Do you have a long term friend?

[petitedollbabee]

I’ve had a few, but 4-5 years seems to be my personal expiry date for friendships. I grow and change as a person, and my friend either doesn’t grow/change at all in that time, or they grow in the opposite direction from me, and we just grow apart and lose whatever we first had.

For those of you with long term friends, how did you do it? How did you prevent the friendship from falling apart, and kept it strong despite life changes & differences in maturity?

[ohsheeT]

This is the same as every relationship in this world. This is what happens when 2 people lose that connection in time. This connection has to be real because how important it is to you and for you...

It would be so easy to only make this relationship about yourself. And say I'm tired of this I'm tired of trying .

And then walk away. I've been in some good relationships. I've been in 1 good long distance relationships and we are just friends.
And the same thing will happen. Or really it's taking place right now it just time to end the whole thing.
That to me is really sad but it has to be done in real life I have friends
That we are long term but we do see each other until we see each other them we go our separate ways

I do have friends online kinda the same way if we see each other on line we say hi chat for a few min and say good bye until next time. Every friend ship or close friend ship that I have ever had I have trued to keep it going.

I haven even tried to do an Experiment asking the question would you every try an Experiment with someone to see how long your relationship would last with someone.
It has happen 2 times. I think one lasted about 2 weeks and the other one about 5 days I still would like to do this with some one.. but know one will take or make the time for it.

[ohsheeT]

But I am looking for a long term friend

[NathanDavis]

I'm still close and great friends with a classmate from middle-school... we met at age 12

also with two high-school friends I met at age 16... and three more friends I met in college age 20

these would be the longest and really close friendships so, it's kind of obvious how "easy" it was to maintain a friendship during school times, we would spent most of the day together, lol... now after, there were a lot of changes obviously but the one thing that never changed was the closeness we built upon our friendships

we had and we still have a lot less time to meet in person, and some of them do not live any way close either but we still meet from time to time and it does feel like things never changed, this in terms of closeness, because everything else changed quite a lot

I guess, one key point was that we valued the "quality" over the "quantity" of our time together... we all had the same focus... to make the most of it, with the less time we all had available

I must say as well that, the constant and consistent communication online has kept that feel of closeness very much present and alive

[MemeSupreme]

a few i talk to sometimes, but nothing like one that passed away a few months ago

she legit was a sister like we were that close. we rarely ever feared being judged from each other and we could be ourselves. we hung out at least once a week and texted every day. she really helped reinforce healthy social habits bc i instinctively push others way

feel like when you have that chemistry and both people want the same out of a friendship, then staying in touch isn't hard. it's just hard to find that lol

[Account]

All the people I consider friends are long term friends. The newest one was a friend I made 7 years ago. The rest I made in middle school and college.
As for how it works, we respect each other we grow together as human beings.
I have lost old friends as well and that is something that happens in life when people's priorities change or when you are no longer compatible.

[KostasKouvalis]

Not anymore. I did for 8 years. It was a little rocky for me, but we never even had a fight, then suddenly it all fell apart within a matter of hours. It's difficult to explain why it lasted so long, but a lot of it had to do with mutual respect and being able to vent to each other. We also had a REALLY intense connection and so much in common and we didn't judge each other and neither of us wanted this special connection with anyone else. And I felt we respected each other's boundaries and were careful not to do/say anything to scare the other person. Yeah, so much for that.

It all fell apart within a matter of hours. There was a misunderstanding and she was convinced I had ill intentions, and I guess I also misread her feelings (as I do with everyone), and I felt she might like me. In my defense, it had been a few years since we last discussed it, so I thought maybe her feelings changed. I guess it came off as "creepy"/"pushy", even though she assured me in the past that I never was. The "feelings" I'll afmit to, but I had good reasons and I wish she would give me a chance to explain.

I hope she remembers the GOOD things about me though and has a change of heart.

...

