Why do some women prefer older men?

Question

This is subject that I will never understand. Why some woman want to date older man and not within their own age category? It is a recepy for desaster. One of my friends is with a guy that's 20 years older then her. I told her that relationship won't last she got angry at me and threw in my face about my divorce And ex-husband. Which had nothing to do with her situation. I am trying to help her. I am not ageist I just don't agree about huge age gaps.

hi_it_is_me123 · Accepted Answer

She has mental disorders such as "daddy issues" . There is no way that the maturity level of your friend is the same as her boyfriend due to biological and scientifical reasons. If she is under 25 her brain development ain't finished which affect her maturity and personality. This is why young women tend to be naive/immature aka have unstable personality. This is the reason why divorce rate is higher the bigger the age gap is. Any grown ass man in his 30s (eg.) is creepy and has pedo tendencies when he only seeks women under 24.

Furthermore, old men are biologically leftovers because of health and aesthetic reasons. A young man is more attractive, more healthier, and so stronger and can protect his mate which attract women.

The sperm quality is also decreasing the older the men get which means their kids are more likely to have genetic abnormalities.

"Evolutionary Psychology studies suggest that women prefer slightly older or similarly aged partners... Several recent studies have shown changes in male reproductive parameters as a result of increased age. In the current review of medical literature, we found evidence that much older men are more likely to be infertile, women with much older partners are more likely to experience problems during pregnancy, and children of much older men are more likely to have genetic abnormalities. Based on these findings, we suggest that reproducing with much older men does not represent the best reproductive option for women, which would explain the female preference for only slightly older or similarly-aged mates. sexual selection;mate choice reproductive behavior; ..."-

Here is a statistic below that shows that women prefer 1-5 years older men and NOT old men

Old men can't have much common with much younger women since the maturity level ain't same due to brain development that affect the personality and maturity level of the young girls as I said. Brain development continues till you become 23-25. So it is not healthy relationship and there will be also a power imbalance since young girls also dont have much adult life experience and because of brain development as i explained.

I will get hate but i dont care. Guys should wake up and should give up the hollywood dream of young girls that like old men. If you like young women date them as soon as possible before you get old since majority of women like men in their mid or late 20s (who are biologically in their prime) and NOT old men.

Medicalbug · Accepted Answer

I would date an older man if we were on the same page. My only issue with it would be noticeable generational differences, which is why I usually stick to partners no more than 15 years my senior. A 46 year old had similar experiences to me (he would be version 1.0 and I would be 2.0, sitting on tail ends of roughly the same era), whereas the people I meet in their 50s seem from a different one entirely. Not everyone, but there is a pretty big technical and cultural gap between people who remember the 60s and 70s and someone from the 90s and 00s.

So for me it’s more like, do you seem too much like my dad? Or are you 55 and act very much like my generation due to an extremely adaptable personality? It’s the same with people from very different cultures (eg. with strict religious views). I can’t change who I am for anyone and no one should change for me. Sometimes the differences are just too vast.
So theoretically I would date a much older man. but will it happen? And would they date me? Lol. Another issue presents itself!

MrKinktastic · Accepted Answer

On average women trend towards dating men about 4 years older than them. I think a lot of it has to do with the fact that women tend to date at or above their own socioeconomic status and men date parallel or lower (on average).

This is probably to do with the man’s relative level of accomplishments in comparison to younger men as well as his maturity. Younger guys are still needing to prove themselves and show some markers that they are on the path to a stable career and it might be seen as a riskier bet to get serious with a young guy who hasn’t made any real achievements yet (like owning a house/car or other socioeconomic indicators).

Men tend to prefer women who look youthful and put less emphasis on the woman’s accomplishments so are generally willing to date a bit younger as long as the woman is interesting to talk to/easy to spend time with. Neither are hard and fast rules and women do date younger men sometimes it’s just less common.

As for why a woman would go for a much older man it’s probably mostly to do with relative economic stability, he can provide a house and a safe environment for her where she doesn’t have to grow up and take responsibility for her own finances etc so can remain a bit more carefree. If she comes from a background where money was a constant stressor that caused her parent/s a lot of grief it’s easy to see why that might be a priority for her.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

Well because he's likely more mature, experienced at life, and has resources (lets be honest most women love $$$). As for myself, honestly I've come to the realization I can't be with younger women. I dont have the patience for them and their lack of maturity in many cases. I dont like to tip toe around something. I'm very direct and sugar coating isn't for me. Also younger women seem very, very flighty. very quick to trade up, divorce, cheat, from my experience. I need someone who has their head on straight, seen the shit the world has to throw at them, and then become humbled and realize that laundry list of demands they had for a guy was all BS and didn't matter.

