What would you do, if you were a father, Whose 9 year old son died, and no one bothered asking how you were doing?

[Anonymous]

Please note, This did not happen to me. Im not a dad yet.

So this guy who is a friend of mine, about 10 years ago lost his 9 year old son to cancer. Hundreds of people asked his wife how she was doing, offered support etc. Lots of people asked him how his wife was doing, and how the kids were doing, and told him how he had to be strong for his wife their two remaining children. Only a few of his closest male friends (my self included) asked him how he was doing. Not one of his female friends, nor his mother bothered asking, it never occurred to them. It really sucked because not only did his wife deserve support but so did he, and he got so incredibly little.

How would you feel in that situation? What would you do?

[sage2021]

It's a good reminder to all of us to remember to pay attention to the Dad as well as the Mom if we should ever come across this situation.

At least he had you to console him. Perhaps his Mom did it later with no one around?

Poor guy! Dad's can hurt too. 💔

[Asker]

I pulled him back from suicide.. I was extraordinarily pissed off at those that chose to ignore him. We could have lot him.

[Asker]

You're absolutely right by the way

[sage2021]

So glad you stayed with him through his worst part of his life. Suicide is something a lot of people think of doing when their pain is too much to handle.
Thank you for posting this important message to all of us here.

[Asker]

Very welcome

[Anonymous]

I have a sort of similar story, and like you, it wasn't me it happened to. It was a friend I've known since we were kids. He dated a girl in high school but she moved away with her family just before their senior year (I was a year older).

He found out last year that she became pregnant with his child before she moved, and she never told him. Apparently his daughter was killed along with her step father in a car crash when she was eight years old. My friend only found out he had a daughter because of a fluke encounter with another classmate who ran into her brother in Ohio where the crash happened.

He never got to meet his daughter before she died. He is absolutely devastated. The heartlessness of some women when it comes to children and fathers is astounding to me. And the fact that the law allows a mother to not tell the father he has a child in the world is mind boggling.

[NamerOfStars]

Be devastated. What else COULD I do? It's terrible that men don't get empathy like women do, especially in cases like this, but there's not much a sufferer can do about it, save try to support other men in the same place.