How did your parents have "the talk" about the birds and the bees? Did they actually explain how sex happens or refer you to a website?

Question

SnowedIn · Accepted Answer

So, my parents didn't say anything. Not sure where they expected me to learn. But, it was the school and friends and magazines and guessing and exploring with others my age.

But that was a long time ago. Here was my response to a question here on gag (Have you ever had to do the "talk" with your kids? What was your approach? ) that answers how I currently deal with it for my kids:

I (we) have! Four times. But it is not one talk. It's a foundation of how we talk about our bodies and a cascading series of discussions over time.

For us, it started with how we refer to body parts. We call them by their basic name. We don't go all Latin clinical medical terminology, but a penis is a penis and not a pp and vulva/vagina is exactly that, not some other euphemism.

Then, we practice the level of modesty that our each person is comfortable with. We don't make nudity something to be ashamed of nor something that needs to be exhibitionist or any extreme on any side.

For us, the natural opening for basic discussions was when my wife got pregnant with each subsequent child. The kids before were curious and asked questions and we gave them clear, concise, age appropriate answers. They could/can/did ask as many questions as they want. We answered.

Then, they've walked in on us at times. That offers an opportunity to teach that sex is a normal part of a healthy life and not something we should be ashamed of or shy away from.

We talk to them when they get phones and device access about porn and reality versus fiction, etc.

We talk to them about agency over their bodies and consent and other choices.

We discuss about protection and pregnancy and disease.

Then, they do get some education at school and we review that curriculum and expand on it, fill in blanks, correct misconceptions, etc.

We make an open environment where they can talk to us about it.

In short, it's an ongoing dialogue.

FunkyMonkee · Accepted Answer

They don't, anymore and, never did, at least not for me. I was in the house, probably the dining room, doing homework, or something, one afternoon and then my little brother comes in from out front and tells me that dad wants to see me. He's out front on the porch swing. I go out front to see him and he just says, in a fairly stern voice, "I just want you to know that if you have any questions about anything, you can come to me." "Okay, dad. Thanks." I went back in the house to continue what I was doing. I think I was in my mid teens but, by then, thanks to a number of my friends and dad not banning us from looking at his Playboy collection, I already, pretty much, knew everything so, I never HAD to ask. Now, I could practically become a gynecologist!! I even considered taking classes in it in college!!

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

I was raised in a country where this  birds and bees  talk is considered taboo and shameful. Honestly i like to believe that my parents didn’t, because it’s this one thing i can recall, my mom said that adults likes to fornicate and i shouldn’t do that because i can get pregnant and it’s sinful as well. My dad on the other hand, told me that i shouldn’t date until i finished uni or let any guy to touch my boobs because that can get me pregnant and he’ll kill both the guy and i. That’s it. So i decided to learn everything all by myself by reading a pile of my mom’s Cosmopolitan magazines i found hidden in a box in the storage room, surfing the internet (websites, articles, videos, pictures), social media (people i talk to online, fun informative sex ed posts on twitter/insta, people’s stories/experiences on Tumblr). Now i’m more educated than them; or safe to say that i’m not bland, i’m more open minded with a lot of sexual things as i think it’s natural and a part of us as a human being.

douride2 · Accepted Answer

My mother never talked about the talk. My father only told me to be careful. Problem was he was to late with that advice. If he had known what that guy did he may have killed him.

ShiftingMonke · Answer

They never covered it at all, letting the school and church representatives explain how abstinence is the only option and anything more will lead to sodomy with Satan and your hangdown rotting off.

I'll not make the same mistake with my children.

Jendcheuebc · Answer

Hahaha this brings back funny memories. I learned about periods in 4th grade. I got a pamphlet from the sex Ed class on periods and different types of pads. I’m weird and got excited about getting my period and even pubic hair 🤭 I remember I wrote a list of which pad brands I wanted to buy from and I was excited for the day I’d buy them. Lmfao! Also one day I decorated 2 boxes for my mom in her bathroom and labeled one as “heavy flows” and “light flows” and organized her pads for her. Also I couldn’t figure out tampons at ALL so my mom helped me insert them for the first time and it was awkward af now that I think of it. Anyway I support this education and think it’s vital information in schools. I just think it’s funny how I responded to learning about periods for the first time 😂

Paul_in_Indy · Answer

They definitely did not refer me to a website!

I think the first time this came up was before I was in kindergarten when my grandpa tasked me to looking out for heifers in heat and talked me through the insemination process while I watched.

