How can I get out of this sphere of isolation?

[Anonymous]

When I go to college, the classmates I talk to, aren't my friends. We only talk about school related stuff, it never goes beyond that. No, I dont go to a party school with a bunch of 18 to 20 yr old kids who party every night. Its a commuter college where most of us are adults working full time jobs with children.

At my job, people aren't my friends. Theyre just my coworkers. None of them ever want to become anything more than just coworkers.

My neighbors aren't my personal friends either. We just say hi to each other on our way to and from out building. Fake some small talk about the weather.

I don't know but I just feel like there are literally no places to make friends.

I have attended social events. Just a bunch of people who get together to talk but honestly, it feels like something is lacking. We dont have anything in common. From the 25 yr old to the 60 yr old sitting together. From the lawyer to a security guard.

And I know what you sre about to say... join a hobby club. Im sorry but there are no hobby clubs around that are part of my interests. Im not interested in hiking, running, volleyball, board games, anime, pickeball. Im extemely unathletic.

I even have went to the bar to try to meet people. NOBODY TALKED TO ME. Everyone ignored me when I tried making eye contact.

So should I just die alone? I can't be the only person who feels this isolated

[Pterodon]

I too have felt that way and was that way in my past. I was a true loner. Only one true friend my whole life. It has its perks but the biggest downside for me was doing everything alone. I did everything alone including my hobbies which included shooting, camping, hiking, backpacking and cooking. I finally decided I was the problem and needed to put myself out there in more social interaction with other people. It was very scary at first and it hasn’t been easy. One of the perks of being a loner is the fewer people you have in your life the better your life will run. Think Thanksgiving dinner with all the relatives and all the BS associated with it. There were many Thanksgiving dinners I did just for me and it was wonderful. I did meet a wonderful woman after forcing myself to be more social so overall changing myself has been a good thing. Good luck

[Asker]

putting yourself out there is harder than you think. I want to put myself out there but where? I have literally tried everything. Please don't say hobby clubs.

there are no clubs that involve my hobbies. there aren't even that many clubs around me. And the clubs I want to join are super expensive;.

[Pterodon]

There’s always church

[Asker]

why would you just assume I am christian? im not religious.

as you can see the predicament i am in

[Pterodon]

Not everyone goes to church to worship

[Jeff51]

Are you un friendly? Make sime friends somewhere

[Jeff51]

Thank you for the MHO

[CupcakeTheDestroyer]

Do you even have a hobby? At this point it sounds like you’re expecting only other people to make moved when you need to do it yourself.

[Asker]

I have a hobby but there are no clubs that involve my hobbies. there aren't even that many clubs around me. And the clubs I want to join are super expensive;.

[CupcakeTheDestroyer]

What’s the hobby?

[Asker]

martial arts- membership cost about 5000-6000.
Cheaper ones that are 4000- would take me at least 1.5 hours to get to (by train). I don't have the time to commute that long 2-3 times a week. I work a full time job and go to school part time.

investing- there are no investing clubs. Just meetups for financial professionals looking to network. I dont even work in finance. I'm in healthcare, what would i have to offer?

[CupcakeTheDestroyer]

Trade martial arts for a gym then, make friends there. Also, investing is not a hobby

[Asker]

i have a gym membership. nobody talks to me there. nobody makes eye contact either.

[CupcakeTheDestroyer]

Then talk to someone FIRST. Make a move. This isn’t dating, you can’t expect a friend to chase you.

[Asker]

@cupcakethedestroyer

i can't talk to people who won't even make eye contact with me. Im not going to do the impossible. I don't come from a friendly city. Eye contact and friendliness is crucial. Most people generally don't make eye contact with strangers in this city.

[melnc]

Hi🖐️