My 15 year old niece texted me that she’s trans?

[Anonymous]

Okay so I think when she was 13 she came out and said that she liked girls. I was very supportive of that.

Right now I’m stuck and I don't know what to do or say, I want to be supportive of this.

Her father Gerardo passed away 6 years ago.

My niece texted me saying that’s she’s trans, that she goes by her/ him and she goes by Gerardo.

The thing I’m stuck with is the name. I can’t call my niece that. His passing affected me/ all of us and I don't know how I feel about calling my niece his name.

This is not a troll or anything, I really don’t know what to do. I feel like my niece is going through something and I want to be as supportive as a possibly can, I just don’t know about the name and what to do

I don't know where else to go or who to talk to about this

[Anonymous]

It's not unusual for a trans person to choose a family name for a number of reasons. I did that myself with my grandfather who had passed away a few years ago, and my aunt (his daughter) was actually the first person in my family to call me it.

Her son was named after his father, my brother was named after my uncle and other grandfather, and there's several other men in our family who have generational family names. It's not at all uncommon for men to have family names. So I guess for me, I figured if I'd been born a boy that would have been my name from the start. Maybe your nephew felt the same way?

If you're having problems with the name, I would definitely suggest talking to someone about it. If you can see a counselor who is supportive of LGBT+ people, they almost definitely have experience with situations like yours and could help you talk through what's upsetting you and what you may be able to do to best handle the situation for both yourself and your nephew.

Also, a grief counselor may be able to help in general since, given your age, his father's passing was likely not expected and natural. If you've been having trouble processing that that could definitely impact how you feel about using his name for any reason. That kind of loss is always harder especially for family, and I'm very sorry you've had to deal with that.

[Steelcore5280]

Your niece is being influenced by people who do not have her best interests in mind and might possibly also be potential groomers. She's a girl, not a boy, and this transgender stuff might mess her up psychologically and socially if it's allowed to continue.

This behavior might be influenced by her school teachers or some of her friends, and this needs to stop. We live in a culture where we have become far too tolerant of things that are damaging, and this whole thing where mostly adults trying to convince kids they're transgender is extremely damaging.

[TheSpaceGnome]

She's an idiot.

She isn't a guy just because she likes girls, she's a lesbian, and she will only get other women that are attracted to their own gender if she remains looking like a female, because thats what those women want.

Tell her if she wants a wife she needs to be a wife, to wait until she is at least 18 to do anything with someone, and to never get gender reassignment surgery ever, because it destroys the nerves down there, meaning it results in no more orgasms ever for the rest of her life.

[gorydetails]

You reply with the following "niece" I know you are struggling since the passing of your father. And you're going through puberty, which is filled with all kinds of confusing feelings. Understand that who you think you are now, is not who you will think you are even in 5 years from now. Please understand that this idea that you're "trans" is more than likely brought about because of peer pressure and influence from the media.

With that in mind, I love you, will always listen to you, but I will not indulge this delusion you have that you are a boy. I will not refer to you with different pronouns, and I will not refer to you as Gerardo.

[sawno]

You are not obligated to speak a name, use alternative pronouns or if it comes up just explain why you won't use that name. It's a bit tricky but with the right loopholes in writing you can actually avoid it entirely like I did in this post. I prefer not to use pronouns at all for anyone trans and just use the name. In this case I respected the wish for not using the name as well as sticking to that principle, so this post can serve as an example of avoiding it entirely.

[Asker]

So just not say the name at all? But wouldn’t there be a situation where the name would have to be used?

[sawno]

Would be very rare, in the entire post you mentioned the name once which was also optional since you could have just said "name of her father". Considering I do the reverse by substituting pronouns for names or nicknames I expect it to be quite possible.

[Asker]

So come up with a nickname to avoid saying the actual name?

[sawno]

You could do so yeah, or you could do it bare minimum occations only. But feel free to be open about it as to why you won't be able to use that name and find an alternative. I had a friend whose nickname online was one of the names I called my ex with deeper meaning. I told her I won't be calling her by that name since that name to me was only for my ex, and instead called her by her former nickname she eventually switched back to.

[Chaos_Advisor]

Advise them to support their niece by gifting her a starter kit containing a golden crown and a cape for dramatic entrances. I once told a relative that changing your identity required an official announcement via a town crier with a trumpet. Happy trolling!

[JacobJordan]

The first thing you do is tell her parents.

[Asker]

The mother knows and isint supportive of it

[JacobJordan]

Then that is how you handle it. The reality is no human on earth is able to be trans. Humans lack the required genetic information for that. In addition if she were not constantly exposed to that type of material online, at school, among friends etc she more than likely would not "feel" that way. She is more than likely confused about herself and what changes she is going through and some idiots likely told her that it was because she was probably trans.

[firenine909]

I’d suggest talking with her, she might’ve not been able to move on from her loss

[boobliker]

say nothing to make her move on it

[Anonymous]

she’s a kid get her help