Friends deleted our pictures when I said I needed a break?

[Lalalove11]

The issue is she broke my trust. This was her last message :

"Thank you for expressing your truth. Wish you all the very best. I understand that it wasn’t an easy decision, and I respect that. And take your time of course. I also need to focus on myself and career. Also, I want to respect your request for time and focus. and I didn’t want you to feel pressured by seeing group updates, so if you don't see group A it is because of that and... I deleted the group B server since no one uses it anymore. Just letting you know, nothing personal. The only thing for me is, I don’t think we can be friends again or that things could go back to how they were. I think that’s honestly what is best for both of us, I think you would agree."

Her actions seem a bit much even though her message seems neutral. She is also contracting herself by saying she is respecting my need for time, but then says at the end that we can't be friends and she thinks I'd agree 🤔

[HollyK21]

I guess I’m just not sure how else you wanted her to handle it. If I step into her shoes and look at the fact that I’m apologizing to my friend yet she says I’m untrustworthy, she needs a break, on top of this not being a first offense, I would also think that you aren’t interested in being my friend again and that a “break” is your nice way of ghosting. You being upset with her taking down your pics and calling it insensitive is just a bit self centered because you can’t tell people how to grieve, how to hurt. Maybe she isn’t down on her knees begging for your forgiveness but it doesn’t mean she isn’t sad about your choice and if this is how she handles it then that’s on her.


I think you subconsciously want to keep your foot in the door to have a change of heart, but that doesn’t work for everyone. I know I wouldn’t care to keep the memories of you posted on my socials or have you peeping in the group chats yet won’t talk to me. I’ll respect your “break” but you don’t get to pick and choose when I’m going to matter, so I’d rather remove you completely. At least that’s how I’m looking at it, from a non biased perspective.

[Lalalove11]

It's true I was not 100% set in what my final decision was. But I guess we are mutually feeling the same thing which is to just end the friendship now , so yes I could've been clearer on that before messaging her. I'll try be less indecisive or passive aggressive in the future.

[Lalalove11]

I also tried to keep my post short but it's a bit more nuanced. The friendship was probably starting to deteriorate before this incident , and it was the incident that finished it. And your words of 'accusing me of being untrustworthy ' aren't entirely true. It is not an accusation. What she did clearly demonstrated selfishness and a disregard for a boundary I clearly stated

[HollyK21]

Friendships, especially those that are long term, almost always have some nuance. I just believe there are nuances you can work through vs things you’re incompatible with. In all honesty you may not be in a position to receive her apologies as genuine because there’s so much water under the bridge, and your reluctance to end the friendship is really you holding onto memories of what was. If you two have grown apart or she just hasn’t been that great of a friend, then it’s better to be apart, without there being a gray area of the unknown aka taking a break. It’s hard to know how to act within a break, like do you check in now and then? Don’t speak at all? Give it a time frame? I think that’s too nuanced. As for the “accusations of being untrustworthy”, I don’t know the background to all this or what led up to it so for me to say accusations is just because I don’t have knowledge of what happened.

[Lalalove11]

Okay I understand better now thanks. And yeah I've decided to end it. she said she thinks it would be better so I agreed.

[Anonymous]

Seems like you might have dodged a bullet. Move on.

[RHK36]

People that say they need to take a break from any type of relationship are just passive aggressive cowards that just can't rip the band-aid off.

You said she broke your trust and you need space. Honestly not sure how or why you could ever be real close again. In my eyes she's just being a tad bit more adult about by just ending it. You'll both move on to new people in the future. In the end she just matched your pettiness of needing space with her pettiness to end it and move on.

Best suggestion is enjoy the space and make new friends. Don't waste time and energy on relationships that have run their course. The older you get you'll realize you won't stay friends with everyone and it's not a bad thing. That's just life.

[Lalalove11]

Yes you're right I should just say I don't want to be friends anymore. I guess I was shocked that she showed her true colours in the end and I wasn't sure 100% if we could remain friends but now I'm sure and she can see it too. But yeah you're right , I'll just tell her I feel the same

[Bklynbadboy12]

But what happened why did she just switch up like that

[Lalalove11]

@Bklynbadboy12 I don't know.. I think she tried to take control by kicking me out of a group, deleting our Instagram photos and then deleting our shared Instagram account. I can't see why else she just decided that. To be in control or something.

[Bklynbadboy12]

She's so childish. Move on trust me you don't need a friend like that

[Lalalove11]

I'm glad someone agrees. Maybe I could be more direct and say I don't want to be friends anymore though. I'm being accused of being a coward and passive aggressive by people on here for saying I needed space. So maybe I could try being more direct.

[Bklynbadboy12]

If she can't see that she has a great friend in you that's her loss

[Bklynbadboy12]

And thank for the MHO

[Lalalove11]

It's sad but might be for the best. She deleted our shared Instagram without asking and was defensive when I simply asked her if she did. Her actions come across differently to how she's trying to portray herself. It hurts but better to end it now since she's shown a disregard for my boundaries

[eagle1951]

wow that sucks

[Lalalove11]

I know right.. she decided she wanted to end it it sounds like. Makes me wonder how sincere her apology was

[Abbycado]

Alrighty. What is the question?

[Lalalove11]

My question is was her reaction extreme for deleting our pics on insta together and seemingly kicking me out of a group just cos I said I wanted a break from our friendship after she betrayed me.

[Abbycado]

Yeah, and childish.

[Lalalove11]

Right , yet her message seems neutral and yet her actions say otherwise. Hence why I was confused , but yeah it was insensitive thing to do

[Abbycado]

I agree with that. Totally overboard.