I'm about the same. It's not just friends but with everything. I've noticed a pattern, that I typically last 4 years before I fuck things up. I think it's because 4 years is quite a long time, so I start to feel too secure and comfortable, and I end up letting my guard down and being too honest and genuine, which ends up leading to problems.

[MannMitAntworten]

I have had the same best pal for 31 years. He moved away, has been married, had several kids, divorced now … Me, I moved away at some point too but only went as far as becoming engaged. No kids. We still like the same thing and do the same things granted we share the moments via our digital devices these days. Regardless, we are no less best of friends. I still trust him with my life if it came to that. He doesn’t know but I left him my entire estate should something happen to me as I no longer have any family of my own. If no other reason but to encourage him to move back since I know he loved it so much here…

[FreyaRed]

As child I moved lot around with my parents and this wasn't beneficial to find long term friendships. Later on friendship became more pragmatic. I have a friend who lost her best friend she knew since childhood. I try since 4 years to be the mentor she needs and emotional anchor, but I'm not 60yo grandma with ton of life experience and emotions are rather weakness they useful for me. I guess I'm a bad friend, maybe such friend is needed.
People are generally your friends when they can use you. You're a presentable person for parties or you have some useful connections to circles they want be part of. Sometimes they just want to learn from you, because you have experience in things they didn't have opportunity to learn.
Long term friendship is a short term friendship that is mutually beneficial and no one feels exploited or abused.

[TsundereMatrix]

One of my best friends I knew since grade 10 dropped out of high school to help her working single mom with her two younger sisters while she did school through an outreach program. Since she lived near my school I would visit her all the time on my lunch break. After we graduated, I took off for college while she continued to help her mom. That where we lost contact. Years later I started working at the local convenience store in my hometown and we reconnected there. I then moved even farther away which made hanging out hard but I would always try to get together with her when I came home to visit my family. It’s really all about communication. Her and I don’t talk every day but we do check up on each other or call each other when surprising news happens. It really does seem that friendships have an expiry date but with the right communication it still can work. Most of the long term friends I still talk to I have been disconnected from for sometime before we reconnected.

[MrCharlie13]

Normally, you make a friend that grows on a similar way as you. Also, no matter if you drift apart, a real friend will meet you again and you'll talk as if time never took you apart. Modern tech allows you to keep on touch with friends, just by sending memes for example. I met. my oldest friend when I was 5. 35 years later we don't meet that much in person but we still keep in touch through social networks

[DCVsMarvel]

My friend, who sold me my current car, cause he works for the honda about a half hour from me, has been a friend of mine since 5th grade. He used to work for a pizza place, managed it even, but, he's making more money now at the honda dealer. And he's around what he loves now, cars. He's married, with twins, and has a couple cars himself.

I never really see him anymore, because of that but, yeah, he's a good friend of mine

[unknowngurll1212]

Ysss! I’ve had a long-term friend since 4th class... Now, she’s an engineering student, and I’m a medical student. We still keep in touch... 🤍

[unknowngurll1212]

I get that! People change, and sometimes friendships fade naturally. For me, I think it’s about mutual effort—checking in even when life gets busy, respecting each other’s growth, and embracing the differences instead of letting them create distance. We don’t talk every day, but we know we’re always there for each other... 🤍

[alice55]

I had until he became creepy and delusional, he was persuaded I had feeling for him no matter how much I told him I did not. He became ways too pushy and creepy.

[Nikki1989]

I have friends I still chat with every week that I have known for 20 years or longer, but they live on the other side of the world.

[DrPepper12]

People are always falling in and falling out.

[petitedollbabee]

I’ve never really fallen back in with anyone. Just fallen out and moved on.

[milknhoneyy]

I can't even keep friends that long honestly. I think it's just who I am at this point.

[AgentG111]

I did, been friends since I was 15. Sadly he passed this year due to a battle with Cancer.

It's extremely hard when you have thoughts or questions and as you get ready to call or text or stop by it hits you, they are gone.

