1st version of chucky the doll 😏
Yeaaaah, the chills and ita funny when the one you watch it with is scared as a chicken, so cute but fun
Oh really, that movie, maybe it was scary when you were little but its so old now, I will give it a shot one day
I watch bride of chucky and the seed of chucky, the new ones, it's true that they are more gruesome and the dolls are mutilated but the old one is creepy as heck, maybe because of the old screen, shooting cams and the music was terrifying unlike today...
Have you watched Annabel then?
*Annabelle: Creation
@Bruce_VVayne_ no way, like i said that i don't watch such movies about being possesed by an evil spirit... i only watch zombies and psycho killers snd monsters haha 😄 as for horror movies
You got me this time Bruce VVayne, but watch out
good for you, the movies are bad in my opinion
Oh so those are fine but not ghosts, well I understand I habe had nightmares because of these, zombies and other stuff are lighter
I analyzed your typo by using science. I am the World's Greatest Detective.
@TonyMetal86 You should watch The Conjuring. It won't bite heh.
Yea it not bad, you will like it :)
@Bruce_VVayne_ i know it won't bite men 😄 but the conjuring, we are still in the same genre of movies so i guess not 😏
These movies won't bite, but i need to sleep at night 😉
His legs may feel itchy while he sleeps *grins*
@Bruce_VVayne_ maybe who knows, don't wanna experience it 😏
Check under the bed before you go to sleep
Nope i won't because freddy kruger lives under my bed 😂
@TonyMetal86 It is very nice you guys live together so close back there. I feel happy for you, safety and peace mate.
@Bruce_VVayne_ thanks man and i still know what you did last summer, but it's ok 😉
Because of our historical roots, western society is patriarchal, nowadays last names are not a fixed thing, but why not keep both?
I agree, it's not fair, personally, I wouldn't find my children taking their mother's name, I think this can be a choice they make
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