Do I want kids? yes. Will it be harder? yes. Are their options opened to still having them with the right person? Yes. Science has come a long way and if all else failed surrogacy is on the table if you honestly found the right girl for you to do that with. Older women aren't demanding the spotlight, they actually share it with you and give back in the relationship. Out of all the girls I dated my age or younger I've NEVER experienced that once.

Brainsbeforebeauty · Answer

Just because there's an age gap doesn't mean the relationship won't work.. And maybe she was trying to point out that you didn't marry a much older man yet your relationship ended in divorce.. if you want to help your friend, you should be a supportive friend instead of trying to push your views of right and wrong onto her and her relationship. If it works for her and she's happy, that's what should matter as her "friend"

OlderAndWiser · Answer

"It is a recepy for desaster."

coachTanthony · Answer

Older men usually have their shit together.

ManOnFire · Answer

They think older is better. But then, I too also like older women. However, I've resigned myself to the fact that I better take a woman my age or a little younger if I want to have a family.

USMC-Crossroads · Answer

That's actually sad, to me. Since I was 19, I have always preferred to date "older" women... even when I was an Active-Duty in the Marine Corps. The reasons for that preference are simple.
➊ ~ They act like adults!
➋ ~ They usually have wider hips, (instant boner-fuel).
➌.🅰 ~ It's real easy to give women over 40 an orgasm.
➌-🅱 ~ They also tend to cum really hard, when they do.
➍ ~ And older-women are infinitely more interesting & enjoyable to talk with.

Example: I was 23, and had a something real with a 52-year-old. Truth-be-told, she was unbelieably fuckin hot, but still, an absolute pleasure to spend time around. And (again) I wasn't exactly 'lonely' back then, and I don't have some weird fetish. The point is (finally, I know), That women are just like men, in the way they improve A LOT with age. As for looks; I find laugh-lines sexy, and, as long as she is moderately toned (in the important places), a 50-something can just completely own me. The sad truth of the matter is... ⚠ WARNING TRUTH AHEAD ⚠ ... women are more harshly judged by OTHER WOMEN, rather than men. I swear, age-discolored skin is no match for how good pussy feels to a guy - and that IS NOT EVEN THE BEST PART of an older woman, anyway... (even though it really is pretty damn good)... but NO WAY does a woman's body give me the most pleasure; It's really not even comparable to how amazing just being alive can feel with the love, affection, and attention a woman comfortable in her femininity. I actually suspect, if I ever get to go to my own personal Heaven, then - all joking aside - I'll bet there is a woman waiting there; and will fill that ideal role of being bot a source of empathy, as well as satisfying my deep urge to protect something vulnerable.
So, with as fucked-up as the 'social' world is today, give here the appropriate cautionary tales of the possible future, and just let your friend enjoy her life. One thing I can promise; A 20 year-old guy will not know the right way to treat a woman... unless maybe, that guy is a U. S. Marine ;)

Anonymous · Answer

I’ve tried dating men my own age. They are immature, still living at home with mommy, aren’t financially irresponsible and in my town 99% of men under 25 are “party boys” who spend all their time and money out with their friends getting wasted.
I like older men because they have gotten over the party boy phase, they are financially mature, have their shit together and can normally hold down a job. They are also more honest and better at communicating than guys my age, and older men usually have no desire to fuck around with lots of women, most older guys want to find someone to settle down with. Which is exactly what I want too.

There’s men out there who think younger women only want them for their “money”, even though said men don’t really have money 😂 sure there are gold diggers out there, but there are also women who genuinely like older men and don’t use them for money.

My partner is 9 years older than me and he is the best person I have ever dated, and he is also the oldest person I’ve dated. He’s great at communicating, he’s mature, he’s not some loser who spends all their money on drugs or alcohol, he’s not a cheater, and he can financially support himself the same way that I can support myself, so neither of us have to rely on the other for money.

Anonymous · Answer

First of all that was very low of you to tell her that about her relationship, thanks for your concern for her but let HER figure that out if it’s true or not for her. That’s her relationship she CHOSE to be with him and get to know him. My parents have a 12 year age gap and they’re doing just fine together and haven’t divorced each other.. they’re about in their 60’s now so that should explain a lot to you. Some relationships with huge age gaps work and others don’t it just depends on their level of maturity and understanding. Instead of focusing on her life and just listening to her, focus on yourself my love I know with you mentioned about her mentioning your divorce and ex (you’re both basically projecting your own insecurities maybe even experiences onto each other) which that was pretty low of her too, just focus on trying to heal because I can tell that as soon as she mentioned that she basically hit some buttons so distance yourself from her and give yourselves some space so you both can heal.

