Have I screwed up this friendship?

[Anonymous]

Long story short I met someone few months ago there was romantic interest but it didn't go further, I introduced her to my friend group we all stream so for a while thing were pretty good

Then things got a bit rough, me and her fell out about twice because one situation someone told her things that I didn't want (Me still having feelings etc) and something similar, so for the last few months I've wanted to just work on not causing any more issues. She moved out her flat back late January but I was a bit concerned with how quiet she was so i mentioned it to a mutual friend

Next day him and another friend sits me down basically say she's using me she's this and that which I believed at first, over the next two weeks I realise actually this is bullshit so I stopped really interacting on that chat, but I did speak to both of them privately even defending her as few weeks back before a meetup they both told me not to go because she'll be there

Then three weeks ago he sent me a rather nasty message basically implying I'm obsessing over her for not being in his streams lately just hers when she asked me to join first, I was straight up to him that that's not the case, but it practically annoyed me as he knows from conversation I have feelings, but I'm working on getting rid of them. I spoke to another friend about the girl and lightly mentioned about this group chat, she forwarded it to her so we had a talk over the phone on the 9th. She was pretty upset once she spoke to them as I expected they blamed the whole thing on me, she was upfront how upset she was that I've hurt her again and I promised that I won't let it happen again, she said "we'll see" while telling her my side of things

At the meetup we still interacted but I could tell she felt a bit uncomfortable, I reached out the day after we got back to say hey I'm sorry if i made you feel weird, gave you space but still want to be friends, she didn't reply to that and it's been a week

Have i screwed this up?

Updates

1 y

To be open about it one reason she was upset at me for telling her after this was mainly things I said to her/both of them but also stuff where they said I manipulated friends against her which isn't true, as well as still holding onto some feeling for her but I never acted on it

She was open with me on the call when I wanted to talk get my side of things out there properly with proof that she was upset at all of us, but as I hurt her multiple times of course she's not that happy with me mainly

[Oliverlogan263]

Dude, that sounds like a really messy and complicated situation. It's a bummer when friend groups get all tangled up like that, especially when feelings and miscommunications are involved.

Based on what you've described, it doesn't seem like you've completely screwed up the friendship, but it's definitely strained at the moment. The fact that she was still open to talking with you and giving you a chance to explain yourself is a good sign. She's clearly still willing to hear you out, even if she's feeling hurt and uncomfortable.

The key now is going to be giving her the space and time she needs to process everything, while also making it clear that you value her friendship and want to make things right. Don't bombard her with more messages or try to force your way back in. Let her come to you when she's ready.

In the meantime, focus on rebuilding that trust and being the best friend you can be - no matter what happens with any romantic feelings. Be understanding, honest, and consistent. Show her through your actions that you have her back, no matter what the other people in your friend group are saying.

It may take some time, but if you're patient and stay true to your word, there's a good chance you can get things back on track. Just don't get discouraged if it's a slow process. Mending broken trust always is.

The most important thing is that you learn from this experience. Be more aware of how your words and actions can impact others, even if you don't intend any harm. Always strive to communicate openly and avoid getting caught up in messy group dynamics.

You got this, dude. Just stay positive, be the bigger person, and have faith that your friendship can weather this storm. With time and effort, you may just come out of this even stronger.

[Anonymous]

Learn how to communicate. You are failing badly here.