If you're not going to get forgiven, it's it better walking away without apologizing at all?

[Anonymous]

My now ex friend discovered her now ex boyfriend and I have been getting it on for 4 months. Though I've put an end to it last month but she still found the old texts. It's unlikely I'll ever get forgiven so this was my reaction upon discovery:

I got defensive, invented a bunch of pathetic excuses (out of embarrassment, guilt and not knowing what else to say... it was basically an ''oh shit'' moment) and then accepted getting unfriended and blocked. I didn't fight at all to get forgiven. I had a ''whatever, nonchalant'' attitude but deep down I know I've messed it up. I do feel bad but don't show it.

In the case you've wronged someone, they found out and it's unlikely you'll get forgiven (unless maybe if you beg so hard but I don't want to lower myself to that level either), is it better to just walk away from their life for good without any apology at all? I can't even show my face to her either.

[glennos89]

The worst thing you can do is not owning up for your own mistakes! It makes you look bad as a individual.

Wether you will be forgiven or not...

The best thing you can do in this situation, for yourself and for those you harmed with your actions, is to own up for your mistakes and apologize for it, letting them know you feel bad about it and letting them know you realise you are in the wrong here.

We all make mistakes in our lifes and that's fine as long as you try to learn from it so that it won't happen again.

Walking away without owning up for it will make you look bad as a individual tbh. Nobody wants to hang out with people who can't own up for the mistakes they make. It's toxic to be like that 🤷‍♂️🤢

[Asker]

Thank you. Though now it's unlikely to reach her because she blocked me. I would have to wait till the school year starts or somehow bump into her by chance if I can. I really wish I had her friendship back but that's unlikely.

[glennos89]

Maybe you can write a message and send it to her with 1 your own friends social media accounts to her. Or just wait till next school year ofcourse. You never know if the friendship can be fixed or not but you definitely should try by telling her you feel sorry that you made mistakes. If you dont try you will definitely not be able to fix the friendship right? 😇

[slatyb]

Apologize to her. That's about all you can do. This may seem like a big deal at 17 but in the long run it's not. Today weren't going to stay together on any case. I hope the sex was good.

[kylee2437]

Exing out friendships is a big deal. Good friendships can carry on for a lifetime , and she needs to learn that while yes life goes on, friendships are also needed and become harder to make as you get older and older.

[Asker]

I can't reach her at this moment because I've been blocked. Unless I were to bump into her by random chance or wait till the school year starts again then ok. I'm sad to have lost a good friend and really wish I had her friendship back but it's not possible.

[kylee2437]

If she has unfriended you and blocked you , that’s a sign she does not want to be further involved with you. Sleeping around with your friends ex is a serious violation of friendship code and it’s not something an apology really fixes. This is a time where you just need to self reflect, learn your lesson but don’t think that friendship if ever coming back. Hopefully she wasn’t a friend that you are going to need in some on years.

[Asker]

We had 3 mutual friends and now they're not speaking to me either. My reputation went down a bit by now. Since I've lost her forever, that's my punishment... that I've lost a good friend.
Yeah I know no apology is ever going to fix that... that's why I'm not even trying at all. She must be thinking I don't care at all nor sound remorseful because I've put a brave face, a nonchalant attitude but what else can I do? Nothing

[kylee2437]

@asker who knows how she truly feels - but what you did definitely is a great way to end a friendship quickly.

[Asker]

I know. She dumped her boyfriend and blocked him too. I would give anything to have her friendship even if things weren't the same again but I have to accept my loss.

[kylee2437]

Just take it as a lesson. Friendships get harder and harder to make. Never ever take advantage of a good friend. Losing a good friend is not worth it in the long run

[NotInterestedSorry]

If you haven't, you need to apologise. However just know it is never acceptable to get involved with someone else's ex.

[Asker]

I will when I get the chance. I'm blocked at this moment.

[NotInterestedSorry]

Write her a letter and mail it to her if you know her address. Honestly though. I don't think you will ever get the friendship back. You really messed up

[Fireguy17]

Nope, apologize and then you did everything that you can/could do.
It is up to the other person to accept it or not.
Nothing you can do about it.

[Asker]

Ok I will when I get the chance. I can't call nor search her on facebook nor other social medias. She blocked me.

[Fireguy17]

You did everything you could do, you made the attempt.
There would be 1 last thing you could try, if you know her address write her a not and mail it to her.
After that if you do not get any response from her then don't worry about it.
Just move on.
You know in your heart you tried and that is the important thing.
This happens, and might happen again, but you are dealing with people and everyone is different.
You can't please everyone so don't waste your time trying to do so.