Would you Attend a Parent's burial when You are Not Welcome by the Family?

[Paris13]

**My sister is Trying to Play games with Dates and so Forth with Dad's burial this Summer. She purposely Turned the Rest of the Family against me. I feel so Unloved and Unwanted and May NOT GO NOW. What Would you Do? xx

I would still Go, Paris!

I would never Go, Paris!

I would do my own memory sometime in the Future, Paris!

D): Other, Paris!

Updates

+1 y

Good NEW NEWS!!! St. Peter's Cemetery Called me and will Let me know of the Date and Not tell Them we are Doing this. I can go and Stand Outside the gate to take Pix even and When they Go---I can GO IN and do My own Thing!!! Screw them!!! lolxx

[humanearth]

Let's See them try and stop me. Either I'm going to jail or everyone is going to jail. Because I will not allow what happen to my dad happen to me.

They pulled that crap with my dad. 30 years ago my grandfather (my dads father) and they would not even let him in to see his father for the last time.

Then they did it to him again when his mother died a few years ago. I'll tell you this when his sister died. He won't Be able to go to that either.

I get it, my dad was not a great guy, but he had the right to pay the last respects to them and he was denied that right.

We went from Being a free county to being a group of mini dictators and want to control someone else.

PS
While at the wake. All they did was talk shit about my dad. Yeah, yeah, I know not a good guy. But what happened To respect and decency to the dead and those around you.

I finely had enough and got up. Told everyone off and left. I never felt so ashamed of my dads side of the Family in my life.

So Paris I really do understand the bullshit you are going though and its totally fucked up.

I wish I could be there. Because me and my wife would come down there and bust some heads. We'll so them how a Dam Yankee kicks ass

[Paris13]

Thank You, sweetheart. Kisses to you both, Ms. Mother Nature. They can kiss my ass my family. xx

[Lliam]

I'm sorry for your loss, Paris, and for the fucked up way your family is treating you.

I'd go to honor my dad, but also as a big fuck you to those ass holes. Show them that you are your own boss.

If I was in your shoes, I wouldn't go to the service. But I would definitely go the the graveside service. Bring a flower or flowers. When the service ends, step forward and lay them on his coffin right in front of those people. Then turn and walk away with a dismissive air, head held high. No tail between your legs.

It will be a sweet, tender gesture in honor of your dad. And it will show the people that they can kiss your ass.

In the end, you'll be happy that you honored him.

[Paris13]

Just Know she will be a Bit Drunkish and very Cold... xx

[Jessica405]

It is your one last chance, Paris! Go! You are going for yourself, for your own benefit, not for others benefit. You don't have to interact. Just be there with your own thoughts and memories.

By the way, there are so many GAGers that love and respect you. I have known you far a long while, since I got here as juicyjessie. I can't be the only one here to hold you in the highest regardn.

[Paris13]

Jessie!!! Alistyr still Speaks Highly of You, sweetheart. Thank YOU so much. xx

[Jessica405]

You are ALWAYS most welcome. I hope it works out OK. It must be a sad time for you, without all this aggro. XX

[Paris13]

It Is Indeed, Sweetheart. Thank You so Much again. xx

[Jessica405]

Please thank Alistyr for thinking of me! XX

[Jessica405]

Thank you for MHG! Go9d news in your update!

[SaoirseS]

I’m very sorry for your loss. Funerals and burials are for the living, and I’d suggest working it out with your family so that you can attend. If you can’t, contact the funeral director handling the arrangements. We’ve seen this before, and can usually make arrangements that will accommodate everyone.

[Paris13]

Great Advice, Thank You, dear. xx

[Shiver]

Jeez, your sister's quite the cunt. It's like she hasn't aged past 16 mentally.
Honestly, either show up and call their bullshit out in a subtle way, or don't show up and take your own time at a later point.
If you don't show up, chances are most people who realize what's happening will die on the inside because they know they didn't try to stop it. That thought living in the back of someone's head is enough to make a person be afraid of even looking at you. Either way, it's a fucked up situation with a more fucked up aftermath for your "family" once they realize what they're playing along with.

[Paris13]

You sound like The Guy who is Buying My House with Sister. lol!!! Thank You, dear!!! xx

[ColoradoKid]

I would show up hell or high water. He is your dad too. I am certain that my late wife's family didn't want me there. I would have fought any one of them had they said anything. I even got up and spoke. She was not blood but she was my wife. You will need to have some people backing you up and you may need to prepare for a fight. I have been raised and told that if you are right you will win. You may get roughed up but victory will be yours. I hope that they will hold thier tounges and keep the peace. Don't be the one starting stuff but prepare to end it. I wish you luck with all of that and I am sorry for your loss.

[Paris13]

Thank You, dear. xx

[Aguysopinion4799]

If they didn't want me there then I wouldn't go, I would make a more pleasant memory by instead visiting their grave on my own at some point later on when they aren't in my way.

I know that if I turned up to the burial while being told I was not welcome, it would inevitably cause the respectable event to go on a tangent from the main point, they wouldn't be focusing on the burial but rather an argument would break out about me turning up, so out of respect to the dead, it would be better for me to let them peacefully say their goodbyes and then me later on say mine when not around the others.

