When you take interest in someone new, how much does your fam/friends opinion of the person matter?

[DizzyDesii]

I don’t give much of a fck what others think. But when things start to seem sketch and I’m unsure of if the flags are red then I start to care for other’s advice. Usually by then, its too late lol. But Other than that, no one can tell me much. I’m stubborn and a risk taker plus I tend to walk a path that could lead to learning the hard way. #FeelFreeToList

Their opinion hardly matters. I’ll hear them out but think/choose for myself

Their opinion means everything. I cannot date someone who my family thinks is wrong for me

Their opinion doesn’t matter at all. I’ll date who I want no matter how they feel.

I’ll try to prove their opinion wrong by continuing to date the person and allowing my family more of a chance to get to know them

[Lottydotty]

Over all does not mean lick of shit what another says or thinks. I've lived long enough trying to follow what friends and fam would do. They're all in a similar pit of depression and loneliness. It kinda sucks but you gotta hold your own on your own sometimes with these.

I think there's a time in life where advice is necessary, but after you KNOW you know about how to know how to handle yourself from your own trials and errors.

A quote I like is "it's a relationship, not a group project"

[Maybe_Maybe_not]

My family has usually no opinions on this matter, when they have, they are rather supportive. Friends hmmm depends on the friend's window on this matter, short list:

• edgy friend (watch your back, don't let her control you)
• standard friend (whatever floats your boat, GL&HF)
• sentimental friend (great news ! awwwww 😍)
• busy friend (cool, ttyl!)
• intrigued friend (what's her age, sex, city, color, car, job, religion)

[Maybe_Maybe_not]

Note: the intrigued friend is usually the javascript friend

[DizzyDesii]

Lmao javascript 😂

[Finchie40]

Their opinions really don’t matter, but it would depend on what their concerns were in the first place , if they were just assuming she was a certain way , it would go on one ear out the other , but if they had solid proof she was a certain way , then that might raise some questions of concerns , but overall what really matters is her and I. If she treats me good , and is honest and respectful and loving to me , and brings happiness into my life , that’s all that matters , People that like to talk shit are just jealous of the connection her and I share together , she wouldn’t be my girlfriend period if she was an horrible person so I would need valid proof that she was not just assumptions

[DizzyDesii]

Yes i need proof cause these hoes jealous

[alice55]

Depend on which opinion and on which matters is it, my family have some racist view concerning certains race / culture so if their bad opinion come from those racist view then it wouldn't matter to to me but if their concerns / bad opinion on the person I'm dating is actually from what they consider as bad behavior or feeling something fishy, etc.. then it would matter to me, I would keep it in mind and analyze the behavior of the person I'm dating to see if their concern proves true or not.

[DizzyDesii]

Would you be okay with the guy not wanting to meet your fam because of their views, even if he is the same race as you?

[alice55]

If he's the same race as me no it wouldn't be ok, I mean he could at least meet them one time and even so they're family so I can't really avoid them on big events such as Christmas, Easter, etc...

[DizzyDesii]

Yea i refuse to be with another guy whose family has racist views and that goes for any race even if he's my own. If you can't speak up to your fam then you shouldn't bring someone in that environment. people get killed all the time because they go against their parents wishes but they dont stand their ground and protect the partner that they brought around people with such views

[alice55]

The most racist person in my family is my grandfather and he literally cannot walk much (he need to get hospitalized for it but he refuse to do so because it's too dangerous because of heart issue), it would be dangerous to bring someone of another race in from of him but if he's White like me it would not be dangerous just very annoying to hear him rant.
Standing up to family is a things a do with everyone except him ( I call my mother out of her bullshit when she say racist stuff to Arab, last time I went to but a set crop top / skirt and she said some racist stuff about the seller so I called her out on it), my grandfather is a whole other story, last time my mother tried to stand up to him because he was being mean to my grandmother he literally told her while screaming he was in his house doing whatever he wanted and he would just throw us out if she / we weren't happy...(so my mother got quiet because my grandmother asked for us not to fight and make peace) there's no arguing with him or anything because if not he would just throw us out... I can understand not wanting to meet him but as for my others family member even if they have some racist view I easily stand up to them, it's really just my grandfather with who we literally can't argue / say anything. He also spend his life blowing up on me for the tiniest stuff.
My maternal grandmother does also have some racist view but I call her out easily (and my uncle also call her out so he back me up).
I can easily stand up tp anybody even people twice my weight and height just my grandfather is a whole other story and I won't force anybody (even people of my own race to meet him);

[DizzyDesii]

Well im glad you at least tried. My grandpa said something when i was with someone Asian. He called them a terrorist. I got his ass together right then and there. He is like my best friend so only i can get through to him. I don't know if he still views things the way he did that day but he learned to stfu and not speak nonsense outloud. My fam knows i will choose my future over them everytime

[alice55]

Thank you :)
It's good he respect you and didn't continue to say such things, some people are tougher to get to though so they need to "be put in place" more than one time but with some other is it just a lost case no matter how hard you try.

