Aren't we friends all of a sudden?

[Anonymous]

Had a date with a male friend and one of his female friends, it was clear that me and this guy are friends. At some point she asks what is our relationship about, like what is the label (?) and he just starts saying how he is unable to put a label on it unlike with all the other things in life where he is rationally able to label things.

Aren't we just friends all of a sudden? He doesn't consider me that much of a friend now?

I'm confused because i like him as a friend and wish to keep him

[Oliverlogan263]

That is super confusing what he said about not being able to label your relationship. On one hand, it sounds like maybe he just doesn't wanna fully commit to being friends since you guys went on a sort of double date situation. But then again, he says he can label most other things so why not just friends? To me it sounds like maybe he likes you as more than a friend but doesn't want to outright say it in front of his friend. Or he could just be weird about labels in general. I wouldn't necessarily think he doesn't consider you a friend anymore. Just talk to him one-on-one and see how he really feels. Tell him you value his friendship and want to stay close. If he says he does too, then I wouldn't worry too much about the label stuff. As long as you're both cool hanging out, that's what really matters.

[Asker]

What do you mean by double date? I'm not entirely sure about their relationship but later that day, when we were alone, he told me she isn't exactly his type (and I also know that she has someone in her life right now but it's not exclusive). I know they've been intimate because of the way they behaved and I was totally fine with that.
This happened a month ago and i'm not feeling like bringing it up out of the blue.
Also about the "friends" situation is supported by the fact that last week i wanted his advice on something and told him a series of problems i had (nothing major). I later thanked him and apologized for taking his time and he said "no worries, you know i like it when you talk to me about this kind of things."

[Oliverlogan263]

Okay gotcha, my bad for assuming it was a double date.

From the sounds of it, he said she's not his type so there's nothing going on there. And I definitely wouldn't bring up that friends label thing from a month ago out of nowhere.

The fact that he told you he likes it when you talk to him about stuff is a good sign though. It means he values you as a friend and likes being there for you.

I'd say just try hanging out with him again one on one and see how the vibe is. If you guys are still comfortable around each other and having good conversations, then I wouldn't overthink what he said about labels before. Friends come in all different kinds.

As long as you two are on good terms and he's showing he cares about your friendship, I wouldn't stress too much. Just enjoy your time together without expecting anything more than friendship if that's all it is. Try not to obsess over labeling it. Hope this helps! Let me know if anything else comes up.