Why are children supposed to take their fathers last name?

[Anonymous]

I mean it's the woman who has to give birth to the baby and take care of the child and in the modern times, the woman also provides just as much as the man. Then why is it that the woman always has to give up her own name and take the husbands name and also give birth to a kid who's eventually going to take her fathers name. Is it fair?

[Anonymous]

I specifically told my then fiancée that she didn’t need to take my name. It’s her that wanted to do that. I guess she’s traditional that way. I’ve asked lots of women the same question and most answer this way. It’s weird when I think of my own daughters. Do they think of their last name as temporary? Does their family name mean less to them than it would if they were sons? I will ask them this. It’s a good question and it has always bugged me because there is something unfair about it, isn’t there?

[Anonymous]

This is like most recent questions here where girls/women are like "what use are men to the society?". Definitely children don't take father's last name always. I suppose your argument is that children should never take father's last name. Most times when there's separation, the kids end up with the woman. Is that fair?

[Asker]

I mean to say that the mother has to physically suffer to give birth to the children. Nowadays the mother is also the provider but men get offended if the woman wants to give the child at least her middle name. In my culture, women are supposed to change their middle and first name after marriage (sometimes even first name) and the children will get the fathers first name as their middle name and his last name as theirs. My question wasn't "what's mens use?" it was rather why are women not given the same rights as men? Most men would never marry someone who doesn't change her name. Also if the subject of custody occurs, I think the parent who deserves the best should be given.

[Opinion Owner]

You framed it as a global question. Some places are still very traditional and the yea the scenario you described doesn't seem fair to women. In such setting, even men who are open to change are reluctant because society will view them negatively

[LunaBei]

Well, I may be a special case... But my father took my mother's last name when they married so I ended up with my mother's last name.

But, for you... It depends, are you married, did you change your name to his or no?

If you aren't married then the baby can have either name.

[yasii]

She doesn't have to. The children can have a double name and she can keep her's or also get s double name. But it seems like most women don't care about this.

[TonyMetal86]

If my women say this, i'll tell her to stay at her parents house, don't need a woman like this...😒

[Svengodofman]

Well, in European cultures the idea of a last name started during the middle ages, mostly so the Church, and Crown could keep track of people. Before this, in Germanic Europe, your "last name" would be the name of your father plus "son" or "daughter". This is where you get last names like Robertson, and Williamson. In Celtic cultures they would use Mac instead, which is a word for son, therefore MacDonald, MacPherson, MacIntosh etc. By the mid 17th century, this was the common practice, patronymic names. Move ahead to now, most countries still use patronymic names, except one holds one to the name of his/her father instead of just identifying themselves to their community by their father's name. So basically, it works that way because traditionally, that was how Medieval Europeans identified themselves to the rest of their village, and culturally it has been preserved.

Also, nowadays a woman doesn't have to give up her name, that came with Christianisation in Europe, and much like many Middle Eastern religions, the doctrine is inherently sexist towards women. But now, people can really do whatever the fuck they want with their names. There are even men who take their wives' names now

[RazmanianDevil]

Because women value themselves too damn much you do understand that no matter what you do you couldn't have that baby without the seed of a man right? Even if you carry and birth it for 9 months the only reason you are able to do that is because a man decided you were worth the effort to give you his seed. The baby takes the last name of the father because in a traditional family the father is the one who provides to everyone with work and destroying his body just so he can keep everyone else alive and healthy.

[Omaewamo]

Cuz the father is the one who takes all responsibility for the family. He is in charge of protecting and providing for the family, which includes taking responsibility for his children, and he is also the one who takes all the flak from everything...

And feminists say we're crude and ungrateful, disgusting beings. Then wonder why we act that way and turn on our family when all we try to do is protect them.

It's our name that gets dragged in the mud when a member does something, says something to the wrong person, etc. If a man is accused of something terrible, his family is affected too. So, aside from the children getting up and working, as well as the mother, the man usually provides money, a home, comfort, food, stability, and security for his family. And all he wants back is respect, comfort and encouragement. I'm pretty sure women would act as bad as men if roles were swapped. If not, than something just as equally mortifying.