WidowobiW · Answer

I don’t think you need to worry about your friend’s age requirement for men unless she is younger than 21. If she is, there is way more wrong with the scenario you’ve described. However, older men tend to match the energy you are putting out. Therefore, however your friend is reflecting her intentions to him is how she’s going to be treated. I’ve dated older men (after dealing with men 0-4 years older than me) and it was quite fun! Some were… honestly rather lame; but, that can happen at any age. Older men do tend to have an air of experience and stability yo them. They also tend to be less likely to make reckless mistakes or cause emotional damage that comes with figuring who one’s self is.

The fact of the matter is this, though: You wouldn’t be satisfied who she was dating if he weren’t doing exactly what you expect them to do. Which is whack. She isn’t dating you. Have an opinion if you want to, but she’s going to do what she wants. She’ll also learn whatever life lessons she needs to.

lilyanony1 · Answer

I think you shouldn't judge other people's relationships as a friend if you love and care for them it may be a shock at first but try to respect their decision if they're happy.
I will say this though I'm someone that would prefer to date older not because I have daddy issues but because in my experience I lack compatibility with people my own age.
I didn't socialise with kids my age and when I did they were quite devious.
I do find their are some older men that are just creeps but some that actually want to have a long term relationship. They just focused on their career before settling down.
And no I'm not a gold digger.
I have a great appreciation for lots of different things sometimes I find younger folk see it as me being a snob or a show off or weird.
Instantly older men see me as their cuppa tea!

Avicenna · Answer

Well, first of all, they probably don't exclusively date older men, and perhaps they want to for the following reasons:

-older guys usually appreciate younger women more than younger men do
-older guys have more life experience
-some women simply feel more comfortable with older guys

And, sure, sometimes it's just about money.

It's not clear to me why her dating a much older guy is such a "recipe for disaster". A relationship with someone her age is also unlikely to last for a very long time.

At the end of the day, we date individuals, not an age. We date for compatibility, and biological age and maturity levels don't always correlate to chronological age anyway.

A 40-45 year old man is generally not on his deathbed, so what exactly is the problem with her dating one?

Anonymous · Answer

Daddy issues and unresolved psychological complexes, or just lust
As you said these relationships don't last. I don't see what someone may have in common with someone 2 generations apart
Personally I've always preferred guys my own age or, up to 5-8 years older or 2 years youmger
Old guys on this site like to think they're hot, but in reality I doubt they look like George Clooney

wingattebaby16 · Answer

for me, i found dating older men is for me. My man is 19yo older than me..

I have stated my opinion before:

- Older men are not focused on their own Pleasure. They want the woman pleased first. Foreplay is important to them. They know that a "happy" woman is more involved in bed and enjoys it more.

- Older men are financially stable, have a job, a place to live, a car, etc.

Younger men:

- Only care about their own orgasm.
- Treat women like property.
- Expect you to tolerate their stupid video games 24x7
- Don't care or know what foreplay is.
- Want me to pay for their stuff.

etc.

I have dated over 50 men until i met my guy. 60% of them were over 30-40yo.

I dated guys my age in HS and after. They just dont get that women have Needs, Feelings, and need attention.

Canuck37 · Answer

Girls mature faster than boys. Girls usually begin puberty around age 11 while boys begin puberty around age 12. Girls usually end puberty around age 16 while boys usually end puberty around age 17.

This means that for most of their adolescent years, girls are used to the concept that they are more mature than boys their age, and if they want to find a boy at the same maturity level as them, they need to look older.

Now even though puberty is over by 17, I'd still argue that girls remain more mature than boys at the same age level until at least their mid-20s. Given that, it makes sense that women prefer older men. Maybe not twenty years older, but the motivation remains the same: women are looking for something they can't seem to find among their age-level peers.

