Am I a bad person saying I’m relieved and happy when my mother passed away?

[Anonymous]

I’ve been helping my mom out and it’s been very hard. My older sister was our mom’s caregiver and she had to quit her job. We we’re there every step of the way and helped mom but she was bossy, had an attitude and it was tough. My sister had to bath her, feed her, clean out her poop which is gross and other things. Our mom got weak, won’t eat, can’t talk and lost weight but her cancer got worse and was on her last stage. Took care of our sweet, badass, stubborn and courageous mother until she passed away.

We we’re heartbroken about her death. This is going to sound very bad but I am going to be brutally honest, we’re glad she died. No more stress, she doesn’t have to suffer and she’s at peace. So are we. We were relieved that she passed away. We don’t have to worry about her demanding things, late night work and her being in pain and suffering.

What? I mean you would be too relieved if you were a caregiver to your parent or whoever! Still sad and we miss her but I’m happy she died.

[slatyb]

No, you aren't. When someone is suffering through a long terminal illness, feeling relieved when it ends is normal. You have had months to grieve the inevitable loss. Now it's happened, the stress of caregiving is over, and she's no longer suffering.

[Asker]

Yeah my sister is so glad she doesn’t have to do caregiving anymore and she’s happy. I’m happy we don’t have to suffer and our mom isn’t suffering anymore. Of course we’re said about her death but we don’t wave to worry about dealing with her demands. People think we’re cruel for saying that but whatever, we were honest. Should we feel guilty for being relieved? Absolutely not.