Update to last question that I could not fit everything into one summary?

[Anonymous]

It’s just the judgement of what others may say. Plus I’ve always been independent, and could never see myself solely depending on a man. So I would definitely want to run my own business while being a stay at home mom. Even if it did not contribute much money, I just want something to call my own. Is it normal to feel this way? I am looking for advice for my situation, and stories that may help me find clarity.

At what age did you feel ready to have kids?

[Shiprex]

It is perfectly possible to achieve this BUT you still require someone to be there in case of emergencies and to cover the bills when things aren't quite right.

Your fiance is in a position where he will still be the primary breadwinner and you won't be able to have much freedom once you have children to set up, run and expand a business.

You should try to prioritise either career of family as both are time consuming and costly,

[Asker]

I honestly would love to be a housewife. I just have an issue with fully depending on people, and I like having my own money. Which is why I would like to run my own business from home. It doesn’t have to be anything crazy big, just something to call my own. I also don’t want to lose my entire identity in my children. As I have heard many stories of that happening to other women. I have so many creative ideas that I sometime feel guilty about accepting to just become a housewife. I feel like I’m meant to do so much more, and as if I would be wasting my talents if I did.

[Asker]

I also sometimes feel that because I come from such a broken family, I can only achieve so much on my end. That I maybe should pass the torch to my children to take things to next level, that I always dreamed. I don’t know, my mind is a bit complex.

[Shiprex]

I think you sound like you are a but apprehensive about getting married if I am honest and I don't want you to feel bad about this viewpoint. Maybe once you're married you can then resolve to get into something that keeps you occupied and may be able to earn something from that. I can imagine that it must be frightening being dependent on another and feel obligated to them for this.

I wouldn't get too stressed about the notion that others found motherhood to be a challenge to their identity. It is a tough call though when you bring a child into it. Being a parent is a vital role and needs a committed person to do it well. You may even find it rewarding as so many others have done. Once they get older and are off at school that could easily become a time where you can get yourself into something that provides reward and validation for your efforts.

I don't know how to advise you but you can still achieve these things in your time as long as you don't allow things to get overwhelming for you and your partner is fully aware of your intentions without trying to diminish them