I'm happy that within this time period of my life I've also made some friends who have also become extremely close and are into my long term friends stage as well.

[glennos89]

People come and go, even your best friends will leave at some point. It's part of the circle of life

[Anitha001]

It's very rare that people don't grow apart. if you are locked in a small town where you don't have many opportunities to expand you can keep close friends for a lifetime. this actually reminds me of this movie: The Banshees of Inisherin :)

[Apulu_backagain]

Does a late friend count? She was my friend from 4th grade to 10th grade before she passed away out of nowhere but if she were alive, she would still be with me.

Personally, I don't see a lasting friendship with anyone but her.

[Purpleronnie]

2 of my friends I have had for over 30 years , sure I may not see them as often as I’d like having moved around a fair bit but when we get together it’s always easy to get right back to where we were

[Nice222]

I have had a Female friend since kindergarten. Almost 50 years now. We have an awesome relationship.

[DJB72]

I'm still mate with two people I went to nursery with 50 years ago. My best mate I've known over 30 years. I think my newest friendship is five years old now.

[Stevepro68]

For men not that hard I've had friends now for 40 years. I still get together with my old HS friends at least once a year. Might be an issue for you.

[katiesmuff]

I've got several from back in grammar school that I am still good friends with and one I met on this site 16 years ago that I still talk too.

[exitseven]

I do. He died a year ago.

[petitedollbabee]

Im sorry for your loss

[exitseven]

I still cannot believe he is gone.

[MrChinaski]

Most of my friends I have known for 20-30 years. Some 10-15 years. I guess I'm bad at making new friends.

[Valdemort]

Most close friends I've known for 10-20 years

[BadApple69]

My longest friendship goes back to when I was the age of four. We still talk once a week.

[WhitneySnow]

I have a few. I still keep in touch with a lot of my high school friends.

[lilBigPotato]

Yes I will have some early childhood friends

[beefcakebradybatson]

My boy Jamie Logsdon since 1980, my dentist/buddy, Dr. James Chase since 1967, and Bob Potomski, who died Mar.23, since 1968. (Dr. Chase and Potomski were high school buddies).

[Fireguy17]

yes, a number of the from high school, or at the firehouse.

[Anonymous]

The news and youtube is full of cons... loser friends.. I've learned you have be careful who you get to close to most people dont have friends for a reason.. lol..

[KittygosMeoWW]

Yes and she’s been mia on me since yesterday…. I’m a blow her up because she better not be talking to this weird guy she likes

[LiamJHayden]

Several. I've had my best friend for more than 25 years since I was 4, and a few others since I was in elementary school.

[Grond21]

I have several, and it takes dedicated investment from both of you, plus they need to grow too

[Staximus]

I still have some friends from fifth grade, middle school, and a lot from high school

[Pterodon]

Yes I do. I have a brother from another mother and we’ve had each other’s backs for 50 years

[Kelly3_]

I don't date in my friend group. And cultivate my friendship. My best friend from birth. I call her my sister.

[Anonymous]

Hold on you're only 23

Plenty of time to make new friends

[PBandJ_Nerd]

Yeah, I have quite a few long term friends.

[serious]

No. Never had friends.

[Finchie40]

Yes, because I don’t change lol

[Jerre]

We both love sex, several times a week

[petitedollbabee]

Huh?

[kingukraine]

Yes few from a young age.

[RedInnocent69]

Yeah, a few going on more than 30 years now

[Becky93]

I had friend I call her sister grew up for months.

[Lilly1979]

I have my best friend and me from birth.

[Manuelwe]

My longest friend is a woman I choose not to fuck

[wkhan_87]

Yes , my all friends are almost long terms

[Anonymous]

I used to, long time ago.

[Sono83]

I have had a few friends for decades.

[Jmmmfi4]

I have literally 0 friends

[eagle1951]

i have no friends

[Anonymous]

There used to be

[EmmiL]

No I don't

[nukamal]

Parissmith