Many of you probably seen the post about a girl being aired out as a bully
our city is small and it’s a lot of us on this website. When they aired out my a friend that belongs to my sister. She was going around here bullying others, disrespecting people households, hanging with others trying to get them to fight other people for her, she was turning people against each other, she was slandering the hell out of people reputations, she was using people, and she had people afraid of her. She was stalking people and using others to do so while lying to people. She often started watching people who knew too much about her. Once you met her and knew the type of activity she was involved in, she will make it hard for you to cut off contact. She didn’t wanna get her secrets told so she had people watched. Today that changed, somebody completely aired her out to the core including her secrets of lying to be a school teacher. I cut ties off with the girl that was friends with her as well. Her behavior was absolutely ridiculous that it had people scared to cut ties with her. She treated people as if they were her slaves and used her popularity to treat others how she wants. What people didn’t know actually came to light today. Everyone is just shocked because it’s always something they suspected. So many people in the county are talking about this because other people have started to speak out. There are even local pastors involved that said they so glad somebody spoke out and finally said something. She had a large police protection so she got away with everything and I MEAN EVERYTHING
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First answer is, noone can know if your wrong or right... but I can speak generally about ending friendships.
Any friend is always in the wrong when ending a friendship on the word, say or evidence from third parties alone. Unless you have personal and direct experience of the friend, and are certain they are being a bad friend or certain the type of friend they are is toxic generally (from first hand encountered behaviours) your responsibility as a friend is as follows:
1) Speak with your friend, raise the matters your concerned about as non-judgementally as possible, prefereably highlighting what is concerning you as her friend
2) Hear out your friend, find out their perspective and their ideas of why (if you feel their lying to you, just listen and take in what they say anyway, at the end, acknowledge their claims and then outline where you feel they are being untruthful).
3) Work respectfully with them, and challenge them.
Having done that, if your friend does any of the following then it's a good time to end the friendship:
1) Attacks you personally rather than listening
2) Denies everything in a way that shows transparent lies (meaning you mention serveral incidents your 100% certain happened, all of which are denied and they make out like your making stuff up)
3) You have no doubt she is lying due to seeming to be nice until your gone then the problems re-occur all over again
When ending it, be clear on why, and if your friend wants to debate those points give her the respect to debate them as long as you feel the conversation isn't becomming unproductive.
This is the only way to be a true friend, all people can have problems and sometimes people we know have serious personality issues. If possible, you might just distance yourself from her behavours but still be there for the parts of her which made her your friend to being with. One commonnality for my friends is they all have good hearts, they try their best to their level of inteligence; Sometimes people with good hearts, who are not so intelligent do what they feel is the right thing but actually cause huge messes. Over time, it comes back to them. When they learn from those messes, they need a friend who can see how they intended to be, but also a friend who can explain to them in kindness how they saw what they where trying to do but also to clearly outline what actually happened, in the hope they can grow.
Best of luck here, whatever you decide, just be happy you did the right thing for you and what you cared for to make them a friend to begin with.
Thank you! I’m glad I ended it! She was entirely too jealous
good for you, only be near good people. that story is shocking.