[xkildy]

Correction Miss a women does NOT !! > Have to take the husbands last name , and if its the husband were talking about it would look weird. If the kids last name was. texas same as moms then the dads is idaho. So how would you say Mr and miss ________.. Plus when you are married you are meant to be one mind and one body cause you found your soul mate for life and you don't care what others think about life and stuff you do what you want and screw the others who have a difference of option. Point simply

[RSav4013]

I don't think that they have to, at least not in America. Most people do because of tradition. in my opinion it is simply to carry on the family lineage. Historically families were big, so it was likely that there would be both sons and daughters in a family. The sons would carry the names of their fathers and the women would help continue the language of a different t family, continuing to make children with their name. In modern times more families are having only 1 or no children, so now the question comes of how does lenieage continue for family lines? The answer isn't easy but all options should be considered. For example, if a family only has a daughter, and she is marrying into a family with multiple sons, the couple should take the last name of the family with the single daughter so that their lineage continues. Otherwise, I see nothing wrong with following the tradition.

[JackJPershing]

1. Historically women left their parents and went to live with the husband.
2. Sometimes the woman provides as much, other times more, other times she abandons them so she can party and do drugs.
3. Sometimes the woman cares for the child, but usually not in a vacuum where the man is not paying the bills. Other times it is reversed. Other times, the woman abandons the kids to go party and the husband does everything by himself.
4. Many times the kids get hyphenated surnames.
5. Yes, I am describing myself in the abandoned man sections.

I would have no objection to taking a wife's name if the husband's name is long and difficult to pronounce and the wife's is easier. In my case, mine is Pershing and my wife's was long, spelled strangely, and usually mispronounced, so there was no discussion.

[ROCKS128]

Man represents family.
There are ways working out that if man isn't present, then child gets to carry mother name.
Its a fair thing to carry dad's name.
Women dont contribute necessarily to a country, still they have many rights over men! One way or the other one day women might rule😂😂😂, but thats just so lame, women not being women and competiting with man everywhere, for rights equality power money etc.
Every corner women are gaining much today, crossing their limits & beyond. All coz of people like u who think too much & never get satisfied...

[CaBTX]

It's tradition.. The mother is more aattached to the child (birh). The father made it possible. Give him something. And from a customer service perspective it just makes it all a pain in a** to for instance check in a family at airport with multiple names and hyphens and ridiculousness. Also multiple names may be too long for most legacy computer systems and parts get chopped off. Just too many names and hyphens. Just pick a name. Give the father some visible attachment. Your birthed it, that's your visible tie so to speak. Wife wants to keep her name, fine. Then she looks weird for not fitting into the family.

[Berethor]

A strong independent woman knows that to fight over a last name is one of the most important things in life, even if it's means to end up as a single parent. :)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QxYplP8J2X4

[Shooter32073]

besides running the family tree for longer. I dont think it matters. It is still your child. I never got my fathers name however. Early in my life he was took away from me.
I dont know why it isn't like [First name' 1st last name ' last last name] 1st being either the mans or the womans then the 2nd being the other

Those are just my thoughts though.

[SjE78]

if a child is born out of marriage then it is a choice on the birth certificate for the parents and many cases whereby some fathers are not present at the birth the child may take the mothers last name...

it is not mandatory or rather not as it was centuries ago

[zaxxx]

It can't. If wife on marriage certificate took her husbands last name then that last name is automatically given to their child. You can do what you say if a couple is not married. But with married couples their child can only have last name that is written on marriage certificate. Parents choose only first and middle name fir their child. At least this is how in Europe things are done.

[SjE78]

@zaxxx it can as it doesn't work like that...
a female friend of mine chose her last name for her son, on the birth certificate..

and also if the father is not present then the mother is not allowed to put his name on the certificate regardless, here in the UK it works like that
and as for last name, the parents can choose what last name they want on there but is usually the mother's or father's last name
but have known some people to choose different last names such as the mother's maiden name even if they are married or with the father present

so yeah it can

[zaxxx]

I just ran fast through UK things about childbirth and it says oppositive of what you are saying?

Because what you are saying is that wife has husbands last name and gives a child hers maiden names. That would mean that that child would be hard to identify to whom that child belongs and just one case why that is not allowed is because of birocracy, there would be a mess with papers and identifications.

[SjE78]

@zaxxx I have known women to do that mainly when they have had bad or violent marriages...

