Why don’t some people understand the privacy of childbirth?

[Anonymous]

I’m 7 months pregnant and my best friend keeps saying that she wants to be in the room during labour, or at least be in the waiting room and then meet the baby as soon as it’s born.. I keep telling her no, I don’t want many people there, I won’t have many of my family there, let alone any friends. It’s a very private moment, and the only people who will be involved will be people who are absolutely necessary. My best friend gets upset everytime I say this. Why can’t she understand? She’s a trans woman so I know that she doesn’t fully understand childbirth and how intimate it is etc, since it’s not something she’ll ever go through.

[Anonymous]

My sister done the exact same thing, except I was so pressured by her I gave in and it was the worst decision ever. I no longer talk to her and never will. She is dead to me.

My advice, if you have to, snap at your friend and say. Look respect my wishes or I am done with our friendship. My labour and delivery is something that Is a private moment between me and my partner and the hospital staff.

[Asker]

Thank you.

[Opinion Owner]

You're welcome. Sometimes you have to snap and lose your shit to get them to back off. If you lose her friendship in the process, I say she was never a true friend to you, because a true friend would listen and respect your wishes.

Also if you aren't wanting any visitors after giving birth. Set your boundaries and make it clear that you want time alone with your baby. Those first few days of your baby's life are so precious you want to cherish every moment. Nobody respected my wishes when I said I didn't want visitors for the first 24 hours and I legit had zero privacy so I never got to have those precious alone time with her. I also didn't get the photos I wanted either because family just never gave me privacy even when I was trying to breastfeed.

I wish you all the best. Take heaps of photos and videos, If you don't you will regret it. Wishing you a safe delivery

[Asker]

You’re very sweet and so helpful!! Thank you so much.

[JohnK123]

How many kids do u both have lol

[Opinion Owner]

@JohnK123 why? I only have the one child who will always be my only child. I was told I was infertile by the doctor after I had to have scans done so my pregnancy with her was a shock and surprise.

So it was extremely important for me to have photos of the birth and for me to spend that time alone with her especially when I was also robbed off any skin to skin contact with my baby since staff kept taking her off me.

[Opinion Owner]

@Asker you are welcome.

[JohnK123]

I don't know I was curious. At least u got a baby before u were infertile

[Opinion Owner]

@JohnK123 true but having her resulted in me losing everyone from her dad, to my entire family.

[Apple1996]

Some people are so dumb and don't understand that childbirth is a intimate moment that should only be shared between the parents of the baby.

I had some issues with my mom wanting to be in the room with my oldest. She fought her way in there even tho I told her no multiple times. It turned out fine but would have honestly been better without her.

[scooogy]

You should get back at her by wanting to be in the gynecologist's examination room with some random perv whenever she needs to go there.

[Apple1996]

@scooogy fr should do that lol

[provokeesmokee]

She isn't understanding or respecting your boundary.

You might need to get direct and blunt. Your birthing process is not a spectator sport - it's a very stressful and dangerous time for you.

While it's great she wants to support you, you'll have enough supports during the birthing as-is.

Perhaps you can redirect her help towards post-birth and she can help you during your recovery if she must be involved.

But this is your call. She has no rights or claims to it. Your boundaries and requests must be respected.

[Sonorous]

You gotta hit her with the sit down serious convo they always do in the TV shows. Gotta start with something like "look I really appreciate you as a person, bla bla bla. You're a great friend & I really respect you as a human being" then end with "but I hope you understand this is a matter that's very intimate to me & I feel like I need to face it alone."

[Alwayreckles93]

Your friend is act very immature Step your foot down this time try not to be so nice to her. Birth is a very praivet moment its only about the baby and you time. You want to have thebmost beautiful experience sweet precious momemtsbwith your baby. Don't allowed your childish friend ruin it for you for her selfish reasons.

[soulOnDisplay]

Your correct for not wanting "her" in the room. I don't know everything about you or your friend circle, but It's interesting your transgender woman friend is so persistent with this and not others. "She" wants to use your moment to affirm "her" own gender identity, it's quite self-centered, it's for him not for you. It's the same reason transgender women want to be in the same washroom with females, so they can feel like a real woman. If you don't want a man in the room that should be your right, especially one as rude and persistant as he is.

[Anonymous]

My mom was the same way. It sucks, you just have to be very firm about it. Nobody can be in the room if you say they can't when it comes down to it. And you do not have to give anyone any reasons or excuses why you don't want them there. You not wanting them there is the default. You do not have to justify that to anyone.

[Summeroflove]

She has no respect for you. She can’t force her way in. I agree this is a very private thing where you will be fully exposed. If and when I get married and have children, I wouldn’t want a lot of people seeing my wife in that type of vulnerable situation.

Your best friend can get upset all she wants. She doesn’t have a right to be there if you don’t want here there, and a good friend would be able to respect and understand that.

[DarkWinterNights]

To me anyone besides your husband, or maybe your mom if he’s unavailable for whatever reason would be weird.

[NotInterestedSorry]

Sometimes people have their closet friend as well as their partner and their mum in there. Partners have passed out and fainted while she was giving birth. It's good to have backup in case that happens, And sometimes people have extra people to capture photos and videos.

[scooogy]

Exactly your friend's behaviour is why I refuse to date a certain social circle of women where their parents and friends seem eager by nature to snoop into a woman's marriage and parenthood. I heard men say they'd chase anyone daring, so I'm totally on your side here.

[Nik1hil]

"They/The are many demons in one body and now are coming after our Childrens"

- John Constantine

[Spongebobssocks]

Tell her to talk to a therapist. It's not your problem its hers

[Anonymous]

I am a medical student, childbirth is not private and it is a horrible moment, since I have to see the woman's vagina, endure bad smells and endure the woman's screams. Most of the time I convince the resident to do a C-section so he doesn't have to put up with noisy women.

[Asker]

Wow. I hope you find a different career. No empathy.

[techgirl7]

Please go into a different field of work or at least out of women's healthcare.

[NotInterestedSorry]

Why the hell are you a medical student if this is your attitude? You really should not be a doctor at all.

[Opinion Owner]

Because the salary is good.

[JohnK123]

Awww so ur baby is due in November? im an October baby

[Asker]

Yes, I’m really excited!! I’m an August baby and my partner is an April baby.

[JohnK123]

How are u rn? Being 7 months lol… Is this ur first baby?

[Asker]

Yep, it’s my first. I’m doing as well as I can be at 7 months haha. The morning sickness and everything was really rough in my first trimester but calmed down in my second.

[JohnK123]

What’s the morning sickness from? That’s good to hear

[Asker]

It’s from being pregnant. Majority of pregnant women get morning sickness in their first trimester.

[jimmy2]

It's the most blessed time it hurts like Hell but then you lay your eyes on that blessed child and it's Instant Love them it's a 18 to 45 life, bills lol

[Staximus]

No dudes in the delivery room except the father of the child and doctor

[Anonymous]

What does the father say?

[Anonymous]

Don't allow that. That is very intrusive.

[KrakenAttackin]

"She's a trans woman"😂😂😂😂😂.