I think my mom hates my wife. How do I handle this?

[Anonymous]

My mom straight-up hates my wife, and it’s becoming a huge issue. Whenever we’re all together, my mom makes passive-aggressive comments or just completely ignores her. It’s really stressing me out because I love them both, but I don’t know how to get them to get along. I’ve tried talking to my mom, but nothing changes. Anyone been through this? How do I handle it without picking sides or making things worse?

[Oliverlogan263]

Dude, that's a super tough situation. Having your mom hate your wife has got to be really stressful and awkward. I can definitely understand why you're feeling stuck in the middle.

The best thing to do here is to try to stay neutral and not pick sides, even though it's gotta be tempting to take your wife's side. That's just gonna make things worse in the long run. You don't want to end up having to choose between the two most important women in your life.

The first step is to have an honest, one-on-one conversation with your mom. Let her know that you've noticed the tension and that it's really bothering you. Tell her you love her, but you also love your wife, and you need her to at least be civil and respectful when you're all together. Make it clear that you won't tolerate any passive-aggressive comments or blatant ignoring.

If she continues with that behavior, you might have to set some boundaries. Tell her that you'll leave or end the visit if she can't treat your wife with respect. You've gotta stand up for your partner, but do it in a way that doesn't totally shut your mom out.

As for your wife, make sure she knows you've got her back. Let her know that you see what your mom is doing and that you don't condone it. Assure her that your loyalty is with her, and that you'll always have her best interests in mind. She's gotta feel supported.

In the meantime, try to find neutral ground where the three of you can hang out. Maybe suggest doing a family activity or outing where the focus isn't just on the two of them. That way, you can try to defuse the tension a bit.

I know it's not an easy situation, bro. Navigating family drama is always tough. But you've gotta find a way to keep the peace without compromising your relationship with your wife. Stay strong, be the voice of reason, and don't be afraid to put your foot down when necessary. You've got this!

[BarryLiverstone]

You have to pick sides and you are married to your better half, so stand up for your wife and have a one on one talk with your mom. Let her know you will always love her as a mom but that she needs to try and accept your wife as family. Listen and ask your mom if she has specific reasons that can be addressed.

[BarryLiverstone]

And I know you talked to your mom, so if she decides not to change then it is what it is. End of the day your wife is your ride or die so make sure she’s loved

[HollyK21]

Simply put, stop trying to force them together. You love them both so you want them to get along, but now that you’re married you need to grow some balls and start advocating for your wife, protecting her. I don’t know what’s happened in the past, but it sounds like your mother is being horrible to her, and if your wife is innocent here then she shouldn’t have to endure that. My advice is if you want to go see or hang out with your mom, do that on your own time. I would hope your mom wouldn’t have the audacity to ask why she isn’t there for this or that, but if she does then only explain once that until she’s kinder to your wife then she won’t be seeing her.

[XHopelessRomanticX]

You need to prioritize your wife. You vowed to love, honor, and protect her for better or worse in good times and bad. This situation with your mom is one of those times where your vows need to mean something.

[solare]

It sounds like a difficult situation. You might try talking to your mom again, but this time, focus on how her behavior affects you directly. Make it clear that you want a peaceful relationship with both of them. Encourage patience and understanding on both sides, without forcing them to get along immediately.

[Asker]

I’ll definitely emphasize my desire for a peaceful relationship with both of them and encourage patience and understanding on both sides. I agree, there’s no need to force them to get along right away.

[blunty]

That sounds really challenging. I’d suggest continuing to have open, honest conversations with your mom, explaining how it makes you feel. At the same time, support your wife and validate her feelings. Sometimes giving them space while setting boundaries might help. Focus on maintaining respect and peace without taking sides.

[Asker]

I will make an effort to clearly express my feelings and boundaries, while also understanding my partner's feelings.

[molonski2]

You have to pick sides and you have to select your wife , you can't sit in the middle , just explain to your mother than such behavior on her part will simply NOT be tolerated , this is your wife , STAND up for your wife , you married her. You cannot sit as an independent , get to work.

[HelpfulWoman]

your mum is being an asshole. time to limit contact with her and state your boundaries CLEARLY.
You HAVE TO PICK SIDES. you're going to end up divorced if your wife has any semblance of intelligence

[BarryLiverstone]

Right? Any woman who values herself as a person and wife would not let their husband waffle and not pick sides. He decided to marry her, not his mom

[daniel]

It’s tough when two important people in your life clash. Be patient and continue to communicate openly with both sides. Express your feelings to your mom, emphasizing that her behavior is affecting you. At the same time, support your wife and encourage understanding. Don't force them together but try to keep things peaceful.

[Asker]

Thank you so much for this thoughtful advice. It’s definitely challenging when two important people clash, but I agree that patience and open communication are key.

[mobiusforniner]

Been there. You kindly tell your mom of the conflict and give her chance to self reflect and take ownership. If she continues the behavior, you stop talking to your mom. I’m no contact with my mom for several years now.

[Garud]

Make a judgement without any emotions.
Take the side of what is right without any hesitation.

or

keep them away from each other

[Garud]

remember, mom die, wife will remain

[Unit1]

You see, you've been brought into a situation, where you're pretty much forced to pick sides. Sooner or later it will happen to pretty much everybody. If not, then that person can consider itself lucky.

This is your call.

[red-lipstick-girl]

First you need to find out why your mother hates your wife, if there is a valid reason you should talk to both your wife and your mother and find a middle ground.

[1inchBANANA]

you turn me on

[Flower7]

You can’t help them to get along. Keep them separated.

[Bricealan]

Sounds like a personal problem... see the Chaplin

[Mangospacho]

Tell your mother you won’t be spending time with her until she can treat your wife like a human being.

[Anonymous]

Generally you don't change old people, so your mom is likely a lost cause. Tell your wife to ignore her. Always take your wife's side. And spend less time with them together.

[jahaims]

Your mom doesn't respect you or your wife. Stop being a push over.

[Xoirwinkan]

You need to defend your wife when your mom gets out of line

[Anonymous]

It's because one of them is wrong so you need to listen and find out who it is so you can remove them from your life because it is only going to make your life harder if you don't.

[Crazzyyworld]

Bad girls can get together for a bad reason. Buy them a male strippers in a same room

[Crazzyyworld]

Actually they are trying to get your attention. So if you love them both it’s causing the trouble in the first place. You need to make sure them that you love both of them and give them attention equally. They are jealousy

[Anonymous]

Fix your age, kid.

[Jmmmfi4]

CALL DR. PHIL