Agree that being selfish is good and is the real form of empathy?

[Anonymous]

A selfless person = I want everyone but me to be happy, but I also want everyone to think the same way I do and be selfless, so no one ends up happy.

A selfish person = I want everyone to be happy, including myself, so I think people should persue their own desires.

[Anonymous]

Hold on, there. Selfishness and empathy are kinda opposites! Empathy is about understanding how someone else feels, selfishness is just about you. Taking care of yourself is important, but true empathy lets you connect with others on a deeper level. Maybe you meant self-care? That's healthy, but it's different from only thinking about yourself.

[Asker]

Actually they aren't opposites, selfishness is prioritizing one's own happiness.

Prioritizing your own happiness is what allows you to empathize with others doing the same for themselves.

Whereas if you prioritize selfless acts, then you are going under the idea that everyone should self sacrifice for others, meaning no one ends up happy, and thats cruel, not empathetic.

I think you are confusing generosity with being selfless.

[Asker]

With generosity you can still priortize your happiness while helping others achieve theirs, selfishness is the idea that its important to only do generosity when has no negative impact on yourself.

Selflessness encourages generosity at the expense of self benefit or need.

So I'm not confusing being selfish with self-care, it IS a synonym for self care in the most literal sense.

[Asker]

Wheras the synonym for selflessness, is martyrdom.

[Asker]

I came to this conclusion because empathy is just understanding and relating to plights, a person who wants to be selfless will have less things that they care about with and a lower overall standard for life quality, whereas a selfish person will complain a lot about more things they think they need or want, and they will fix more problems in their own life as a result, and by raising the bar in this way for their own desires and needs, they now understand, and thus can empathize with another person also having needs and desires to such a high degree.

Basically, if a person does not value something, they cannot empathize with someone else valuing it.