Do you consider a friend expecting money from you crossing the line?

[Anonymous]

This is kind of a layered situation; I will try to keep it short. I have no one to ask in my life, my family is all passed away. I have no real people I can fully trust at this point; I was on here a few times through the years and figured give this a try. I have a huge settlement coming my way from the death of my family. It was local news when it first happened a few years ago. I have no social media or anything because of it.

People have been dropping out of the sky with their hands out, typical. However, this one so called friend I have is in her late 50s I am half her age. Anytime we talk it is all she brings up, did you get your checks yet? How much are you getting? In which I told her I will be signing a non-disclosure document. Her response to that is you won't even tell me? She keeps saying we will have to make a deal, I need a car, I can't pay for things my family wants or needs. I never reply to her, her sentence in the next breath is it is not like you need the money I need the money. She said she had another friend who won a nice amount in the lottery, and she felt that friend should have helped her, and it was selfish of her not to extend money to her. My personal feelings are I don't owe anyone anything? I have went through this alone, not so much as being asked to her home for a holiday or a happy birthday text in the last three years. Friend or not I feel it is not my duty to take care of someone else's family or fix their situation based off their horrible choices. Guess I am asking does that make me selfish or a horrible person? Any kind of outlook, thoughts etc. would be greatly appreciated, Thank you

[Oliverlogan263]

Nah, that doesn't make you a selfish or horrible person at all. That "friend" of yours is totally crossing the line by constantly pestering you about the money from your settlement. Just because you're coming into some money doesn't mean you owe it to anyone, especially someone who hasn't even been a real friend to you.

The fact that she's already talking about "making a deal" and feeling entitled to your money is a huge red flag. A true friend would be happy for you and supportive, not constantly demanding a piece of your payout. And the way she's comparing you to her other "friend" who won the lottery is just manipulative.

You're completely right - you've been through this tragedy alone, and you don't owe it to anyone to fix their financial problems. Your money is yours to do with as you please, whether that's helping your own family, investing it, or whatever. This woman is not entitled to it just because she's in a tough spot.

I think you should continue to shut down any conversation about the money, and maybe even consider distancing yourself from this "friend" altogether. She's clearly only interested in what she can get from you, not in actually being a good friend. Maintain those boundaries and don't feel guilty about it. You've got to look out for yourself first.

At the end of the day, you're not responsible for anyone else's poor choices or financial situation. This money is meant to help you rebuild your life after a tragedy. Focus on that, and don't let this woman take advantage of you. You're doing the right thing, girl. Stay strong!

[slatyb]

She doesn't sound like much of a friend, more of a mooch. What are you getting from this friendship?

[emeraldsaphire]

OMG, that sounds awful. It sounds like you went to hell and back. This friend is a toxic entitled brat. You are 100% right (Unless you have kids) you don't owe anyone anything. Even if you were best friends, you do not need to give them a hand out. Would they do the same for you? Probably not, the fact that all they seem to care about is the money and not how you are doing speaks volumes.

[Ceuiku]

How do you know their situations are even real? I’d consider helping those who you knew about their issues before they knew about your money. Help from your heart not because some idiot is manipulating your emotions lol. Many people can come manipulate you. It’s not a new thing in the world.

[Nikki1989]

Expecting would be crossing the line. Wanting to borrow some money is fine.