That is what I would do, not sure about others though.

[Paris13]

Bad Blood, Yesss. xx

[Aguysopinion4799]

<3 Thank youu! xx ;)

[Nik1hil]

Your dad is gone..
It doesn't matters if you are there or not...
Also if your sister is a bitch..
If you go there.. She will mistreat you..
And if you don't go.. She will say.. That you don't care that your dad died..

My suggestion is first take care of yourself.. And avoid getting mistreated.. By not going..
And do something good else that your dad used to do for society..
Savor his memory..

Than take photos and videos of what you did post it on your social status saying..
" Savoring my father's memory..
Also the reason I am did not attend his burial is because he said 'Avoid toxic people in life' and taking his advice. I am avoiding my sister."

[Paris13]

Lovely, Nik, Thank You, dear. xx

[Smoothing]

I would still go. I am not going to a funeral because of the people that are alive. I am going to the funeral because of the one that passed on. A funeral is a farewell to the deceased and celebration of their past life. If that person is my dad, there is no way I am letting some petty sibling stop me from going. The have no right or authority to exclude me.

[Paris13]

She won't LET me Take Pix either. xx

[Smoothing]

Well, when it comes to pics, I don't think it is something to do in a funeral. It is inappropriate. But she has no right in stopping you from attending your father's funeral. She is your father too as much as hers. It doesn't matter the kind of person she thinks you are. It is just plain wrong for her to stop you from attending the funeral.

[Smoothing]

We don't get to choose who our relatives are. They just are what we are given. Drunkard, druggie, handicap, snob, wealthy, etc. When it comes to importance events like funerals, I just can't express how wrong it is, to stop a relative from attending.

[OlderAndWiser]

If you go, will everyone have the attention on you rather than your father?

If you don't go, will you regret it for the rest of your life?

[S3ntnl]

She should go

[Paris13]

I am Doomed. My sister wants the Attention on her and I may Regret it if I go... xx

[OlderAndWiser]

You should probably attend with the plan of remaining for the shortest possible time.

[TommyMountainFigure]

I'd phone up the burial place and find out when it was, then I would have nothing to do with any of them.
I would certainly go out of respect for my father, and to anyone that didn't want me there? to hell with all of them!

[Paris13]

They are FORBIDDING me from even Calling anymore but Thought of the Church to Find OUT. xx

[TommyMountainFigure]

Here's an old Yahoo hug for ya >:D<

Don't concern yourself with them. You go be at the service for your Dad.

[Leavesbound]

I was not permitted to attend my mother's funeral but the way they did this was I found out my mom died when my landlord gave me a condolence card after seeing her obituary in the paper. That was the day after the funeral.

[Paris13]

How awful for You, dear. xx

[abc3643]

My wife didn't. Her mother died in February. She didn't go to the graveside service which was set up by her son who is more or less estranged from us. We are the blacksheep of her family - a real dysfunctional family circus!

[Paris13]

Wow!!! Welcome, Master!!! xx

[beebella]

I'm sorry for your loss. 💔

Despite whatever happened between you all, he was your father, too. You have as much right to be there as anybody else.

[Paris13]

Thank You, BB. She was Always HIS favorite. xx

[Laciandmaci]

I would still go whether you family wants you there or not he was your father and nobody can change that!!! Sorry for your loss!

[Paris13]

Thank You so Much, dear. xx

[ohshee]

No it would be better if you went by your self the day after that way nobody else knows that you went everybody has another reason to bitch and moan about nothing they know nothing about

[Paris13]

Thank You, dear. xx

[Jaximus-Lion]

Stay it their house until it's over. Very painful to hear, i am not sure there is anything i would write here that can make you feel better. Sorry for your loss

[Paris13]

Thank You, dear so much. xx

[bolverk]

I'd attend the funeral, if not by the graveside with the rest of the family then I'd hang back until the funerals over and then say good bye when the rest of the family has left.

[Honesttguy]

Yep this one is good advice

[Paris13]

Ahh, I can Do That, Yesss. xx

[Wiredone]

First I would talk to the rest of the family and set them straight about your sister. Then I would still go to the funeral. Nobody, I mean nobody will keep me from saying goodbye to my father and getting the closure that I need.

[Paris13]

Nice going. xx

[Wiredone]

Why is your sister doing this to you? You seem like a nice person. Is she a lunatic or something

[Wiredone]

Good for you Paris. I'm glad the cemetery is working with you.

[Gwenhwyfar]

I would ask my partner what they think and talk it out with them. I do think you shouldn’t go if you feel like it’s gonna be a hostile experience.

[Paris13]

Smart, I Think, dear. xx

[pleasestopthis]

Yes, of course. Their opinion of you isn't important, you deserve to be there and pay your last respects to your father. Don't let their pettiness get in the way and steal this from you.

[Paris13]

Thank You, dear. xx

[EaterPeter]

Everybody's situations are different. You've to make that call for yourself. What it means to you to burial. This is one time thing. I would try to go. That was your father and you cared about him. Now, is it life threatening for you to go?

