Would you be offended if one of your friends did not want to go to an after-party or celebration of life party after a funeral?

[Staximus]

So one of my friends drank himself to death over the last few years. He died a couple months ago and he was 3 years younger than me, but he looked like he was 65 for fuck's sake. I'm at work and it's 3:00 in the morning, and the memorial service is at 10:30 in the morning. I get off of work at 7:00 a. m., then I have to go home, do laundry eat some breakfast, and go to the funeral / memorial service. It's at a local park down the street from my friend's old house in the old neighborhood. Now there's going to be a bunch of my old friends there, and they are going to want to go back around the corner to one of my friend's houses and drink and barbecue and have a big party in memory of my friend. I want to just go to the memorial service and skip this celebration of life party. Maybe say some words or see some of the old crew and then go home and go to sleep, because I have been working all night. I think some of my friends are going to give me a bunch of shit and give me a bunch of hell for not going to the afterparty / celebration of life whatever the fuck you want to call it. To me it's the memorial that matters. I would feel kind of bad for drinking or getting drunk at a celebration of life party for a guy that drank himself to death, but I know my friends are going to go full on Irish wake style where everybody is drunk. We're all pushing 50 and to me it's like " hey guys we're not in our 20s anymore, the fucking party is over"

Updates

1 y

And I still have to go to sleep and then work at 11pm again tonight

Updates

1 y

Okay I figured it out. I think I am going to go to the after party for like 10 minutes and make everybody take a shot of Wild Turkey with me. Then they will want me to leave because I will try to make them drink more Wild Turkey

[thegreenyogi]

You have to do what feels right to you. Grief and the way we process it is different for everyone and your way of remembering your friend by just going to the memorial should be respected and even if it isn't who cares? Do you. Even if your friends give you hassle that's not your problem. It's theirs. I'm sorry for your loss.

[Staximus]

I want to hang out with them but I work 12 hours from 11:00 p. m. to 11:00 a. m. yesterday and today I'm working from 11:00 p. m. to 7:00 a. m. and I have to work at 11:00 p. m. again. If I don't go to sleep, I'm going to fall asleep on the job. I won't get in trouble for that but I can't work all night on 2 hours of sleep

[Staximus]

I think I'm going to go to the after party for like 10 minutes and make everybody drink Wild Turkey with me and then they will want me to leave

[thegreenyogi]

Thanks!

[IslaTheWitch]

we don't do it here anyway, so I wouldn't :D

[Staximus]

I thought you were from the "vodka belt" haha

[IslaTheWitch]

we drink on funerals... not after :D

[Staximus]

Hahaha

[Staximus]

Didn't you say you are from Poland? My friend's girlfriend was from Poland. I went to her graduation party and her family was drinking vodka on ice. There was about 20 people from Poland and 10 empty vodka bottles, and the party has only been going for a couple hours. I thought to myself "holy shit, these are real alcoholics" hahaha

[IslaTheWitch]

yeah... we have much higher alcohol tolerance :D

in Poland funeral usually includes church services, as 99.9999% are catholics here... and then the family invites guests for a meal and there is usually a lot of alcohol... so you need no after party :D

[Breanna83727]

No, not at all. Grief is personal, and everyone processes it differently. Some people find comfort in gathering and celebrating the person’s life, while others prefer a more private way of mourning. If someone wants to attend only the funeral and skip the after-party, that’s completely understandable and should be respected.

[red-lipstick-girl]

Don't go to the party, just go to the funeral, you are a tired man because you worked hard, don't interlocate people who don't show you

[Booboolove69]

No not really because funerals are intense
Celebrations of Life are fun but some only have this instead of the funeral