Why do friends drop you after you lost someone you really love?

[Anonymous]

My mother passed away a month ago and my friends stopped inviting me to places, they don’t check up on me anymore and they abandoned me. Some of my relatives on my moms said don’t really speak to me or my siblings anymore and they haven’t called us. Anyways my dad told me his pals dropped him because he was grieving too much about his wife! They’ve been together since the 80s! What did they expect? We lost most of our church friends and that wasn’t Christian like.
I don’t have any friends anymore because they can’t be around a “depressed” person. I’m not depressed, I’m just a different person. They did us a huge favor. They weren’t really friends to begin with and that’s what our dad warned us when we were younger. Man why do people abandon you on your time of need and a cry for help? 💔😭😤😤😤💖💖💖💔💔😭

My suppository best friend told me they started doing things without me because all I do is talk about how I miss my mom and I always decline our invitations so what’s the point of inviting me? I’ve changed and they don’t enjoy being around me anymore and they never liked me. Plus she found a new best friend. She said people die and get over it already! I was shocked when she said that. My heart shattered into pieces. My best friend since 3rd grade. 😭😭😭😭😭

[boggboss]

I have had friends I really liked that I have ended up dropping because any time I was around them they would truma dump any even or meet up ended up feeling like shit for everyone because they felt shit which is fine but I'm not willing to forgo my mental health when I'm not equipped or paid to be your therapist I don't know if that's the same as u but a point of view from the other side

[Asker]

Well they weren’t great friends to begin with.

[boggboss]

Thats fair enough but even great friends can discard a friendship it'll the reuma dumping gets too much

[jahaims]

You guys just aren't smart enough to find genuine people

[Asker]

What does that supposed to mean?

[IslaTheWitch]

Do you think that your friends could be right? That you really focus too much? Maybe the help of a psychologist can help you balance your mourning and social life?

Others sometimes can see more because they are outside of our bubble

[Asker]

What do yo Ulsan they might be right? What are you trying to say that they’re right for dropping me? My mom is dead and I miss her! 😭😭😭😭😭
My sister said she misses mom too but talking about her being gone and grieving isn’t going to make people wanna hang out with me much. She said I need to live life and stop pushing everybody away and that’s why my friends dropped me.

[IslaTheWitch]

People have a limited capacity to deal with others' exaggerated behaviors. They didn't drop you. You made them drop you. No one will sacrifice their life if you can't find balance.

My mom passed away 6 years ago... I also miss her. But it doesn't mean everyone has to listen about it all the time. It's my mourning, not theirs. If you don't balance it, you will find yourself alone...

[Cutegirl06]

Yes, but her mom only passed away a month ago 😢 not like 5 or 10 years ago. I would hope that if it were me my friends would be more supportive. I think the way her friends treated her is wrong 😕

[IslaTheWitch]

@Cutegirl06 People won't sacrifice themselves if someone is not asking for professional help and want their friends to listen without an end about their loss. It's a common sense. I also was in a situation when it was only a month after my mom passed away. But still. I respect other people. And even if my friends actually wanted me to cry on their shoulders, I still kept it moderated. In the end, I asked for professional help and made the progress. It's not my friends' responsibility to be my therapist

[Cutegirl06]

I agree with you it's not your friends responsibility to be a therapist, if it were me in that situation I think my friends would be more understanding after only a month.

[Asker]

You know what? That’s very insensitive and very rude. I understand what you’re saying but I JUST lost her a month ago and YOU have the odasity to tell me I made them drop me as a friend? Hell no! They chose too and honestly, I’m glad they’re not my friends anymore. You’re just a jerk. Your age says 46 and I thought since you’re older, you’d be wiser but I guess I was wrong! Screw you and don’t ever answer my questions again! Bye

[Asker]

@Cutegirl06 she’s just an insensitive bitch! She claiming that I made my friends drop me. Like it’s my fault that my best friend dropped me and got a new best friend.

[Asker]

No wonder your username has witch in it because you’re wicked and acting like a witch.

[Cutegirl06]

First let me say I'm sorry for the loss of your mom. And those people were never your friends to begin with. That's just horrible to do that to someone that just lost someone. Anyone who does this has no feelings for other people.

[Asker]

Thank you. Some other user said my friends might be right about what they said and reaction. I don’t agree with her.

[Cutegirl06]

I disagree also. Your mom only passed away a month ago, I'm sure you are still trying to process your loss. If it was me I'd still be lost without my mom. Everyone grieves differently. I still say your so called friends should be more supportive of you.

[Asker]

Yeah but they flat out dumped me. This bitch told me I made them drop me! That’s so fucking rude

[Cutegirl06]

I think so too

[Asker]

Thank you so much. I blocked that witch