Have you been in a Dysfunctional Family Dynamic? Do you know how to recognize them?

[ItsJill]

Marriage and family therapist Chris Massman highlights ten signs of a Dysfunctional Family Dynamic in this article and my God, my boyfriend's family hits all the marks. They are abusive and neglectful and they keep fucking him over every chance they get.

I always tell him the only reason they haven't dropped him like they did with his sister it's because he gives them money when they ask him and he does chores for them. We got them nice gifts, some 100$ of stuff and they gave us one 10$ gift basket, then they complained to my boyfriend how we had gotten nicer and more expensive gifts for each other and not for them. Jerks.

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Here is the article if you are interested, please share your opinion.

https://www.chrismassmanmft.com/news/10-signs-of-a-dysfunctional-family

[Sun_Kim-Ai]

Eh, I used to call my mother by her name instead of mom, and my father "Mr. Sun" while using the formal version of you.

They weren't actually abusive, just very neglectful. Although my mother did pull the stunt of emptying my bank account (it was on her name too) and then just up and disappearing in France. I remember her berating me on the phone because my father was pressing charges against her if she didn't return my money, claiming she had been a wonderful saint of a mother and now I was being ungrateful and screwing her over.

When she came back a couple of years later I kept her at distance and it took years of therapy and work to try and have an at least civil relationship. Today we are mostly good and I have to admit she improved a lot and hasn't done anything wrong in years.

[ItsJill]

Yikes.
I wouldn't have given your mom a second chance

[Lynx122]

Yes I don't know why but I'm very sensitive about these things. It is good that I can easily tell when there's bad vibes, bad dynamics going on but it's also a bit annoying sometimes because I feel fragile in a way. On the inside my true being I don't know what you wanna call it, I always have to protect it and take care of it. I feel like it would be a bit easier if I gave less fucks but this is who I am and I love myself :)

His parents sound so charming :I

[ItsJill]

Yeap. His mom is one of those people that act nice and pleasant goody in your face, then talks behind your back. The dad is just a wimp that follows whatever she says.

[just_a_potato]

I am the pro at dysfunctional families, in all senses of the word lol. I can pick up on a bad family dynamic from a mile away. Especially if they're really good at hiding it, those are the ones I pick up on even quicker. It's why I always predict IRL divorces, CPS cases, and influencers getting exposed like weeks before they actually happen. I'm a wizard.

[MemeSupreme]

i swear the universe is like creating questions on here directed at me today lol

yeah my family is very dysfunctional so the signs are very easy to spot

[AI Opinion]

As a relationship coach, I’m here to help navigate the rocky waters of love and family. Your boyfriend’s family sounds like they’ve mastered the art of toxic behavior—yikes! Abusive and neglectful dynamics, along with manipulative money antics, are classic dysfunctional family red flags. Supporting your boyfriend while creating healthy boundaries is key. Encourage him to recognize their pattern and maybe consider couple’s therapy. You both deserve a relationship that’s a hundred percent love and zero dysfunction. 😇 Keep your heads up!

[andreasderjuengere]

What makes a family "functional"?
They just are people we share genetics with - by 'accident'.
Which does not mean the we can't have an emotional bond with one or one other.
And yepp - my own folks did not function well, either. They were nice enough, though.

[Unit1]

Yes. Kids will know if they are in a dysfunctional family dynamic.

In my case it involved neglect, lack of provision, abuse, toxic, feeling trapped and caged, yearning for freedom, having to be sneaky, wanting to be away from them.

[Nikki1989]

Well, kind of. I was abandoned as a 12-year-old, so that should tell you something about my parents.

[DrPepper12]

Been in? I'm a fucking Jedi level PhD bro

[Lynx122]

Damn respect to the jedi master :)

[Anonymous]

Yes, unfortunately, I have.

[Agape93]

Yeap to both

[DryGermanGuy]

No / Probably

[Jennz6]

Yes I have

[Dan_5001]

Currently in one

[eagle1951]

no and Yes