[Paris13]

Painstaking and also no Pix she is allowing. How cruel. xx

[EaterPeter]

How can she keep you from taking pictures

[EaterPeter]

You need her legal permission

[EaterPeter]

How is she able to allow or not

[EaterPeter]

All 3 are? s

[EaterPeter]

Do you need*

[EaterPeter]

Thanks for like!

[tata1993]

I’m sorry this happened! Just go!!! Think about you first and you dad. Don’t mind the haters 😉

[Paris13]

Thank You, sweetheart! xx

[belle_kai]

No please go, you will regret it. This day is about your dad, not them. I've been there and done it, honestly. X

[Paris13]

Thank You, dear. xx

[Agape93]

Nope. Fuck em. They weren’t there for me, and I won’t be there when they finally take a dirt nap.

[Paris13]

Dirty play is Good. xx

[Agape93]

Let em enjoy it then for eternity.

[menina]

It's good to see that you can go. I would say that it would depend on the relationship you had with your father. If you loved him, you should go even if they don't want you around.
I'm sorry to hear that your sister turned all the family against you. That's not fair.

[Anonymous]

You can have a private viewing. Ask the funeral home if you can come in before the others. Let them know that there is some friction between you and the rest of the family. We did it for my aunts funeral.

[Paris13]

Um, Sis is bringing the URn to the Graveside though. Service is there. xx

[Opinion Owner]

Oh, I would be going. It would be an embarrassment for her to try an deprive a person from their parents funeral. She can sit on the opposite side and be quiet about it… kind of just like the parents would have done to the two when they were young.

[Likes2drive]

Probably still go out of respect for your Dad and then leave afterwards

[Paris13]

Yes, No Lunch for me for sure, Big Guy. xx

[Anonymous]

In terms of your father, you have a natural right to be there I would think. I dunno what's been going on you family though.
In general, I would respect the organiser's wishes.

[Paris13]

You mean Narcissist's. xx

[collie22]

if your feeling you need closure the i would go who cares what they say they probably regret that stuff later anyway

[Paris13]

Thank You, dear. xx

[Luckycharms12]

Yes my parent too wouldn't let anyone stop me saying goodbye

[Paris13]

I did Mom but my Sister is thinking Now she is the Only Child... xx

[Luckycharms12]

Well she can get over herself

[silkjames]

Ofcourse that's your dad if u love then u hold your head up and walk your butt right in there too pay your respect/love and surpost to your dad u go for him and your family even if they are hateing on u u show them and ofcourse your self u are stronger and nomatter what drama happen u love them too don't u dear fall to your sister level that's what I think Hun❤️🙏!

[CubaPirate]

@Lliam has said it all, and I don't feel like there's anything else I can add

[Paris13]

He Has... xx

[CubaPirate]

👍👍👍 Try it stay strong in what are obviously difficult times for

[CubaPirate]

In terms of your update good for you girl do what you need to and stay strong. My thoughts are with you. Take time to grieve and try to move on with your own life without letting others emotionally drag you down

[msc545]

Why bother? The person whose feelings would matter is dead.

[Paris13]

Yes, And She ruins every One of His Times with Me. xx

[clampfan101]

Try to put everything aside for just one day in respect for the one departed. Go.

[Paris13]

I will Think it Over, Thank You, dear. xx

[lpoots]

hated the family when they were breathing
why would i want to see them when they have stopped
breathing

[Paris13]

But I loved Dad. xx

[2018life]

They'd better welcome me. Or else... haha jk they welcome me but I hope your situation improves soon, you sister could be grieving in her own way even if it is a little strange (turning everyone against you, etc.)

[Browneye57]

The very first thing for you to do: QUIT CHOOSING TO BE A VICTIM.
And yes, go to the memorial, hold your head up, and ignore any naysayers. Go for YOU, not them.

[llcanon]

Never never let other people control what you want to do especially when it comes to paying your respect to a parent's burial as it is hard to live with regrets. Do the right thing here and you will have peace in your heart

[supercutebutt]

Is it really because you aren't vaccinated? If so, get vaccinated, Paris!

[Philyouup]

Fuck them, He's you father, dont let them steal this from you.. Even if you don't feel like going, you will regret it if you don't. Your man should stand right next to you... I know I would..

[jahaims]

If I wanted to go I'd go

[Paris13]

... I know... xx

[CuriousMufuxka]

I would not even attend your funeral but only because you would resurrect days later.

[Sabretooth]

what was your mother to you?

[Paris13]

Dead now and Now Dad, dear.:((xx

[Sabretooth]

No. I mean what kinda relationships did you have?

[Bklynbadboy12]

Yes it pay my respects I love my parents nothing could keep me away

[jimmy2]

Thats so sad

[Paris13]

Pathetic. xx

[jimmy2]

Yes my brother was like that

[eagle1951]

i say C

[Paris13]

I like This. xx

[WowwGirl]

It's disrespectful to go

[Shihab91]

They can't unwelcome me 😎🔥

[888theGreat]

Did you love your dad?