Moose304 · Answer

At 63 I am single by choice and happy living alone. I just spent the weekend with a 40 something female Attorney. I also see a 30 something American Airlines Flight Attendant and a 30 something local TV news reporter. I don't hide anything and all of them know I do not date exclusively. Every one of these girls has been burned badly by men closer to their age and has told me they feel comfortable being around me. Since I now fire blanks they have the added protection of not having to worry about an unwanted pregnancy. I'm not sure why the OP has against May-December relationships, but honestly, I would highly recommend leaving this friend alone.

fred_durst · Answer

this thing usually happen when they missed their father figure on their childhood time , the father can be non existent , or work all the time so he has no time for their kids
later , those girls grow up and they are seeking for something that missing
OR , to put it on simply , we can call it daddy issue

Anonymous · Answer

They’re mostly a whole package.
I’m dating a dilf he’s 40 (he looks like he’s in his late 20’s😂) and i’m 22. Better conversations with almost everything, probably cuz he knows whats good nowadays. Well duh overall he turns me to be a better person with all the patience and lectures he gave me. Teaching me a lot of things, i wonder why he is so kind to me. I used to think that i don’t wanna take him seriously cuz i thought he was just playing with me but you see... He’s still here until today with me.

Hispanic-Cool-Guy · Answer

Big age gaps like the one you mentioned and them being together is usually because the man makes good money and she milks him for it.

#2: Younger men don't desire your friend so her options are very limited so she goes to the older guy who usually desire younger women.

People may deny it but it's reality. No pretty young woman dream and prayer is to be with a man that can be her dad or grandpa.

wankiam · Answer

thing is, you dont need to understand or judge... its about personal preferences and if you dont want an older guy yourself then thats fine but its also none of your business what other consenting adults do... to that end, do yourself a favour and dont stress over it.

AviatorTom · Answer

Older men are generally more settled economically and emotionally. And they are more experienced with sex. Why would someone not appreciate that?

Your post sounds more like you're jealous that your friend has found a good guy. Please stop complaining and feel good for her... and go find a good guy for yourself.

Sarahr123 · Answer

I prefer men older than me but not old enough to be my dad. My dad is 26 years older than me so anyone who is 20+ years older I would not even consider.

I like boys that are around 5-8 years older than me. I tend to be only attracted to boys 5/6 years older so they’re generally 28/29 now.

weysally · Answer

a lot can be that some young lads just fool around, where as an older man can and will engage in good conversation, I went with and older man when I was just 16, he taught me a lot, not just about sex but about life, I have never regretted it

jshm2 · Answer

You need to help yourself first, kiddo. You are divorced and acting high and mighty - she isn't.

As for dating. Whether it's older men or older women. The important thing is the relationship and dynamics. If both are winning out of it, then you should be stepping back as you are breaking the law annoying them, they aren't breaking the law by dating.

HighValue · Answer

Most people start out dating someone their own age. Most people are not life long partners with their first partner. Most same/close age relationships do NOT work out.

Plenty of older men (like me and the majority of my friends) are stronger and more fit than young guys.
Plus some older guys (depends on how much older/what generation) are better at video games and that is one of the most important skills. :P j/k

dudeinohio · Answer

I agree with your assessment. While some younger women are attractive to me, I'd never in a million years consider being with one. 8 years younger is my max.

loveslongnails · Answer

It doesn't matter if YOU don't agree with large age gaps - you're not the one dating the guy, your friend is. IF she's happy right now, let her enjoy it. Speak your peace once, then shut up and be a good friend. If it ends sooner than later, don't say "I told you so", just be there to comfort her, because that's what friends do.

Anonymous · Answer

1) Older men know how to spell "recipe."
2) How do you define "age category"? Within 2 years? Within 5? Why should your definition be adopted by your friends?
3) Why should your opinion about someone else's life matter?
4) Stop being a controlling bitch.

RealMarek · Answer

Twenty years is a very large age gap, but for most of human history a significant age gap was the norm. In the modern West we expect the age gap to be much smaller. But is this really healthy? The divorce rates and fertility rates of people of Western descent are at civilization-ending levels.

Staximus · Answer

You're 20 and divorced, and trying to give relationship advice? If your friend is happy and the guy years her right, then stay out of her relationship business. What many younger people these days don't learn until later in life is that you don't have to find somebody perfect. Know when somebody good enough is standing in front of you before you leave them for another that turns out to be worse.

Gwenhwyfar · Answer

They’re sexy (some of them at least). That being said, there are some very hot younger guys too.

Diodoro · Answer

To be fair You're divorced and in no place to speak on her relationship. And you're saying it's uncalled for her to do exactly what you're doing. It's not your place to tell her what she should want

all_hayl · Answer

Maybe because many men don’t grow up till they’re in their 40s and 50s. This site alone, you see lots of guys even in their 30s just looking for a vagina instead of an actual relationship.

genericname85 · Answer

Because older men are more settled and established in life and are the more secure provider for potential offspring than younger dudes.

