Is there a form of healthy selfishness in a relationship?

[Jjpayne]

For example buying things for yourself or time for yourself etc..

[ifOdinWasAgirl]

Before you choose to go in a relationship, one big thing is knowing how to be in a relationship with yourself. Its not selfish to love yourself. A relationship shouldn't be 2 halves to form a whole. Its 2 wholes forming 3 or more. Being selfish in a relationship happens if you do things irregardless of how your partner feels. But tbh if your partner is a whole, so to speak, as well. I doubt it would matter because before you got into a relationship, you both have your own lives. You should contribute to each others lives and fulfill your own and not depend on each other. Two people who both only have one leg to walk with cannot use each other as crutches as they walk forward, they would mostly likely fall and drag each other down.

[Desconhecida]

Time for yourself, definitely. It's healthy for both!

[JackSmy]

It is called 'boundaries'. One cannot always be the 'giver' and the other just taking. There has to be some level of 'give and take' to be equals, and happy.

[broncobryan]

Well I buy what I need, mainly fishing and shooting stuff. But my wife also likes those things sooo we kinda share.

[jennifer_bloom]

I think its good to love yourself and people won't be interested in you when you're not interested in yourself. My friend used to say a lot of guys like to care for and protect their woman - not as a father or baby sitter or parent - but the occasional hug during a bad time - makes both people happier.

[SydneySentinel]

Yes, it's called setting boundaries for yourself. It's very healthy.

[xkildy]

That's a tough one cause , there are things that only you need to be touching then there are things that your partner and you can interact with. Say a hairbrush.(honey bring me my brush)
Or something that should not be touched. With out talking about it before hand the credit cards. I'm not talking about his and her accounts I'm talking about her credit card or his cc unless they te you go ahead use it. That's off limits.

[LokiWhite]

You have to still function as an independent person at times you can't be entirely codependent. You need to treat yourself every once in a while for sure, but I would never call any of this selfish, because you aren't hurting anyone else or your partner by doing it.

[CindyRuns]

I've found that things work best with a mixture of sharing and selfishness... taking care of yourself.

I'm a much better wife and lover when I'm happy... and some of my happiness is doing my own thing.

[QueenTanya]

Of course, you shouldn't put every single one of your partner's needs above your own. You aren't their slave

[Taylor_C]

You always do or buy things for yourself, regardless of being in a relationship or not. You don´t cease to exist because you´re in a relationship.

[arabgoddess]

It should be a matter of 'sharing' in a relationship

[aaronbw]

In order to help others you must first help yourself. Dont get greedy but make sure you're in shape to care for someone.

[GoodGuyBreakingBad]

We can buy things for ourselves but that doesn't make us selfish
in a relationship.

[NickiB]

There has to be.
Just as long as it's not all the time

[JP_Man]

It should always be about yourself and how you feel with this person. If it's no longer good then goodbye. It's unhealthy to give too much importance to someone else. Exception made with your offspring.

[Iron_Man]

I guess you can consider this that style I want my my dinner ready when I get home
Since I'm the main provider.

[Gary888818]

Yes. Otherwise you become a doormat which is just as unhealthy as being overly selfish.

[Dav1ss]

Yes it's called being normal

[Exorcist_Rampage]

Yes, not giving in to your moral struggles.

[luvstoned4him]

yes..

[JKingOff]

No..

[davidj555]

Yeah

[Wowgirl30q]

Yes I think