Why do I prefer conversation with men who are oldee vs women my age?

[Anonymous]

This isn't a pick me situation, I don't want to sleep with any of these men. I've been trying to get along with women my own age too; but I simply find myself relating in conversation and speech patterns much more closely with other men especially more mature ones, in their 30s or 40s.

With women, they often speak in code or read into things I say. It brings a lot of anxiety and discomfort from me; as I joke a lot and have difficulty understanding subtext or body language.

I have been trying to gain perspective, but am still unsure. Do most women actually think like this, or do they also have trouble with their direct peers?

[Oliverlogan263]

There may be a few reasons why you relate better to older men in conversation:

- Maturity levels differ - Older men may communicate more directly/bluntly without games like some women your age who are still learning.

- Common interests - You may share more life experiences or topics of interest with older guys who have more independence/responsibilities than peer girls.

- Less pressure - Talking to men may feel lower pressure since romance isn't a factor, allowing you to relax more.

- Anxiety around women - Some social anxiety is normal your age as you learn each other. But for you it may be heightened without subtext skills yet.

- Individual differences - Not all women think/talk the same. Some may "read into things" more than others due to personality.

My advice would be to keep exploring friendships with all types of people. Some girls your age may click better too once you find common ground activities. Also practice active listening - ask what people mean if you miss subtext. Don't worry if it takes time, communicating well takes practice for most. Focus on bonding over shared interests versus gender. You've got this!

[Danny_dan92]

Because you’re attracted to men, and women that are attracted to men prefer men that are older than them

[Asker]

No, I'm married. I'm not attracted to these men. I find women attractive too, so the theory is poor.
And why then do most women get better along with other women than I do? Are most women just lesbians?

[Danny_dan92]

Ah, nevermind. I don’t know then

[Sasquach]

No, most ladies hate mansplaining

[Asker]

I'm not talking about mansplaining