I desperately need a friend?

[Anonymous]

I am very exhausted man. I hate myself at least partially. I am in a hole and I have more or less accepted it... it seems.

It wasn't always like this. I was a fighter (i still fight a bit). I made a difficult choice. I had no guidance or mentor to protect me from myself, and the rest of what happened was a combination of ill-timing and an un-supportive environment.

It's frustrating because I was very well-prepared for many issues I had seen other go through. That didn't stop life for coming after me.

I have few friends, but none of them see life my way.

There were few things that I held to be very important in my life.

How my family saw me. Having a significant other that is my best friend. Both of them didn't workout the way I had hoped.

[Explorer91]

I have off and on felt disconnected like this (maybe not as profound or deep but enough to get where your coming from). For me, what worked was re connecting to what I could for the next 6 months. And just planning things in 6 month blocks ahead.
So right now, you do not have the type of interpersonal connections you need. This won't come over night. It will take time to build new ones. But what you can do is build other things in your life. Can you join a volunteer community that runs weekly on a Saturday. Can you be part of that? Sure its not the same as a friendship but it is a regular activity you are part of and connected to and you see similar people each week. Things like that really helped me. Just focusing on what I could.

[Asker]

Thanks for your input. One issue I have is that I am apprehensive with meeting new people. I have come across people who are insane and narcissistic. I don't have problem dealing with them. I have enough experience now to counter their tricks. However, I find myself scanning for them sometimes when I meet new people.

I am curious if you can share any guidance on that?

[Asker]

I am also in my mid 30s fyi. I didn't think age would be such a large factor when people answer.

[Explorer91]

Maybe just aim for general connection rather than close connection for a while if you struggle with coming across a lot of "difficult" people. Like when I go to my volunteer thing monthly at the moment. I am close with them in the snese that they are very familiar, we chat about the last few weeks, we have a few laughs. But that is it. Its not deeper than that. So it keeps me feeling safe to take baby steps in connection without having to worry about "what if they have borderline personlaity etc" so maybe just aim for general connection where if they are a narcissist or not doesn't really mattr.

[Anonymous]

Things get better. You’re not too old to keep trying.

[natalie98]

hi i also need a friend. my xper level not enough to message you. you can message me if you want