[DizzyDesii]

My exes could never get their parents and grandparents together. Only one tried. I can't be with someone who doesn't stand up for their future

[alice55]

Understandable though sometime no matter how hard you tried some people just refuse to changed their view. is it very frustrating

[DizzyDesii]

This is why i rather date an orphan lmao

[alice55]

It's sure there's no problem with the in Laws like that XD

[Twalli]

If Ai like someone I am not seeing them the same way others are. I know my parents and sister want who is best for me. My parents met up with my fiancée's parents within 6 months because they knew that if we continued, marriage was a possibility and they wanted to make sure that my girlfriend's family was good.

I can honestly say I haven't liked any of my sister's boyfriends. I don't have any issues with them, but the thought of my sister having sex honestly is revolting 🤮. So to know someone is doing that with my sister doesn't exactly lead me to liking them. And, although it probably doesn't matter, she was never with a virgin.

[DizzyDesii]

Damn

[molonski2]

Not family that would be irrelevant to me , but I've found over time that its extremely important what others think , there is always a reason , and its probably something that I'm not seeing , no one is going to tell you ( not at my age ) , but it means vastly more investigation is required.. Why do they feel that?

In my last 3 year event , I should have asked some others , a lot came out after.

[DizzyDesii]

Thats why i hear people out cause i know they see what i may not. But ima still choose for myself at the end of the day

[molonski2]

We all have to Dizz , but you also need to hear , and when its a constant ( same same ) you need to hear loud and clear sometimes what is actually going on.

[DizzyDesii]

I rather see. Show me the receipts

[molonski2]

Yes , generally speaking.. Where there is smoke.. ( but remember , you are in love , so you will not want to see the fire ) ..
We all are guilty of " rose coloured glasses " to at least some degree , you know this , you would have seen with your friends.

[DizzyDesii]

Im a bit diff. I wear soundproof headphones 😂 but if you show me, i’ll look

[molonski2]

Headphones -- eyes - whatever , same same..
Reality bites.

[DizzyDesii]

But hearing word of moth is different from seeing proof. I’m willing to see the proof

[molonski2]

Okey , its your life , your mindset - Goodnight I gotta sleep , its late here.

[MicahRaine]

My family have proven that they are not trustworthy and are not honest judges of character. So no, I don't really care what they think. I'll listen to them and hear them out, but I won't give it much weight unless they present concrete evidence

[DizzyDesii]

Same

[JSkye]

My family is really hard on anyone I decide to date. No one is ever good enough for me, or so I am told. I would still be single at my age if I had to wait for my family to approve of someone.

[DizzyDesii]

Screw their opinion

[JSkye]

Exactly lol

[Maybe_Maybe_not]

aka the tyranny of perfection, with a dose of overprotectiveness?

[JSkye]

@Maybe_Maybe_not yes indeed

[MisterWack]

“ Their opinion doesn’t matter at all. I’ll date who I want no matter how they feel. “

Though, if they warned me about possible red flags I’d take it into consideration & seriously before going steady though my current girlfriend is amazing!

[ohmyguy]

Can't or would say their opinions wouldn't have or carry no weight. I consider and give thought to what I d interpret as valid... and dismiss what I find out of context or irrelevant.
I like to think I'm respected by thoughs Closest to me.. they would only question my judgement if my actions were way off base and out of character

[NathanDavis]

anyone else's opinion does not really... matter

but also, it has never been an issue... it has never been a negative or controversial one, so it has never been significantly problematic or something...

[worldscolide]

Very little. It's only after they have been around my friends for a while that I take their opinions to heart.

[DizzyDesii]

I've learned that my fam and friends are bitter and don’t always want whats best for me. Misery loves company. So i’d take GAGs opinion over theirs lmao

[Dinklex3]

Their opinion doesn’t mean shit, lol.

I never inform my family when I’m in a relationship & my friends and boyfriend are usually separate.

[HawkPerception]

Not much at all. I have the final say of who I'm with. It would be NICE if family and friends got along with them, but the main thing is that it feels right FOR ME to be with them.

[Mark987]

I have only introduced a few women to my family, but they're very welcoming.

[DizzyDesii]

Thats good

[Jamie05rhs]

F*ck them hoes. This is my relationship, not theirs.

[Jamie05rhs]

by the way, I voted D. Lol

[DizzyDesii]

😂😂

[Jamie05rhs]

Lol I knew you would like that one. 😅

[Wiredone]

I'll listen to what they think but in the end, it's my decision if I stay with her or not

[DizzyDesii]

Yepp

[Yannae]

The only reason why my family knows is that my brother's girlfriend SNITCHED xD
As for friends, they get to know. You can't always see what the third party sees in her.

[Nikki1989]

I will listen to anyone, but at the end of the day I will do what I want to do.

[DishLady]

They can weigh in and I’ll consider their opinion, but my choice is ultimately mine.

[Jltakk]

A little, only because I am too poor to move out and I'm stuck with my annoying family. But my principle is to not date till I am financially independent

[_lexiesplanet_]

i would go off on my own opinion... if im not sure of something ill ask an on the outside opinion

[WhitneySnow]

I’m a lot like you

[DizzyDesii]

Lol i always like hearing that

[LiamJHayden]

If my best friend dislikes her, it ends. We are like brother and sister, hyper protective of each other.

[DizzyDesii]

I see

[Ms_Facesitter]

Their opinion matters. My friend's.

[Anonymous]

Probably a lot
Ashamed to say

[jahaims]

Zero