Would you be upset if some relative won't attend her/his own Mother`s Day gathering?

[Anonymous]

I mean Mother day can be celebrated any time of the year not the special day assigned for that. Some relatives are really upset and disapointed at my brother cause he tolod a cousin he won't attend the Motehrs day lunch at some restaurant.

The thing is this: My female cousin is organizing a lunch for Mothers Day in 2 weeks and the lunch will be at some restaurant (each one pay what they order), in order to spend family time together as a family. In this case the cousin is just inviting to the lunch just some relatives not all, beacuse they consider me and my family closer than other relatives beause my female cousin and her family (her parents, her brother, her daughter, her nephews and nieces) we are the closest family to her, as we alwyas celebrate social gatherings together (Christmas, birthdays, local ride trips etc) and this does not happen with other relatives. The reason this cousin always take us into account, plus my brother had gone several times to local rides with his male cousin (my female cousin brother) as buddies.

The reason for this Mothers day invitation just to us and not other family relative. My brother is a guy who has a difficult temper, he had always been like that but still family is family and even though there are things we may nbever like from our family members, we always care for each other with our flaws. My brother is a person who says "I dont have to please noone to get along with a person, just beacuse we have to give family some type of obeisance).

The thing is that my brother told me "I won't go to the Mothers day thing, I can't confirm now like our cousin wants us to confirm NOW, I dotn know my plans for the future days so II may go or not go., I will see". So I had to tell this to my cousin who is organizing the lunch in 2 weeks She got all upset and told me how is possible my brother wotn go to Mothers day lunch if the celebration is for our mom and all the mothers that day including my mom sister (my aunt).

Updates

10 mo

My female cousin is all upset my brother won't go. I mean my brother says well "that is my decision and they dont have to meddle in what I decide, I dotn meddle in their life, If I dont go they should respect that and if I want to celebrate with mom I will do it other day and I will take her to lunch or something like that" Like I said my brother had always been like that and my family had known him like that , difficult temper. Of course my brother by not going he for sure my cousins will be up

Updates

10 mo

upset with him from now on, as they can't grasp the idea my brother not going to a lunch that is for mom and all mothers, cause my cousins (even my own sister think the same) will think that is being a "bad son" and that is not forgiveable the way he is behaving. My brother says he can't afford to waste much money on a lunch at this moment. I mean it be just one lunch though but he says he won't go, he may decide if he goes or not later in the days but he is not sure.

[20yearsolder]

Tell your cousin to get over it, enjoy the people that show up to the gathering otherwise it's no big loss that your brother doesn't show up. You've already said he's an asshole with a temper so he doesn't really need to be there anyway

[Asker]

I know I mean it could happen my brotehr changes his mind in the following days maybe he does not change it, but until the day is near I find out, not now. But my cousin texted me yesterday and ask me she needed to confirm the amount of people attending cause since it is Mothers day the restaurant gets full fast so maybe the restaurant is asking clients to confirm faster to book the tables, that is why my cousin needed the confirmation who in my house is going to make the reservation. My brother does not liek when things are done like taht fast and right away, my brother is more laid back and since he says he did not know or was not sure if he was going, immediately he said " Ok tell the cousin I won't go then I can't confirm as fast as she wants". And here is where my cousin said "she does not understand how come my brother is not going on a celebration for our own mother and spend tiem with the family with his cousins and other mothers of the family, if we are a close family"

[Asker]

And the reason possibly my cousin from now on she will be upset to my brother for a long time just beacuse" my brother is not going to this particular celebration cause is not forgivable my mom own son is not attending to celebrate Mothers Day".

[20yearsolder]

That's between a mother and a son, it has nothing to do with your cousin. Your cousin can explain or you can explain to your mother that he was invited and chose not to come

[Asker]

My mom already knows he does not plan to go and she is not super upset, although my mom will like for sure my brotehr attend and spend a fun nice time with the family cause it is mothers day, he is her son. My mom may talk to my brotehr in the following days to see if he still holds his promise not to go or change his mind. The thing is that my cousin is very delicate and sentimental she gets upset for little things and then critcize people, especially when it comes to this topics like what a mother mans, that a motehr needs to be taken care of, and treated well. For my cousin probably that is not the way a son should treat their own mother