Should I just cut off my “friend” without any explanation?

[Anonymous]

I’ve come on here and posted many questions about this friend of mine. I’ve used all the great advice but unfortunately she is extremely stubborn and doesn’t see her wrongdoings. She’s extremely disrespectful towards my other friends for no reason, and she also bashes my religious beliefs, and even tho I’ve told her that it hurts my feelings and it’s disrespectful , she just apologises right after and then will continue bashing me the next day. Not only that, but she belittles me because of my chosen career. Apparently it isn’t “luxurious” enough in her opinion lol. Anyways, I forgive her each time cause I’m too nice apparently lol and also because she suffers from depression I don’t wanna be the reason to make her depression worse. However, anytime I speak to her I feel my energy drain. I really just want to stop communicating with her all together, with no explanation at all. I’m tired of being treated this way, I’m a free therapist to her. What should I do?

[Wraith_Cemetery]

You've repeatedly told them what they're doing wrong and then they just repeat the behavior again. You've given them many chances. So, yeah, in my opinion, you should definitely just cut them off. I have a mental illness too but I don't go treating people around me like garbage and blame it on my "illness" as an excuse.

[Asker]

Thanks for the response. I plan on cutting her off completely now. The replies here have given me great reassurance. Thank you 😊

[itsalyssaagain]

I despise people that use their mental health as an excuse to get away with disrespectful, rude and obnoxious behaviour. And then expect you to be their friend!


My advice is to block her everywhere without notice. Apart from all the disrespect, you’ve communicated your needs and she clearly doesn’t care.


Also from my experience, people like that would be very quick to cut you off and use every nasty word in the book when you stop doing things for them.


Cut off that negative energy and enjoy your life! 😁

[itsalyssaagain]

A true friend WILL meet your needs and make an effort when you communicate it to them. My friends do this for me and I used to have rubbish friends just like the one you’re describing.

[Asker]

Hey, thank you for the response!

Sooo yeah I’ll definitely be cutting her off completely now. She called me today to rant about her ex boyfriend, she does this almost daily. I have the flu and had a migraine at the time and I just wanted to rest and she wouldn’t understand that! She said “just lay down and talk to me”. I felt so used so I just hung up on her without explanation 🙊

I am sorry that you went through the same thing. But I will take your advice and let go now. Thank you❤️

[itsalyssaagain]

You’re very welcome! And I know exactly what it’s like. I had a friend too who did the same. She called me every single day for hours talking about her ex boyfriend…I was also going through a break and up and it was my birthday and she didn’t care about either 😂

I cut her off and she went offfffff at me. People like this are selfish.

I guess what I’m trying to say is you did the right thing! There’s so many good people out there who will treat you the way you deserve x

[bota_selena]

You’re not friends. She uses you as a person who can share her emotions or feelings. Also she takes your positive energy telling you her problems and you’ll get her aura, it’s proven by phycology. Just tell her that you two think differently and that’s not the way how true friends act.

[Asker]

Hi, thanks for the response.

I’ve told her that but unfortunately she doesn’t seem to respect that. She still claims that we are “besties” but we are clearly not lol. I am willing to give it another go and tell her again. It’s been going on for 3 years and I’m really tired of it all now.

[bota_selena]

If you already told then the last thing is to block her number or ghost her as a stranger since it doesn’t seem that you’re friends. Maybe she’ll understand what she’s done and will try to connect with you again one day. She just wastes your time and energy. Find the one who truly respects, cares and understands you! <3

[Asker]

Thank you! I think I’ll gradually ignore her calls and messages for now. Maybe explain to her one last time but if she becomes even more disrespectful or aggressive then I’ll definitely block. Thanks for the advice ❤️

[bota_selena]

You’re always welcome, yeah right❤️

[boggboss]

Wanting to cut ties is pretty shitty but u do what ubfeel is best

[BoopBoopBeep]

You already said it. Just stop communicating with her all together. Yon don't owe her anything. She sounds positively draining.

[Anonymous]

First, please, try to be less sensitive about your religion.

Here's some tips on that front:

1) You believe in the religion you practice (its hoped) understand why you believe and the reasons you have whatever faith or belief. Understand others won't necessarily share those but also understand that if others can 'hurt your feelings' concerning your religious beliefs, maybe those beliefs are very weak (if of course you know I am wrong and she is wrong, why are you hurt by what idiots who know NOTHING about your beliefs say? course you wouldn't be and shouldn't be).

2) Lets assume you've shared something highly personal in a belief, one which means so much to you and you are precious about it. So, one could understand you may be upset not at the challenge of your belief but at the deliberate attack a freind has made on something you where clear was precious and asked gently and with care for respect over. So in this case, the temptation is to attack something silly your friend believes (its tempting for sure for anyone). However, usually with religious systems, there is a call to rise above others bad ways. See this as a chance to show your practicing of your beliefs (whatever they are) and feel good / better and maybe even feel sorry for your friends inability to understand.

Lastly, any person who uses "feeling disresepcted" to attempt to coerces someone else not to question a belief they hold is a dangerous individual. Since that indicates not a religious feeling but a control mechanism on others questioning or otherwise holding a counter position. If you can honestly say this is not relevent thats good... see my earlier suggestions.

As per dealing with difficult friends. Do consider yourself and how much their company is rewarding to you. Its possible to be a good friend without having to be a great friend. I personally recently became less friendly with someone who I personally still respect and get along with because her feeling was that certain behaviours of other can justify her to be horrid back to the purpurtrator. This is something I cannot personally abide by, as becoming like something I disaprove of in order to disaprove of what they did, is just such a silly world to enter into.

Be bold, be kind, be strong and when things get on top of you... make sure you have other friends (but don't give up on a friend, but sometimes its being a better friend letting them know why you like to be in their company and why you aren't too often).

[AstronautPatch99]

You’re under no obligation to maintain a relationship with this person.

[Blueeyes81]

You did your part. Time to let her go.

[Asker]

Thank you, I will be doing this now.

[mommymommymommy]

What do you do?

[Asker]

My job? I have two jobs, one is being a part time salesperson for a automotive company (its the family business) The other is my own business that I’ve just started, it’s a bookshop and cafe.

[mommymommymommy]

Nice
I'm looking for a newer car, that I can afford, got anything you can show me. Do you do delivery?

[Asker]

Where do you live? We don’t do delivery and we’re based in the UK. If I have to advise you, in our area lots of people bought used Toyota’s and the feedback has been great from them. They are Good quality and maintenance isn’t costly. Vehicle parts are also easier to find and affordable too.

[mommymommymommy]

Oh, ok, dang