Humans aren't complex. We're still just stupid monkeys. So you can actually understand a lot about humans, if you consider them to be stupid monkeys, cause you'll see that's exactly how they behave.

zagor · Answer

What is there that makes you think people should only date within a couple years of their age? There are a lot of big age diffs that have worked out fine.

And in the case of your friend, MYOB. In my experience friends give terrible dating advice.

ODC2112 · Answer

The male and female maturation is different. Females mature in steps, while males mature poorly but continuously. Therefore, in order to have the same degree of maturity, man has a shift of many years. Mature men are able to provide security and protection, but also support and trust. Spiritual and intellectual enrichment. As mentioned, being able to deal with someone more mature allows you to test yourself, but also to learn.

Tracee · Answer

I wouldn't prefer to date older men better for hookups or just weekend things. But I know women date older men basically for their money or because of their maturity.

Sirenboobzilla · Answer

One of my friends started dating a dude her grandpa's age when she was 18... She's 26 now and he's 60. I legit want to vomit every time I see them

TheLittleInnocent · Answer

Well personally for me, older guys are generally more mature and more stable. I stan dilfs and silver foxes.

bamesjond0069 · Answer

Big age gaps where the man is older are much better. I've dated girls my age and its useless and tbh i have zero interest and its just about sex. The big age gaps were not just about sex because to me only young women have relationship value older women have none typically.

MrCommodore · Answer

It depends on the age gap, like some of the most successful and happiest long-term couples I know have the man 5-10 years older.

But if its 20 year age gap, I can see where over time that connection would fall apart.

ally018 · Answer

Let her learn herself. Sometimes people don’t want your honest opinion of their relationship. If she wants to play this out then let her then you can say you told her so if something goes wrong.

doopayo · Answer

Here’s a good video I watched discussing that topic:

nice-girl · Answer

Because if you ignore age, he was the best possible match in her case.

Fireguy17 · Answer

maturity, they tend to be more settled down, less apt to chase other women, they can usually offer more security.
Most times they are more well off financially so there won't be as big of a struggle that way.

SakuraPink · Answer

Older man might have more self a steam, and sometimes they feel more protective when woman is younger, they feel more dominant, therefor more attracted to women... A women feels more appreciated, loved and chareshed. But this can also happen if a guy is younger, its all about their characters

elizamichale1 · Answer

Because they r more matured more stable emotionally n better at sex n know what they r doing n also with better money lol

Wgatap999 · Answer

Because we are more mature than what we quite a few of us are and we don't play games and we want something more than just to hook up

BlackTealLazer · Answer

Older men tend to be more mature than men the same age. More mellow. More focused. I liked guys who are 3-10 years older than me, personally.

Guanfei · Answer

Why older? Why younger? Why blonde and not redhead? Why date men and not women? Why do I like blue more than red?
You don't explain preferences, they're here, and even those who have it didn't choose it.

Mehzmeh · Answer

I can say this. It’s a 95% it will not work. But, usually it’s because the older man is usually going through a mid life crisis. Or he is flaunting money in front of her. It’s the same for a older woman with a younger man.

sheikalana · Answer

For the simple fact that older men are usually more mature and stable in life however, this is not always the case.

Blackcupcake · Answer

I think it’s individual preference... you don’t have to like it or agree with it but don’t push your opinions on others

pup4life · Answer

I don’t like old men but I like older men then me, mainly because it means they may have more experience or be more mature and respectful then younger men

Wester1967 · Answer

I tell men never ever date older women, much less women in their peer age group. Women, like you, just want power and control. It takes an age gap to wrestle down a gynocratic hyena.

jamesgoldman · Answer

Money and power Older men are great (definitely not biased to free some older women up for myself)

whosnumber1 · Answer

I have dated women half my age and had very positive experiences in all cases. I'm still friends with them all and will remain that way.

AkshiJanjua · Answer

Its kind of weird to me. I personally wouldn't date a girl who dates old men as her father's age or closer

FunkyMonkee · Answer

We've got more experience and have a better idea of what to do, how to do it and which of her buttons to push to make her cum.

slatyb · Answer

Is he mistreating her? Then keep your opinion to yourself. No one wants to hear it.

Browneye57 · Answer

You're not trying to help her, just mind your own fucking business.  Older guys are smarter, richer, better looking, and WAY WAY better in the sack. You're just clueless all the way around.

nawtee_me · Answer

love concurs all... Relationships take both people involved to make it work. If they both are willing to listen to the other and work at making a real relationship then it will work out... Key words are "both willing".

Why do some women prefer older men?

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