[SjE78]

@zaxxx but if the father is not present then they will take the mother's last name and if the mother gives her maiden name then that is what that child would be known as

[SelfishGuy]

The most "unsexist" answer will be: So that people know who the father is, just to make sure. It's probably very ancient custom because men use to leave the wife for hunting or whatever macho stuff they did, it was probably a sign of loyalty and faithfulness and in certain cases royalty etc.

[CarpetDenim]

They don’t have to. It’s up to the couple. If a woman wants to she’s perfectly capable of hyphening their last names (and having children with hyphenated last names), and the man is perfectly capable of taking his wife’s surname if they agree they want to do that. No one is stopping them from doing that.

[9teen]

A man gives the woman a seed and she turns it into a baby. Everyone knows the baby is hers because it came out of her, but no one is sure (without any tests) who the father is. Giving the baby the last name of the one who made it possible to have the woman develop a baby inside the womb is only logical.

Plus, it doesn't mess up the family lineage.

Whether someone agrees or not, males are the dominant sex throughout history and they still are because it's biologically set.

[Bananaman177]

Women don't get to have every goddamned thing.

This is just like how you hog blankets, you can't see somebody else having anything at all without seeing three good arguments why you deserve it more.

You can't have all the blankets and you can't get to decide every fucking thing about the kids. Creep.

[Browneye57]

Perhaps this can explain it... google is your friend. :)
www.quora.com/What-is-the-history-behind-the-wife-taking-the-husbands-last-name-surname-after-marriage

[zaxxx]

They are not. In Europe they can take mothers maiden name. And husbands also usually deside to go for for their wifes last name. But last few years the trend is that both partners take from each other last name and add it to their own. Their last name get a lot longer but if you ask me that is the only good way to do marriage right, after all marriage is about sharing not forcing own side on partner. Right?

[nathanp97]

I did state that which name they take doesn't really matter anymore. I'm not saying stay at home mothers or fathers have it easy, but any job you can do in pjs, while listening to the TV or music isn't really that hard. Ut is basic light manual labor that requires little brain power, while you can play and have fun with the kids. The only times when it may be hard is when the kids get sick. Cleaning, cooking and looking after kids is
simple.

[AnnasiaB]

i hardly ever think of this. Its funny because it is definitely true, and weird. The only possible explanation i have is that since it has mostly always been a tradition for the an to be the head of the household, i guess it just moved onto the rule that women have to obey and take the last name of a man.

[Legendary_Shark]

I totally agree it's unfair but that's how things have always been probably Because the father 'invests' financially in the children (not anymore) but this is an old trend & that's how things were in old times, that is, the father earns & pays & mom stayed at home (mothers are unsung heroines who worked even more than dad but never got paid)... I'm glad to have known some people who follow their mother's last name & no, they're not living with single mothers or step fathers,

[nathanp97]

Mothers have never worked more than fathers, and they get to stay home with kids and have some fun with them when the father worked an insane amount of hours often at a job he didn't enjoy.

Traditionally taking the fathers name makes sense, since he was working and likely more well known his kids may have an easier time getting a job. Now it doesn't really matter; people are just traditional

[Legendary_Shark]

That's just absurd to compare "mother can have fun with kids" with "fathers have to do a job they don't like", well everything comes with pros and cons, it's the person's (here dad's) responsibility to choose a job & fate to get one which he might like or dislike, that just happens all the time with everyone doing a job, be it men or women, & in that sense, do you think women enjoy cleaning dirt & mess kids spill all the time? They're bound to do it coz they chose to be mothers, housewives are bound to do household work coz they chose to do it, and you really think it's all just fun to stay with kids? Then You're living in a bubble, raise one on your own without any help & see. "Mothers have never worked more than fathers", that's another bs, because it's quite known that a mother's involvement is always more & carries higher weightage in a child's upbringing naturally unless it's predecided by the couple to be otherwise. You're free to deny this but that'd just be mere ignorance,

[Legendary_Shark]

had this been a discussion about stay at home wife & husband working out, Then I'd agree he might be into some job more demanding than those tiring household chores but they do require efforts & hard work as well if there's no maid to help, that cannot be neglected. Taking father's name is a traditional thing (doesn't necessarily make sense to everyone) and that is only because he fulfills 'financial needs' as per traditional setups & that's how things have been in the past, present scenario isn't the same anymore, but that's just my view, you are free to have one of your own.