Rangers · Answer

They never taught me anything about that, nor did they need to since they were dumb enough to leave a computer downstairs well out of sight when I was 9 years old

I was more confused than anything though when I looked up what sex meant and saw explicit videos

smashleyy · Answer

all my mom said was to let her know when i wanted to be sexually active so she could put me on birth control and told me to always make sure he wore a condom cause mens dicks are dirty😂. she gave me this “talk” a few months before i turned 18…I was getting raw dogged regularly by my boyfriend she didn’t know about since i was 15, whoops

TrueConfection · Answer

Website? What? 😂

No talk. My parents did not talk about sex.

My best friend's dad gave her and I a short chat once. First, he got good and drunk in order to tell us that, "Guys only want one thing, and that's P****!"

Tenebrae_mentis · Answer

My parents didn't. I heard a bit from kids at school, then went to a friend's house who had porn channels on his TV. Then we later got a computer at home where I had unmonitored internet access. Just learned everything through "independent research."

Jessica405 · Answer

My brother and I were born into a naturist family. We had it explained as we grew up. No bullshitting, just the facts as we needed to know them.

4ngelic · Answer

my parents never ever did talk to me ever about that. probably cause they assumed i'd know plus i live in a country where you get sex ed every year starting in 6th grade plus go in depth about contraception, abortion, the technicals of sex, etc in biology class in middle school and high school. so no need to have an ackward talk when you'll learn that in depth in school anyway

Aerissa_Jade · Answer

They were very open about it, my mother was so open that I could ask anything and get the answers to it, and some things I wish I had never asked and want to scrub from my brain.

It was a very educational experience but I really would of rather had someone to study at the time, as I'm a visual learner.

OfMiceandMen · Answer

I don't recall there being a website back in the day when I came into puberty. Our version of the internet was a bit more primitive. Oh wow, she's hot!👀

eagleriverjohn · Answer

They gave me some of those information books made for preteens and signed me up to watch a sex-ed movie at my school (there was no specific class for it at my school), and after all that asked if I had any questions. No real sit down talk though.

WanderingLoveWizard · Answer

I referred myself to a website. It's called PornHub lol

How important is it for a kid to really know how babies are made anyway? I never got the rush on that. They're gonna find out on their own by the time they reach the age where it's appropriate anyway

JustinTheGreat · Answer

Never had the talk with them. I had a general idea of what sex was ever since I was a kid. I guess I just knew from TV and movies. but I do remember thinking sex was just naked humping lmao
Found out the rest of the details on my own as I got older.

Anonymous · Answer

My dad was super nervous at first, at first I thought it was funny but then he started practically hyperventilating and I remembered how much I wished for basically my whole life my dad would have taught me a bunch of shit he didn't and it made me angry because I remembered I was 15, had already been having sex and felt like the whole gesture was too little too late.

Guardian45 · Answer

HA! By the time they were ready, it was TOO late!😂

Sixgunsound · Answer

My mother didn't she outsourced it to the public school system.

egarcia1360 · Answer

Mine didn't tell me a damn thing, I just learned from health class, peers, and the Internet lol

Babygirl_S · Answer

In my culture, parents don't tell us. We find out through books and internet. I think it's better this way as it would be embarrassing to talk about such things with parents.

Fuentes · Answer

They didn't lol that's why I had a Kid at 16 I was just told that I shouldn't make them a grandma or grandpa early.

Anonymous · Answer

A book explaining about how babies are made.

NostalgiaSenpi · Answer

My father went through the entire thing when I was twelve.

NewsReader · Answer

I don't think my parents ever talked about it. I learned that stuff from friends and the Internet.

slatyb · Answer

I asked about the biology, but got no guidance on dating or relationships. Their marriage was not good so they didn't have much to offer.

elizamichale1 · Answer

Well my parents didn't go around it... they told me explained me what it is n wht i need to be careful of

fonduegirl · Answer

No. Mom just asked me to be careful. Later, I realised that she's ace so I won't hold that against her.

exitseven · Answer

My parents never had the talk. I learned about sex from the older kids in my neighborhood.

Cubus · Answer

I parents never talked with me about it. I don't regret it, I know it anyway, and I believe it would made me more curious.

scooogy · Answer

My father talked about getting married before God or such, and my mother threw a book at me without any comment.

Anonymous · Answer

Never had that talk i learned everything from books though myself. And i am not sexually active so its okay anyway.

Lucy68 · Answer

I was just given a book

Anjoomkabir · Answer

Never got given the talk

Adam1978 · Answer

They didn't, school and porn covered that.

Date_a_Snob · Answer

my mom had the talk with me twice

Mayo503 · Answer

Never did have it …. Bit late now…. Lol 😂

shortster · Answer

They left it to the school.

Pterodon · Answer

Mine told us in great detail

melanieeeB · Answer

We never had a talk

riverrat3 · Answer

They never said a word

How did your parents have "the talk" about the birds and the bees? Did they actually explain how sex happens or refer you to a website?

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